chengda report

FRIDAY

going to a monastery tomorrow thats on top of a mountain, spose to be spectacular
hopefully it will give me some inspiration because this holybook project is seriously frustrating me

bad boy been humbling me

one thing that’s becoming clear to me is that this divination structure im working will not be enough
to inspire generations upon generations to live and die by it, need stories for that, sacred stories

esoterics and good advice will not be enough to move folk from the established religions to adopt this Way,
I got to do some serious biblic quality storytelling to inspire that kind of devotion - which is kinda cool

an interesting craft challenge for a mystically inclined writer such as myself,
i look at it as a creative nonfiction project, divine storytelling, sacred history

this is in addition to being a better Way - that ive already figured out, a new way has to be a better way than the ways it would supplant, if I want this way to be competitive with other global traditions that are already mature, insitutionalized, and devoteed - its got to be a better Way

its got to be better than christanity, better than islam, better than
buddhism, hinduism, et al, its got to be a greater Way

the reason the african way of god has been supplanted all over africa is because its archaic
christanity and islam are better ways - for instance when islam conquered north africa,

mohammed bis saif, mohammed by the sword,

the mossi calvary actually fought off the islamic hordes, but then many mossi chose to convert
because in the mossi tradition nobles had rights to use commoners wives as they saw fit

then you got stuff like animal sacrifice, etc etc - the african way of god has to be brought up to date,
enlightened & illluminated -thats why im positioning hoodoo as the prophetic tradition of the atr family

(also because the prophetic is the power position, & lord knows ima power freak - but then what wouldbe
prophet aint, telling whole cultures do what i say and your generations will thrive, ignore me and they will suffer) 

my basic position is if a culture is weak its because its spiritual tradition is weak, the
judgment of a good tradition is the quality of life of its adherent culture and believers

and wherever in the world you got blackfolk they are on the bottom of their respective societies, at the sametime
i got to move beyond tribalism into universalism, got to serve both my families, blackfolk & all humanity

got to be a better Way, thats a given, but in terms of delivery, its got to be some damn good storytelling, that sacred storytelling - so ive moved the storysection up a notch, because I got to get to the sacred storytelling as aoon as possible, whole thing got to be shaped thru sacred narrative

also im being seriously humbled when I think of the bible, koran, vedas, ifa, iching, etc - based on what im coming up with I don’t know that I am capable of that kind of luminousity – previous drafts of this book have failed on that point

and when I compare what im doing to the sacred tarot by the brotherhood of life, another influential work,
my esoteric knowledge is not up to stuff either - man, im just being hammered with my inadequacies

I keep reminding myself its an earlydraft rick, earlydrafts are never
good, just keep plugging away, maybe I will grow unto the task

I need to lower my sights and just write a good spiritual work, basic creative nonfiction, but ive never been able to lower my sights - that damned, or rather that blessed novel took me almost 20 years because it had to be a masterpiece, couldnt just be a good novel, had to be a masterpiece

so ofen in the literary world, consciously going for a masterpiece cause you to overwrite and blow it, but dammit joyce did it, chamoiseau and marquez did it, they went for masterpieces and they created masterpieces, ima try too, and i will accept whatever I get, if i blow it i blow it, damn if i aint gon try

right now HBOF feels like trash, but that novel felt like trash up till about 3 years ago when after 15 years of effort it finally started working - so ima keep my ambitions high for this work but im kinda discouraged it will make the cut - in my heart ive lost faith but that dont mean you put the effort down

feel like one of those reach for the sun, accept the moon kind of efforts,
cept in this case, its reach for the sun and cant get out the mud

one other point, im designing this work to be transmedia, found out thats the word for what I want to do w/my Works, a work that is a printwork and an app and/or whatever - not just an ebook but an interactive app, transmediawork, I want all my works to be transmedia from now on, 21^st century stylee

right now this my structure, been working it all week and mostly just giving up on making it ‘right’, I just got to kinda work with what I got and let it work itself out in the doing, I had a 81 movement structure (9x9) but it was just too unwieldy

1M  INITIATION                                          
1)   CONDITION                             18)  ADVERSITY                              35)  MINISTRY
2)   CONSCIOUSNESS                  18)  RESILIANCE                             
3)   TRIAL & TRIB                           20)  GROWTH                                   6M DESTINYWORK
4)   WILL                                         21)  VICTORY                                   36)  VISION
5)   ACTION                                                                                              37)  WISDOM
6)   MANIFESTATION                     4M  EMPOWERMENT                      38)  CONJURATION
7)   TRANSFORMATION                22)  MOJO                                         39)  JOURNEYS
                                                        23)  STRATEGY                                40)  SIGNIFICANCE
2M  LIFEWORK                              24)  DESTINYWORK                        41)  STEWARDSHIP 
8)   YOUTH                                     25)  ALLIANCE                                  42)  IMMORTALITY
9)   EDUCATION                             26)  INSTITUTIONALIZATION                
10)  WORK                                      27)  POWER                                       7M IRIE GRACE
11)  LOVE                                        28)  LONGGAME                              43)  SERENITY
12)  FAMILY                                                                                               44)  ILLUMINATION
13)  MATURITY                             5M  SERVICE                                      45)  MASTERY
14)  AGING                                      29)  CUSTODIANSHIP                     46)  HOLYGROUND  
                                                         30)  EMPOWERMENT                     47)  GRACE
3M  THE CHANGES                        31)  LEADERSHIP                           48)   FA   
15)  DEATH                                      32)  SACRIFICE                               49)  GODHOOD
16)  CROSSROADS                        33)  GUIDANCE
17)  HEALTH                                    34)  HEALING

this my current breakdown, who knows what it will be tomorrow

then under each movement I got 7 segments -  1) progressions, 2) representatives/haints - an afroam pantheon, for instance harriet tubman, the great conductor, for 39: journeys - o great conductor, she who never lost a passenger, see me safely home - 3) story/hist, 4) the tradition, 5) longgame, 6) illuminations, and 7) thegeasofrickydoc

i actually prefer 9 point structures because 9 a more hoodoo specific number but
that 81 movements was killing me - the puzzle became too complex for me

what im seeing now is that the stories I tell under story/hist and longgame have to be serious
biblic quality sacred storytelling, a coherent sacred narrative like the old and new testaments

sacred narratives is where folk live and breath when it come to holyworks

one of the major challenges im working with is that I got a different relationship with god than those early guys did, they didn’t know what they were talking about, that tribal god made in our own image bit

thats a primitive, silly interp of god, modern folk who have studied the formative dynamics of religion know thats not enlightened - problem is thats the kind of god humans comfortable with - but its not enlightened

folk know in their hearts that god is not some great bearded patriarch sitting on a golden throne in heaven, or olympus, or wherever, and you dont get no 30 virgins when you die - please, spare me -

folk quick to call other folks religious mythologies false but their own they will kill for
I got to be a better Way – I tell you this project more than a notion, im just as lost as I can be

my hope is that even if i fail to hang w/the other historical masters it will still be a uniquely powerful product

either way doesnt matter, ima keep struggling with it, and have faith that god the universe is going to look
out for me, that god the universe is ready for a different relationship with humanity, im just an instrument

im outta here, i got so much work to do, id say a good decade (hopefully not 2) of work, right now all i want
is a full draft before the fall semester starts - i just hope i dont die or am otherwise incapcitated before im done

when you a longgame player, every project is a negotiation w/god
just give me this one more book, lord - then i will be satisfied

finishing my novel was a burden off my soul
if i die tomorrow ima shrug & count my blessings

but 10 more productive years and im good to go

to a certain extent i got to withdraw from the world
im in a race against time - tick tock

my works are consciously designed to evolve w/time
as a longgame player time is my primary canvas

the industry dissing me because my work read strange in my own time, but hopefully
future generations will be like damn flowers, you wrote the hell out that one

all my love

rdoc

 

THURSDAY

man im tired, between class prep and struggling w/my holybook im wore out
finished latest draft of novel last week & sent it to agent to go back on the market

so now im trying to get a draft of my holybook, the hoodoo book of flowers
a divination structure, a la iching and/or ifa and its kicking my ass

i literally have about 700 pages of notes from previous drafts, et al
and trying to work up a 49 (7x7) movement structure to string them on,

and its just a big mess, i had planned to work it this sabbatical but when Rest kept getting rejected
i kept hitting it again and again to make it stronger, which was a blessing, because it is stronger

which is probably the most important thing in my life and legacy right now, my wouldbe masterpiece, but now its time
to focus on this 20 year effort holybook, ive done drafts based on biblic and koranic formats that did not work

now im using a divination format, which so far is not working either, much less being luminous
but i dont have any choice but to keep struggling w/it, been dreaming of this holybook for 20 years now

the hoodoo book of flowers: the great black book of generations, if i dont do it now when will i
i can hear the clock ticking tick tock, dont have but so much more functional time on the planet

i want to write an african american sacred text, built on african american history, culture and destiny, an afroam
worldview, in a holybook that will stand w/the bible, the koran, the iching, the ifa corpus, the hindu texts, etc etc

so i guess i shouldnt be complaining that its difficult, if it was easy anybody could do it, i fear the final
product will be a shallow farce thats not competitive w/the classics but that wont stop me from trying

when i leave china a month from now i want a draft, rough and ugly it may be i want a draft
last week i bought this laotse bronze that spoke to me for inspiration, one of my fellow travelers

i want to hang with him & jesus & mohammed & buddha & them - i know i know, lacking
in humility - what can i say, win or lose ima go for it, but thats what i like about being a writer

my novel, rest for the weary, is about a hoodoo sorceror who aspires to be a prophet - working on a
holybook - are you surprised - o wouldbe prophet of the hoodoo way - a visionary trained in the line of o killens

in the novel he fails, just as i have to date, but its failure make the best stories dont you think
and holybooks are strictly longgame, the judgement wont be in for generations upon generations

all i got to do is write it, im not going to worry about how its received - holybook and/or novel its all good
as it is my novel just a different type of holybook, either i succed or i write about failing - either way i

get product - either way i win

all my love

rdoc

 

TUESDAY




okay, didnt realize i could still do this - i have been locked out of fb, twitter and gmail
and my internet connections real real spotty, i assumed typepad was down too

i had fb for a minute, then i started talking about my experience and boom i didnt have it
twitter and gmail have not had period - ima mispell names in case in tripping monitoring software

let me say though, that i been having a ball, a natural born ball, 1st time theyve done it here in chengda (sp)

so there have been glitches, 1st they put us in this hourly motel type hotel w/toilets where you squat over a hole in the floor, that didnt work, wasnt even no handlebars for a brother, i was telling one of the women

professors that you really had to have your aim together, she said at least youve had practice, one dude
from newyork here w/his wife turned around and left with the quickness, other professors threatened to -

so they moved us into a much nicer hotel, my students are cool, students from area getting
summer school creds for schools back in the states, even got one from the cuse

every weekend they take us on some kind of cultural excursion, last weekend we did the wensha(sp)
monastery, the schischan(sp) opera - etc, i had heard whensha had good vegetarian meals so i

asked my TA to take me back during lunch, sun, we went & wandered around looking for the restaurant and
mr clueless wandered into the restricted area where monks and believers eat, so im sitting there in this

cafeteria by myself and suddenly it was inundated with monks and believers, they commence to chanting
and i commence to chanting along with them, 30 mins or so, i enjoyed the chanting as much as i did the food

best meal ive had incountry, broccoli even, my favorite vegetable, and very cool monasterial ambiance

my TAs werent allowed in but nobody threw me out, cause i was already sitting there when it started and couldnt speak chinese so nobody could tell me i wasnt supposed to be there, so they decided buddhanature let me stay,

everybody was really nice to me, indulgent and helpful when it became clear i didnt know
what i was doing they brought me bowls, even brought me a spoon when i

fumbled the chopsticks, the monks kept smiling at me, so did most of the believers
found out later my TAs told them i was a buddhist but i dont think we fooled anybody

apparently this part of the country they dont get a lot of tourists so i dont know that theyve seen many black
folk before, everywhere i go i get stared at and the children (like these two) think im some kind of

walking entertainment system, ive had googabs of folk ask to take a picture with me and i ham it up for
them, people has been very friendly for the most part and then there some dont quite know what to

do with me, i smile at everybody, even the ones that are just staring - most when i smile at them they
break out laughing and smiling and waving, only had one bad experience where i realize dude was

laughing at me rather than smiling with me, the giveaway was when he
yelled something about "the jungle", i believe they was chinese rude boys

i believe ima close down shop, im tired, i been riding buses all around the city all evening
trying to figure out the bus system so i can get around w/o having to pantomine w/the taxis

figured out how to get to whensha monastery on my own today, now i got to figure out jinla
and wide/narrow street, we going to some monastery on qimchi mountain this weekend

ima keep mispelling names and being kinda obscure, being locked out of fb was a wakeup call, dont want
to get locked down any further - some of my collegues were like you can get around that by such and such

and im like no thankyou, i dont want to be playing cat and mouse w/these folk, a month and a half a long time to go without internet, and i might want to come back, dont want to get on no blacklist - im laying low

some of the writers im teaching in my litclass a little more political than im comfortable with but
i couldnt help myself, you know how i feel about literature, if it aint trueforce whats the point

fb is not important to me, literature is

teaching forches 'the colonel' today - carefully

all my love

rdoc

 

 

Comments

[Karen Simpson]

Sounds like a wonderful trip. Thanks for the update !!