THURSDAY MORNING 6:05 am
okay flowers, 3 solid days of novelwork, its all good
but today is a new day - what have you done for me lately
lets do it again my brother, one more day my brother
god help me, lets meet the beast
rdoc
WEDNESDAY NOON
im clocking pages
its all good
a moment of silence please for ousmane sembene
sengealese novelist and filmmaker who graduated recently into tribal ancestorship
african world ancestorship
global ancestorship
most ancestors they personal icons, family forces - some become tribal, icons of the tribe
and some become global ancestors, the whole world respect them, learn from them, model them
thats what i aspire to
global ancestorship
saw his movie moondlat(?) just a couple of weeks ago and was
once again impressed with what he do
ive always found his movies longwinded and heavyhanded myself
powerful and impressive but hard to sit thru -
but i was reading an account yesterday
of why he went into film from fiction
and he say a film he can take it to the most remote village and they can relate,
he say in film he speak to them all in a language they understand
and i could see how moodlat would speak poewrfully to villagers on its genital cutting issue
in a way fiction could not, fiction has a rarified audience
whereas film the way sembene practice is like
stories around the tribal fire
contemporary fiction been trying to finesse primacy of film in culture today
and this was one of the most provocative cases ive heard made for films utility
and i understood what struck me as problematic about his films a was not only 1) a western aeshetic on my part which was not news to me, but also that 2) one of his primary goals was to talk to the people
and his films did that for him, heavyhanded and didactic as they are - and i am even
more impressed with him and how he took care of his business - his ideological orchestration
my brother in struggle
good looking out brother sembene
good looking out
rdoc
TUESDAY NIGHT
hello world, good day today, id say i clocked a 9 hour day today
caught up some of that backlog, i feel good today
started this woodshed phase w/a 4 page a day count but wasnt getting but 2 average - so thats the count now, 2 a day still get me to the promiseland by early august sometime, w/a couple weeks cleanup before schoolhouse
4 a day would have got me to the promiseland by late june and
given me a month for a good redpen draft but i will take what i can get
you see how ive tricked myself here, same 4 pages but before
when i was trying for 4 a day and failing i was discouraging myself
now that im only going for 2 a day if i get 4 i feel good, im ahead
and its easier to meet the page, easier to sit down and struggle with it
cause im confident of getting 2 measely pages, even crawling i can get 2, i can fuck off half the day and still get 2, just sit there and stare at the page i can get 2
then by the time i get 2 im in the groove and going for 4
today i clocked 4 pages, that mean i did some catchup
must have been those prayers, good looking out
found this site on african divination arts
from a met musuem exhibit, so cool i hunted down a used copy of the catalog
i been throwing my new divination chain daily but im kinda discouraged
i would like the kinda complexity tarot has but w/these
mathematically based systems all the complexity is
in the text, just throwing w/o textual reference becomes boring - lacking in nuance
and you know i like nuance, what i like about ifa and iching is that they are spiritual systems manifested thru the act of divination - thats more my goal than a divination system per se
will have to work on hoodoo book of flowers on days im caught up (days i got my 4 excuse me i mean 2) rest for the weary pages and got a little downtime - nice to get a draft of that done this summer too, money draft of rest, working draft of the hoodoo book of flowers, that be a good strong woodshed
couple of quick comments and im out of here
1) bushadmin, giving up on surge, talking about a south korean model now
ie, the permanent occupation of iraq - if he had come up with this before the surge he
would have had a shot but american people wont stand for it now - they just want out now
2) will you look at that, palestinians doing exactly what israel and the us wanted them to
fight each other, like puppets on a string - what if fatah lose, what then
hamas in control of gaza, fatah in control of the west bank, al qaida in the wings - what now
3) pressure by hollywood types threatening to pull out of olympics 2008
seems to be effective pressure on chinese support of the sudan
dont think much of new un deal, been too many come to naught, and the sudans insistence on african union troops is insult added to injury, they figure the african union just window dressing they can walk over
will put my finger on that pulse, see whats happening, let you know
look here, im not feeling this, i got to go
if i can clock 4 pages today i will be caught up on rest
keep those prayers coming
my love to you all
rdoc
MONDAY
hello world, im sitting here at the sacred desk so afraid i can barely breathe
i have had 3 days in which i did no work, had the time, just didnt work, tried, just didnt
now im sitting here and i got the whole day to use or throw away- got to work, or judge myself not serious
had all kind of reminders this week of how little valued i am in literary circles
decided this morning to do me a wikipedia entry, since nobody else wil
but you know i cant do that straight, gon be very irreverent, very tongue in cheek
about a minor literary footnote, arthur flowers - probably work it out here
on rootsblog - i think ima enjoy it but its actually kinda sad i got to do this
i tell you i am so tired of this phase, i just cant stand it no more
i really cant, i just cant
dont think about all you got to do rick, just do today, 6 hour day today, minimum
saw a student of mine yesterday, asked her how her novel was coming
i got about 8 folk supposed to be summer woodshedding their novels
i see now i got to check up on them
she say she put it down, said it was making her feel bad - im just shocked
you what? i say a good novel supposed to cost you emotionally, thats what give it power
she say she didnt feel like writing when she felt bad, say she got writers block
im appalled, i say what does how you feel got to do with getting your work done
she say its hard and that was it for me, im spluttering now
you think you the only one its hard for - its hard for me, its hard for everybody
o i fussed and i fussed and i fussed, cause its the one thing
that separate the writers from the pretenders
real writers learn you got to get your work done, hook or crook, no matter what
feel good feel bad, dont matter, you sit down and you struggle to write - everyday
you sit there and you struggle with the page and you expect it to cost you
and you expect to crawl along at a frustrating snailspace
and you expect it to wear you out, to wear you down, but you sit there anyway, everyday
you can beg borrow or steal and you struggle with that page no matter what
and its a real struggle when you young but by the time you my age its a habit
just hang in there & it will become a habit (i got to remember how hard it was back then)
and you dont get it everyday, life constantly taking its pound of flesh, time and focus
but you try, with all your heart and soul you try, you steal those hours, you chain yourself
to your dreams and you sit there and you try and you know you supposed to do that
everyday and days you dont do it you feel like you wasted that day -
i dont know that i got through to her
i dont think i did
wanted to tell her to read my blog cause thats what i call myself doing with this ongoing account
of my struggle to get my work done, modeling for young writers to understand its a struggle
an ongoing struggle, a struggle you got to win
you want to write a novel, cool, i will walk you thru it
just note what i say and do what i do
sitting here right now struggling to write
struggling not to get up and do something else
(or sit here and do something else like im doing now)
and i think of her saying its hard - like thats a reason not to do it
and i just dont know what to say to that
no shit sherlock
im outta here
i really really got to meet the beast today
else im just gon die, just lay down and die
rdoc
SUNDAY
hello world, some new and old images from my lodgebrother bob gates this week
went to an opening of his saturday and he was talking about how he really likes the people in relationship to unortho environment pieces that force us to see differently, that force us into other dimensions
but he say a show of only that wouldnt sell - other folk like the nature ones, which they consider pretty and he consider exploration in abstraction
including me i have to say, fell in love with this one, it bring me peace, anything that sooth my restless soul i like
anything that keep me from frothing at the mouth as i sometime do
folk frothing lately about paris hilton as an example of celebrity justice
but there is a quality of pettiness about cutting paris down to size
i dont get no satisfaction from it
and it dont affect the State - ie sidegame - the true case of celebrity justice is on
the other side of the continent - let me reprise the case
black judge hard on street thugs is appointed by bush to be federal judge
because of his harsh reputation as a law and order judge -this appeals to bush
one of his vaunted black neocons (but perhaps a little more complex than bush ready for)
same judge convicts libby, says sees no value in appeal, let him start his sentence right away
first irony: bushs partisan abuse of the judiciary returns to bite him you know where
i hope the judge makes scooter start his prison sentence right away so
bush will be faced with this clamor from the right to pardon him
thats the kinda no win situation i like to see bush in - dont give him the option
of waiting till he ready to leave, make him do it now when it will hurt
now we have testimonials by all these highpowered legal types
saying that the judge ought to slide they boy libby some slack
now aint this nothing
we really talking celebrity justice now, forget traffic violations by the young and empty - what about functionaries protecting constitutional violations by the old & venal
libby decided to fall on his sword to protect cheney
dont be whimpering cause it hurt
seems harvards dershowitz is one of the defenders, boy kinda busy these days, defending poor libby
and denying folk tenure it appears, reading about recent conflict between him and this guy finkelstein
end up with finkelstein being denied tenure at de paul
that was fighting kinda dirty, deny him livelihood
i dont know anything about the particulars so i cant testify
but it feels oily
was telling a friend of mine just the other day
telling her i had positions neither the left nor the right care for
but it was cool because i got tenure and a living wage
so i say what i damn well please in my work (and this blog)
its so liberating to know i dont have to worry about the marketplace
when im working on my novel, i dont care if it sells, i just want it to exist
aint got no support to lose no way - and the few folk who do love me (& my work)
love me precisely because i am out there on a limb - for them
(course dean newton did send me to this seminar for select su employees on dealing with the media - make sure arthur dont wander too far off the reservation i suppose - they like me maintaining a highprofile, its in my contract - but im aware when theyd rather i not dance - i may dance anyway but i pride myself on my sophistication, i know when im dancing on the line)
so anyway this article was taking a position in favor of finkelstein
and i thought this boy jensen made some good points on the responsibilities
of intellectuals and academics to show some courage sometime
there are times when i am afraid to say something i know to be true
because i know the powers that be will frown upon me, maybe vote against me
for that guggenheim or something - that mcarthur i been waiting for
blacks and jews and the militant left only opinions i really care about, whose sacred cows i sometime sunder because i care, they the ones be trying to constrain me in my analysis, make me say what i dont believe
let me run right quick what my 3 constituencies dont want to hear:
blackfolk; our problems mostly our own doing, we got cultural weakness keep us from being competitive in the world, got to change our ways, got to work the tribal soul - still got to fight racism and all that but its secondary and i surely aint got time to be sitting around crying about it - got things to do
jews: israel is an occupying power that seems to believe it can keep its jackboots on the necks of the palestinians forever: lotta nuance here, both sides gon stark raving mad but israel got the power, israel committed the original sin - its on israel to make it right - or go down - o israel where are your prophets when you need them
hard left: often just as daffy as the hard right, democrats be as big a fool to tack to the hard left as republicans were to tack to the hard right - i count myself among the hard left and in my heart still a true believer, but im a more sophisticated player now and i deal with whats real and whats possible and i keep my utopian inclinations where they belong - in my fiction (and this blog)
blacks and the hardleft okay, but the jews, i should stay out of that one, its a no win situation - but ive always admired the jews and their continuing influence on human destiny, the black struggle is built on a diasporic jewish model and the jews were our mentors in the game,
it hurt me to see them violate their own mythwork so,
to watch the world suffer from the adverse and almost biblical impact of their policies as an occupying power, for a destinyplayer its been an object lesson in what not to do
black islamics - lately been concerned about alienating them with my adversity to radical islam and the islamic conquest of africa - i try to be openminded here but i got serious open/closed society issues with global islam and islam will have to understand that it is a guest in africa and not a conqueror - i got issues and black islamics got decisions to make - but i do acknowledge here i probably got growing to do
hispanics: primary allies and competitors: thats a ticklish dynamic in itself, no beefs just now but we got issues we got to work out as they supplant us as most favored minority, a dynamic i hope to finesse by claiming the allegiance of afro hispanics as we move into global shadowplay - got to make being black a positive thing that everybody want to do
i worry about crossing hispanics, nativeamerican, asians, arabs, whitefolk, jews, everybody w/my determination to be a black voice, a black strategist
i worry about disappointing progressives and my academic colleagues relentless and often constrictive liberalism w/my realpolitik - my destinywork
representing is infinitely more nuanced than it was when it was just black and white
and in order to really move the dialogue and affect reality i cant keep following the party lines
i got to be real and speak truth to the people - and anybody else ask me my opinion
got a reputation for fearlessness to uphold
i thought 1st 3 paragraphs of this article were pertinent to an issue thats dear to me
course now my aforementioned militantly liberal colleagues did vote me tenure
makes all the difference in the world
between you and me i wouldnt have gotten tenure if my affirmative action points hadnt kicked in - my big projects take forever and only time i publish shorts is when somebody ask me for something
dont get no play in the prestigious publications they like cause i dont follow nobodys partyline and im too inclined to do my own thing, always been artiste w/an e and i aint no supplicant, ima conjureman and i aint
gon come to the world, the world got to come to me - i am rickydoc
and i work on things that are important to me, not on things that are important to you / or the schoolhouse
joyce dukes once call me an outlaw
i was offended, i aint no outlaw i told her, she say i didnt say you were a criminal, i said you were an outlaw, long as ive known you youve operated by your own rules
always gon feel a certain allegiance to su and the dept (and toby wolff for bringing me in out of the cold) for showing a little faith
outlaws often dont get hired/tenure and i feel an empathy with this guy finkelstein - dont know the particulars of his positions so i cant testify, boy might be a stalking horse for folk w/agendas
but i do know what its like to go against the ideological grain and entrenched power circles knowing its going to cost you - willing to pay your dues - willing to go where other folk fear to tread
cause you know its the honorable thing to do
the professional thing to do
in the name of john o killens
i live by the code
cause being an true artist and intellectual of historical stature is a blessing of a high order
and you have a geas to speak truth to the people if you want to keep your power
somefolk dont seem to realize that - thats cool, but i
was trained by john o killens, the great griot master of brooklyn
and i live by the code
line in article about 'faculty who pursue esoteric, self indulgent, and/or irrelevant research generally will not be bothered' was kinda sobering, i often fear im too esoteric to be a factor - hoodoo prophet indeed
only thing worse than pissing people off
is being ignored by them
----------------------------
The Commonplace Cowardice of Responsible Professors
By Robert Jensen
What the Finkelstein Tenure Fight Tells Us About the State of Academia
For two years I have served at the University of Texas at Austin on
the faculty committee on "academic freedom and responsibility," a
pairing of concepts that is common in higher education. While there is
a fairly broad consensus on what "freedom" means, competing conceptions
of "responsibility" lead to two very different ideas about the
appropriate role for professors in public life.
On one side is the conventional (which tends to be cowardly), and on
the other is the principled (which tends to be progressive). Norman
Finkelstein, the controversial DePaul University political scientist,
is in trouble because he not only believes in, but puts into practice,
this principled interpretation. The conventional view is that
professors should be free to investigate any question and go in any
direction the truth, as they see it, takes them. But in speaking and
writing publicly about their conclusions, faculty should be responsible
-- which in practice usually means not upsetting people with real
power. Faculty who pursue esoteric, self-indulgent, and/or irrelevant
research generally will not be bothered (because no one really cares
what they are doing), nor will those whose conclusions about relevant
subjects are in line with views of the powerful (because their work
helps reinforce the structures of power).
The principled view is that faculty members -- who have an
extraordinarily privileged position in society, being paid to learn and
convey that learning to others, with considerable autonomy that is rare
in this corporate-capitalist economy, at a more-than-livable wage --
have a responsibility to pursue research addressing relevant questions
that are meaningful in the lives of real people, especially the most
vulnerable struggling for justice. That kind of research is likely to
lead to trouble (because it challenges the prerogatives of the powerful
to rule as they please).
In other words, academics pursuing their work in responsible fashion
(in the principled sense) are the most likely to be labeled
irresponsible (in the conventional sense).
-------------------------------------
and on that note im outta here, i havent done any work today
its been one of those days, 2 of them to be exact
i got to go meet the beast
pray for me will you, my love to you all
rdoc
when me and bonnie 1st heard the news about a newly appointed administrative judge in dc suing a korean tailor for $54 million dollars over missing pants 1st 
lets lighten it up some w/some commentary on the food 
struggling w/same passage 2, 3 days now, going deeper but not moving forward - my summer woodshed just leaking away, god help me this novel is taking forever
Recent Comments