rootwork the rootsblog: a cyberhoodoo webspace

highschool reunions and speaking the unspeakable

hello world, down in the delta

and just as weary as i can be
family been running me pillar to post

yesterday clevelands little car crashed and burned and i
remember all the times my daddy had to come get me

off the road somewhere - what is it about family
crises that they like to wait until you come home to go nuclear

for what its worth i dont think hillary meant that comment
as explicitly how its been interpreted, but even the implicating

that you considering the possibility of assassination strategically
is a political nono - particular in this case, huckabee made a joke

about shooting obama a little while back and he had to apologize
i dont believe hillary was consciously thinking that

but it is indicative of the tone of this primary
and i for one will be glad when its over

ironic hillary say she hanging in there hoping obama will
commit gamechanging gaffes and instead she the one

for clinton this primary been a slow mo legacy killer

went to the reunion last night, had a good time
suppose to do a presentation to this evening

youve heard most of it dear regulators and a
40th reunion presentation corny by definition

but what the heck, might as well clock
the wordage

all my love

------------------------------

well well well the 40th reunion, a masquerade ball, as you see i came as arthur flowers, thats disguise enough, already a disguise just coming to the reunion, been exercising, got on my coolest threads, trying to look successful, this me at my best, this as good as it gets

always nice to see how folks have changed, how they havent, deep how folk with all the extra baggage, wrinkles and pounds and stresslines, still look just like they used to -  now here we are almost 60, i remember when being 50 was inconceivable, now here we are in our maturity, got my meds with me, okay  -   and when i get on that dance floor, ima be moving slow, mostly i just stand in place and get my sway on and every once in awhile i will get down on the floor but i feel the it next day, too much groove and i got to pay

but sho is good seeing yall, good breaking bread w/you, you know how it is, the class renunion, or hell no, then you come and have a wonderful time  -  want to thank gloria and the committee, whitman and his computer,  thank clarence and pruitt for hunting me down, deep isnt it the hold your graduating highschool class has on you, i guess its because it was your first herd, your first pack, your first posse, and its good looking back, the good old days, thought we had problems, we didnt know what problems were  =  something special about being green as grass, not having a clue,  just how tough life can be

mr cash wasnt lying when he said it behooves you to be prepared in life -  you come to these reunions and you see folk you havent seen since god knows when and you remember how it was back in the day, and you get warm and toasty w/memories the years have sweetened -  i remember trying to duck out of my aunts english class, and got into ms cleo jacksons class
but martha p. flowers didnt play that and came and took me out of that class by my ear - wasnt like i was getting a deal with ms cleojackson but at least she wasnt  my aunt   -   

i remember the day martin luther king died, and the next day invaders in the hall talking about turn the school out, i remember charging at the police and they charge back but they couldnt come on campus, cause hamilton ruled   -  we a destinied generation, a generation with a dream, a mission, we who have felt the heavy touch of destiny hand will never rest -  by the way of obama get the nomination his acceptance speech is aug 28th, the 45th anniversary of mlks i have a dream

speaking of dreams i hear that hamilton is not what it used to be, thats a shame, i remember when hamilton was the flagship of the system, and its decline feel sometime like life, you notice life dont glow like it used to, what happen to the dreams, the ambitions, the confidence we once had

o these are trying times, the older we get seem the more responsibilities we get, the more burdens we carry,   most everybody taking care of fragile parents these days – you are not alone, - got children turning into adults and desperately in need of guidance, guidance you don’t know you got to give, well look here kid I can show you how to fail, thats what I seem to do best

recently i did an assignment for one of my classes where i asked my students to write a bio of themselves as if 50 looking back, one student became a successful businessman, retired and ran for congress, retired and became a news host, one cured cancer and another banished poverty, all had happy families, 2.5 successful children and a white picket fence – all of them    

i said look here, i dont want to bust your bubble but what about the hard times, what about the losses, the dead children and crippling sicknesses, friends gone before their time, bankruptcies, setbacks and the day to day grind, i dont want to be the one tell you but life is hard, it aint for the weakminded, its full of trial, tribulation & regret, the blessing is to endure, to take punches you never imagined

but then you come to the reunion and for a minute its like we back in highschool
when we were young and vigorous and immortal and the world was ours for the taking

well we are no longer young, no longer vigorous, no longer immortal,  and we know now that dreams are often just dreams, and life is just so much more nuanced than you will ever grasp  -  somebody once said if you been disillusioned mean you had illusions in the 1st place      it behoove you to wake up

nice being young and vigorous, but young is also dumb, and its just as nice being mature and     smart   and wise    and wily   -  w/an understanding of life thats been paid for in the hard coin of experience,     i look back over my life and im satisfied         i got regrets, ive made some bad moves, ive often zigged when i should have zagged but thats life, funny as it seems, aint gon waste my time stepping on dreams   -    ive taken some blows, but im still here       i like who i am
 
and when the hardtime came made other men crawl, stood my ground like a natural man and it hasnt been easy      because into each life…    but god dont…    so the next time…    always

i can not imagine the trials and tribulations life gon throw on me, only certainty is that life will get imaginative on you,  come up with new ways to break you       but it take a lot to rock me these days, been through enough phases in life you know you win some you lose some, you keep on struggling,  you treasure the good moments, you endure the hard ones  - you do what you can when you can and the only thing fatal is giving up

and i would that you leave here this evening refreshed and regenerated and ready for this, the 3rd act of our lives – been tempered in the fire and ready for whatever life throw on you, serious about doing the best we can with the years we have left – we hear that clock ticking right, ticktock ticktock, no time left for the piddling and it is never too late to live out your best and greatest dreams -  if not now when

i would you this evening rededicate yourselves to the joy of life, to living lives full of meaning and significance, i would you be worthy hamiltonians -   this evening we have gathered in fellowship and a celebration of the oldschool     -     this evening i want you to check your troubles at the door – for in life weve found that the good times, when for the moment everything is right in your world, are fleeting and when they do come along, you treasure them     
this evening we gon let the oldschool wash all our troubles away, gon wash our troubles away

these reunions mean more than just reliving the good old days - they are also a celebration of who we are, how far weve come, how rocky the road,  how sweet the journey    and the value of lifelong friends, colleagues, companions, fellow travelers  -  mi companeros this evening we celebrate these lives that we have lived, the struggles, the heartbreaks and the triumphs  - this evening we celebrate those who have walked with us and are no longer here    but in spirit

this evening we celebrate the hamilton we knew, when being a hamiltonian meant something
this evening we celebrate ourselves as survivors – mighty mighty wildcats      

weve come a long way, you and i  weve climbed some difficult mountains      
but we still got so very far to go

i look forward to seeing you all again, twenty eighteen, do or die
that is all, this spell is done    gods blessings on us all

the hoodoo way: as tribal shaman i bear ultimate responsiblity for my peoples quality of life

SUNDAY  9:27 am super 8 on the road

delta bound, family family family and my 40th highschool reunion
supposed to be doing a presentation, will post it at some point

working those last 20 pages of novel, got me scared to death

all these years i could tell folk 'im working on it' - now its damn near
done and i wont have any excuses anymore, either it works or it dont

its so strange, the narration, masterpiece or farce, i just dont know

my brooklyn workshop, the only ones who have seen it really, pretty much
accept whatever i do at this point, which is probably not a good thing

had a new member come in recently

and she said somewhat perplexed, is this a draft, or just an outline
that kinda rocked me as you can imagine, messed w/my head

i explained, no, this is my style im trying to make work
ohwell - just keep on pushing rick, keep on stepping

im like hillary, dont know when to quit
hopefully not as delusional

hillary has really begun to bore me, her spin is totally delusional
now, something new everyday, im ahead by the popular vote

im ahead by electoral votes, im ahead if we count by republican winner
take all rules, yadda yadda, its clear that hillary dont care nothing bout

no rules, unless they work in her favor, or can be twisted somehow
and now everybody has to tiptoe around her so she and her die hards

arent alienated, all she doing is building resentments/divisions in the
democratic base that we will be generations paying for

theres a whole lot i can say about hillary but ima restrain myself and
just wait for her to get off the stage - just like everybody else

so barack has been adopted in the crow, barack black eagle
i love it, i just love it

what the hell is going on in south africa, god help me now what
this is an assault on my people from both ends, both the folk

getting assaulted and the folk doing the assaulting
one physical abuse, the other spiritual selfabuse

and the conjureman got to just sit here and take it

i once made an effort to organize afrospiritual practitioners so we
have true power to influence social dynamics like this

if only i could get the sangomas to fix this

first i have to convince them its our job to fix it, that any tribal dysfunction
is our responsibility, our failure, then i have to organize them to the ability

the capability of power on the ground
instead of only in the spirit

in closure some blessings for the folk in china and myanmar
when i think about how much it hurt losing that 1000 or so

to katrina, the loss of 50,000, 100,000 boggles the spirit
make you wonder sometime what god has in mind

but the earth doesnt really care about us, when it shifts in
search of its equilibrium, sometime people die

when the cosmos shifts in search of its equilibrium, planets die
thats why we need to get off the planet, spread out, increase the odds

earthquakes, tsunamis, novas and rogue asteroids, all we
can do is be prepared

gods blessings on the folk still struggling
one world

in struggle

rdoc




FRIDAY 6:32  am

okay, quick commentary, what impress me is the way
the energized black vote has put the deep south back into play

apparently black resentment of attempt to use obama as swiftboat
material played a large part in recent miss win, i can only hope

this energized black vote remains high for the duration
that would be a wonderful thing

also im noticing something else, i notice i dont go to
black agenda report anymore, feel like i know what glen

is going to say, samesame krugman, i have to check myself
a voice that become predictably partisan is a boring voice

i got to walk the border better,
or something, maintain

ima call it the magical eye
that hoodoo comprehension

of the whole, speaking of which
the afro-blues tradition

new work by nana kwame, one of my regulators
who apparently is a bluesman working in a shaman mode

im not clear, ima try to get more clarity on his vision
get back to you, i work that blues hoodoo fusion myself

i consider them both afrospiritual traditions
making a way out of no way

im outta here, good day yesterday
got to keep that momentum

all my love

rdoc




THURSDAY  5:54 am

so im working this morning right and i have this scene this movement i been wanting to
work into the text, where a young senator from illinois back in 2005 gets in touch w/the conjureman

for a reading on whether he should make a run for the us senate
highjohn throw the roots and note that its a crossroads moment etc etc

you got the drift of it, right

but everywhere i tried it in the text it didnt work but this morning not only did i just luck up on
the perfect spot for it but it made a previously weak scene strong, man that felt good

i got some commentary for you but will have to give it later today
right now im in the groove

all my love

rdoc



WEDNESDAY MORNING 5:45 am

hello world - gop use of obama to swiftboat democrat in miss fails
hilllary probably as disappointed as the repubs - sorry, couldnt help that 1

lets move to a higher plane:

i was reasonin wid rod jackmon over in comments
and i articulated something i need to follow through on

need to add to my official speculation, we was reasonin together about
mbeki and mugabe and i said

"i cannot fully express how much it upset me, in tribal shaman manifestation, when my people, for whose quality of life i bear ultimate responsibility, forced to live under  authoritarian conditions like some b grade nazi movie, i hate that w/a passion"

when i realize i had just said something i need to play with some
the bit about tribal shaman having ultimate responsiblity for the tribes quality of life

if folk suffering its cause i aint done whatever it is i was suppose to have done
some way or the other my game was slack, some factor i didnt take into consideration

some orchestration that was inadequate
need to work this understanding in both lifegame and rest for the weary

also im feeling a need to put my finger on the pulse in the hoodoo world
i been out of that loop for about 6 months now, even more if you count from

demise of the hoodoo way list
but when i titled this post with my tribal shaman bit

it came to me to precede it with the hoodoo way and i think about that
african american way i want to articulate in my work and how that is

encapsulated in my take on the hoodoo way
plus that i just miss reasonin w/my fellow hoodoos

sometime you got to withdraw from the arena
reassess, regenerate, come back new and improved

i believe this ultimate responsibility thread gon be part of that
improvement - i feel power in greater understanding of that

in strategic articulation

one benefit of rootsblog is im always working out my
evolving cosmology here - my afromology

but for right now, right, you guessed it
i got to clock some pages

i have been totally immersed in palf crises mode
restructured those last 40 pages last week, havent done a

lick of work on them since, got to redpen them now

just sit down w/the redpen and force march my way through it,
this is when it becomes real manuscript, this is the brutal redpen

subsequent redpens just cleanup and poetry, making it better
lets say a week redpen mornings, palf evenings

then i got to head for memphis, homework

all my love
rdoc

crossing the river: do or die

SUNDAY: 7:17am: all palf yesterday: ima take today for rest

quickies:

darfur rebels fight their way into khartoum, what is that about
have to put my finger on that pulse

i think obama should just give hillary florida and mich
wont change the numbers at this point

problem is it will give her new rationales to use
best wait till its a done deal and then be magnanimous

or she will use it to drag down the convention
as for vice presidency, bad idea

cant trust her and
clinton drama too big a price to pay

i predict webb or a woman

obama folk have to be magnanimous in victory
start reaching to disaffected hillary folk

cut back on my own hammering at her and hers
apologize to folk i may have offended

put it down to a slight dose of primary fever
this cartoon is my last dig (unless it get rough again)

im ready to do what it take to make it right

and blacks got to reach out to the hispanics, that relationship has gotten
real ticklish but finessing all this will call for a new political maturity on our part

this election has thrown the game into flux and we
got to leverage the social/political dynamics unleashed

so that we come out of it
a stronger people

one wonders how i can serve that destinywork using
rootsblog as a medium

i have to est rootsblog as the place
where the real deal analysis going down

and anybody want to be in the know
following rootsblog speculations

but how is this any diff from what i try to do period
what do i have to do to serve this function here

this moment and time in the historical flow

what do i have to talk about, what do i have to say
what issues, what goal/product, what tone

etc etc

okay i got to think about this one some more
something important lurking here but i dont have

time to worry it out just now
but i feel power in this one

im outta here

rdoc




SATURDAY  4:59am: 2 pages yesterday: good to go

need to hit while im hot, quick comment and im out of here

bush admin cremating dead soldiers from
iraq at delaware pet cemetary

callous or incompetent
take your pick

mcbush is going down
him and all his kin

not believing in government is a problem
in folk who want to govern you

by definition they cant do it right

promethus 8 joint:  found a young brothers account of an unwarranted stop and frisk in nyc

hillary tells superdelegates if they let her play it out she will play fair - then she make her hard working whitefolk comment

hillarys idea of fair dont leave a lot of room
but the delegates pretty much have to let her play it out

so as not to alienate her folk
so everything on hold while hillary

burning candles on barack

bummer about the folk in burma
gods blessings on us all

rdoc




FRIDAY noon: clocking pages

FRIDAY 9:16 am: still trying to get into the groove

there was something i wanted to say, some comment
o i remember now, zimbabwe, bad news, mugabe folk

killing and rampaging, this really distress me
so i just read, (netting instead of writing)

that mbeki has gone to zimbabwe to mediate
that was so farcical to me that i had to say so

w/accompanying photo of bobsey twins
fair warning: the conjureman do not approve

i was about to fling some curses on them
threaten to bring them both down (magically i suppose since i have no other power)

but my logical mind was saying embarrassing delusion,dont do it

not in public like that, what i do in fiction
well thats another matter

but i want to try something, start using rootsblog more
directly an instrument of my hoodoo vision

conduct myself more forthrightly the
force i conjure myself to be

i understand the self delusional nature of it
guess thats what magic is all about

sometime it amuse me how i post so religiously
on this blog, like it really count, like this is

literary time well spent, got to trust my literary
instinct on this one, ive never had an obsession

yet that didnt eventually become a contribution
just got to make it worth the time it consume

either its an instrument or it isnt, if its not
a manifestation of power, whats the point

in struggle

rdoc




FRIDAY: 220 am: novel this morning, nothing else

didnt get much work done yesterday, mostly palf and not
a lot of that, ohwell, some days are diamonds some . .

speaking of work, toni morrison interviewed by time mag readers, say folk who took her comment  about 1st black president to be in support of bill clinton

were misinformed she say, say she dont know who he is on the real side

she reflect colored dismay to realize bill just another good old boy w/a plantation mentality

hillarys latest narrative: "senator obama's support among working, hard-working americans, white americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me."

whoever knew, hillary clinton - dixiecrat

hillarys colored minions unable to break free
now find themselves on the wrong side of history

but we all know toni a runaway
toni dont play, not w/her mythwork

we knew toni would cross the river

babies and all

rdoc

-----------------------------

Do you regret referring to Bill Clinton as the first black President? —Justin Dews, Cambridge, Mass.
People misunderstood that phrase. I was deploring the way in which President Clinton was being treated, vis-à-vis the sex scandal that was surrounding him. I said he was being treated like a black on the street, already guilty, already a perp. I have no idea what his real instincts are, in terms of race.

Why did you endorse Barack Obama for the presidency? —Chris Francis Lightbourne, Long Island, N.Y.
I thought about voting for Hillary at the beginning. I don't care that she is a woman. I need more than that. Neither his race, his gender, her race or her gender was enough. I needed something else, and the something else was his wisdom.

-----------------------------

speaking of breaking free
6 hours novel today, do or die

rdoc

treading water

THURSDAY  3:45 am: palf killing my production
not a happy camper

read natreview article about racial polarization in campaign - article ask
why blacks can vote 90+ for obama and not be considered racist

while whites voting for clinton considered racist
i suspect it depend on what the call based on,

obamas call is based on trying to move beyond, clintons call is coded on exploiting racial resentment

kinda like reverend wright

if blackfolk were voting for rev wright in numbers then youd have a case - but they not, they voting for obama, they voting for a different way

one america ought to be encouraging
i sure am

the party concerned that some folk wont vote for obama in nov no matter what
others say the party cant proceed by appealing to diehard racists on their terms

as for monolithic black support it doesnt just happen, didnt happen for al, in fact
i believe the last recipient of big black support was bill clinton

it has happened here because of the quality of the vehicle, obama
the real thing - black or white, obama the real thing

folk keep talking about the whitefolk he dont got
while overlooking all the ones he do

in november we will lose the racists but we will gain the independents
id rather have the independents than the racists on my side anyway

make us stronger to dump them - make our
policies and compromises wiser

and while i will assume that i will have troubles w/obamas policy positions
and that there will be times that his policies will break my leftwing heart

i take him to be a sincere good man capable of growing into the job and if the quality
of his campaign vs clintons is any indication, a damn good organizer

competency - just what we need after 8 years of bush
that he black just a little icing on the cake

btw: if obama is nominated, his acceptance speech will be aug 28th
the 45th anniversary of kings i have a dream speech - deep

im gone, got to get some palf letters out

get that out of the way i can clock some pages
or should i clock the pages 1st - letters kinda critical

do the letters, get
them off my plate

not a happy camper

rdoc




WEDNESDAY 2:00 am: another day another paragraph

way to go obama, took north carolina, lost indiana by no
more than can be accounted for by mischievous republicans

also good news the louisiana dem the repubs targeted
by linking him to obama won his race too - cool

i expect to see movement by superdelegates
trying to put this puppy to bed, but then again

been there done that, lets
see what the clintons try next

this been a helluva ride hasnt it
and we assume its only just begun

may the gods be good to us

rdoc




TUESDAY  10:31 am: disaster, been kicked
back into yesterdays page,

got to work my way back to todays page
got to move forward at least a page a day, at least

40 pages thats 40 days, 1st half of the summer
can use the 2nd half polishing

btw: i was thinking, if obama doesnt get knocked out of the box today - then this tempering by clinton will have been beneficial, because

those folk he courting now are the folk he will have to court
in november, hillary has run the gamut on him

if he survive tuesday he will be better prepared
for what the real dogs of the earth gon throw at him

hows that for a positive read
im gone - yesterdays page

can you believe that - what a
revolting development this is



TUESDAY  9:17 am: clocking words
about a paragraph worth, so far so good



TUESDAY  6:58 am

well here i am again, sitting at the sacred desk and struggling w/the page
you keep hoping you will reach a point where you just coasting

but every morning its the same old thing, a big narrative mess that you got to wade through, trying to make it work

mostly what im doing now is moving segments around, trying to make it work - and struggling with that last 40 pages endgame

struggled all day yesterday - i mean struggled, it was a rough day really rough - got about a page done, which is cool, basically thats a good day,

actually thats a very good day, but not for a man as desperate as me

mostly im longhanding those last 40 pages, 1 down 39 to go - two pages would have been more wonderful more really really wonderful

but instead of struggling with the page all day all day all day

i gave the evening to palf - buddy of mine chastize me about that the other day,
say they would have said no, i explained to them im of the line of o killens

ima organizer, a literary organizer, like john o killens taught me - could no
more pass on palf than paul robeson could, langston, zora, ishmael or babajohn

organizing/empowering writers of african descent around the world
building a global an afroworld literary infrastructure(s) - be still my beating hearrt

as you may know i think writers and literature one of the most powerful forces on
the planet - unto each an army - i love organizing them, empowering them

i love building blackworld infrastructures
that come under heading: the good life

im just thankful jeff ask me to play a role
good longgame is intoxicating to old player like me

i still got it, still capable of answering when the warhorn call, still got a good campaign
or two left in me, just hope palf can deal w/my prima donna ways,

jeff, mohammed and jp, they young, they can afford
to sacrfice a project, i cannot, not at this point

literary organizers, you figure over a lifetime they have
sacrificed at least one major project that could have been

a lifetime of struggle as a literary organizer has cost me
i figure at least one novel, got no more to give

i hear that clock ticking - these youngsters they
dont have the faintest idea what im talking about

tick tock - got to use my remaining time my
dwindling energy wisely

told jeff it would be mornings/afternoons rest for the weary
afternoons/evenings palf

rdoc

doing what i can

a luta continua

gotta go

working day hasnt even started
and im already tired




MONDAY

hello worlld, not much to say today, lets start w/a
useful article, 100 driving tips for saving gas

save you more than that holiday tax, okay

artist zenobia bailey, knitting and crochet, those
her pieces, like afrospiritual mandalas

ima feature her work this week in gallery de rootsblog

that might be it for today, stepping back from the primary
i keep ranting, frothing over hillary or wright, whatever

then somebody like adam banks embarrass me with
the more measured approach befitting a conjureman

got to keep my magical perspective
cant be wallowing about in the mud

caught up in the passions of the moment
what kinda hoodoo is that

finally started working novel this morning, been spinning
my wheels last couple of days, then i realize

i got that woodshed entry fear, that fear that this effort will
fail, and it will be proven once and finally

for all that im not the writer i always hoped id be
that i just dont have a big novel in me

that can be crippling if i let it - just articulating it send shivers down my
spine - accept the fear rick, and ignore it, just

concentrate on putting the hours in, 6 to 9 hours a day keep the
blues away (then i can do palf - no novel no palf)

but when you start an effort like this you by definition in a failure mode

you starting from a dead stop and you got no momentum no juice
and all you can see is day after day of challenge and disciplilne and all

you got to show is pages and pages of last draft manuscript that aint working
now and the challenge gon be making it work and you full of despair

but you just ignore that too - moneydraft do or die - masterpiece or
farce this novel getting done, gon show them all

rickydoc been down, folk think i been
bullshitting, folk have writ me off in

the literary world, i will
show them all

i am rickydoc flowers

wouldbe novelist of historical
stature and significance

my will be done