MONDAY
excuse me dear regulators, i need to stash this clip somewhere for a couple of days
while i dig into gil scotts 1980 album, indulge me:
also shut em down
a couple of days, i need to listen to these over and over while i work on this assignment
deadline next week so this wont be but a minute
i ask your indulgence, trying to cut some paper
rdoc
SUNDAY
wow, has it been that long since ive posted, no wonder my numbers falling
guess it just bes that way sometime cause im doing catch up
one novel down, 5 to go
some quick commentary, just to get back into the game
obamas war w/fox: long overdue but not going well, when all the news is about the
foolishness of the tactic instead of focusing on foxs transgressions youve lost that one
the public option: looks good, looks like we will get some kind of option, perhaps even a robust
one but now is not the time to kick back, got to keep the pressure on wavering congress
according to this huff post article the person need some backbone is obama, seems he wavering on the public option, just when we got some traction, too often we have to drag him kicking and whimpering, to to the right or rather the left or should i say progressive thing
anna quindlen has an atricle in newsweek entitled Hope Springs Eternal assessing obamas 1st year and the disappointment he been to us, she say he is not the populist we hoped he was, would be, he is by nature a concilitator and so is government dynamics, say the only way government really moves is when the people force it to:
"So if the American people want the president to be more like the Barack Obama they elected, maybe they should start acting more like the voters who elected him, who forcibly and undeniably moved the political establishment to where it didn't want to go. After all, in our system, even great, audacious change is never as audacious as it seems: calls for a national health-care system can be traced all the way back to Roosevelt—Teddy Roosevelt, in 1912. When Sen. Olympia Snowe, Republican of Maine, broke with her party to vote a health-care bill out of committee, she said, "When history calls, history calls." And it's not asking for baby steps."
let me see, what else, can you tell my heart is not really in this, i need to clcok some pages
and get thru another manuscript, i have got to get these off my plate before the end of the year
if something else comes to mind while im working thru my day so be it
otherwise, im gone
let me leave you with this sand painting by illana yahav, youve got a friend
rdoc
MONDAY
so been thinking about pulling back from fb (and this blog) but everytime i do fb
come thru with a new blessing, had made a comment recently on prezident browns
fan page, next thing i know i get a request for friendship from prezident brown, this
floors me because prezident brown is one of my fav reggae folk ever, got this piece
call dem lose again that renew me in struggle whenever i play it, ran across a cd of his
some years ago, to jah only, and hunted down everything of his i could find
now we been reasoning together, a fellow traveler and keeper of the faith, old boy count
that as a blessing in life, musicians i respect pretty much the only folk i bow to
guess ima hang - no retreat no surrender
SUNDAY
panic day, havent done any work fri or sat, today is do or die, still working on john henry segment
been listening to nothing but john henry songs for the last week or so, got john henry on the brain
time for me to roll, get this done
last post had me thinking about students, both at the cuse and in the tradition,
thinking how much i need them, wasnt helping young writers be writers i wouldnt know what to do w/myself
to get paid for it is magical
what worth a mystic w/o students
got the spiritworld manifesting real -
metafictional leakage
life at its best
in the tradition im of the line of o killens, its a longgame line
nothing but the chosen
at the cuse we choose 6 of about 300+ applicants, nothing but the strong
folk with potential of being true force, of being better than we are
keep that one step ahead the teacher want to stay current maintain
how else provide legitimate and viable guidance
dealing with young guns year after year keep you nimble, keep you growing
thats what its all about, right, growing, you get comfortable that mean its over
your run is done
i love my students, both at the cuse and in the tradition
they make me whole
at this point in my life their success as important to me as my own
(well, damn near)
this post has begun to embarrass me, as you know, dear
regulators, i been thinking about pulling back
been exposing much too much i mans soul lately
what happen with this blogging thing is you constantly escalating, digging
deeper, hopefully growing in power, working off whats come before and
reaching for richer expression of whatever it is you selling
w/a literary blog its
yourself mostly
whatever - im out
rdoc
SATURDAY
hello world
(to get full effect of this post, hit link now and let music play in background while reading - trust me)
been feeling a little self conscious last couple of days, think i been being a little too exposed maybe
thinking i should draw back on posting and facebooking and all that, cut off my afterburners maybe
the iching says that there are two ways of influencing human destiny for the superior personality
affecting policy at the court (of pubic opinion) and withdrawal to work on yourself as a model of the future
i translate that as an alternating spiral of being out in the arena, making your vision manifest
and withdrawal to renew and refresh to reassess and regenerate, to give it a rest sometime
personally sometime i get to wolfing and stepping out there boldly, then i get selfconscious and feeling
like i need to be more modest and show a little more humility or something, a little less me me me me me
all this yak yak and no book out in almost a decade make me feel funny about myself
like im all talk and no work, no real
but this blog as a 21st century literary form is all me me me me me
and i seem to be good at it and im very conscious of using it as an instrument
destiny work - i got a plan and im generating words and thats always good
but there are times when i feel like drawing back and i believe im feeling that right along here
but the problem is i got a constituency and whenever i draw back i can see my numbers dropping and that
distress me - ah temptation come in so many guises - we shall see
what brought me out my cave this morning is that im finally kinda caught up w/my schoolhouse work
as much as one ever is, still got googabs of manuscripts to get thru, but official classwork caught up
got a couple of days i can give to my own
ran across this selection of cuts from gil scott herons new album coming out in a couple of months
its some powerful stuff, you can hear the dues he has paid in his ravaged voice but his soul has grown
deep through struggle, some haunting work, im surprised he still got the chops,
make you almost feel like its been a decent tradeoff for an artist
but i got to assume he would be even stronger if he had not walked down that path
ive had young trainees flirt w/that path and everytime i run across it it break my heart
and i be using gil scott as an example of how it can destroy a great talent
saying look what it did to gil scot, it took his health, it took his talent, it took his art
i think of ethridge knight and other folk i have loved got lost on that path, great artists who did powerful work while they were on the scene but their potential was surely cut down in their prime
folk like jimi and janis
once read a book about writers and all the things in life that cripple their lifetime output, drugs, politics, sex, etc, all the good things in life - everything in moderation i guess
i am moved by gil scott still putting out powerful work, if anything possibly more powerful
than the work of his youth and chagrined that it messes w/my argument, an argument i will
continue to make, for all the love i got for gil scott and his work, i wish to god he had been able
to step off that path,
i say the same for my young trainees thats tempted to fuck around,
folk w/all the talent in the world, all the potential in
the world to be truevoice, dont put your work your talent in hock to the devil
you just dont know what it will cost, you have no idea - i pray to all the gods of artists thats ever been that
you
step aside
i believe in you, i need you to believe in you too
in struggle
rdoc
BUFFALO SOLDIER, LISTEN TO ME BuffaloSoldier salutes George W. Bush. No, not THAT George Bush. I'm relieved those thoughts of quitting were just idle musings, SoulDoctor. Whew. In the words of Bill Cosby, "Don't do that." Anyway, I read another post and thought it important to be clear about BuffaloSoldier. The Soldiers' history is indeed storied. But the men themselves were conflicted.
(As would anyone be coming from 'prison camps and slavery') These were not Gene Autry and Roy Rogers, heroes that sing. These were men who knew they were pitted against other nonwhites but had few options. There's a scene in the wonderful Buck and The Preacher, where Buck beseeches the "Indians" for help, and the Chief angrily reminds him his people fought with the "white-eyes"
Our history here is storied right now. And History has recruited us (drafted us?) into being
the modern version of the Soldier. Far removed from heroes that sing. I'm the conflicted BuffaloSoldier and I approve this message.
Posted by: BuffaloSoldier | October 21, 2009 at 06:18 PM