THURSDAY 3:45 am: palf killing my production
not a happy camper
read natreview article about racial polarization in campaign - article ask
why blacks can vote 90+ for obama and not be considered racist
while whites voting for clinton considered racist
i suspect it depend on what the call based on,
obamas call is based on trying to move beyond, clintons call is coded on exploiting racial resentment
kinda like reverend wright
if blackfolk were voting for rev wright in numbers then youd have a case - but they not, they voting for obama, they voting for a different way
one america ought to be encouraging
i sure am
the party concerned that some folk wont vote for obama in nov no matter what
others say the party cant proceed by appealing to diehard racists on their terms
as for monolithic black support it doesnt just happen, didnt happen for al, in fact
i believe the last recipient of big black support was bill clinton
it has happened here because of the quality of the vehicle, obama
the real thing - black or white, obama the real thing
folk keep talking about the whitefolk he dont got
while overlooking all the ones he do
in november we will lose the racists but we will gain the independents
id rather have the independents than the racists on my side anyway
make us stronger to dump them - make our
policies and compromises wiser
and while i will assume that i will have troubles w/obamas policy positions
and that there will be times that his policies will break my leftwing heart
i take him to be a sincere good man capable of growing into the job and if the quality
of his campaign vs clintons is any indication, a damn good organizer
competency - just what we need after 8 years of bush
that he black just a little icing on the cake
btw: if obama is nominated, his acceptance speech will be aug 28th
the 45th anniversary of kings i have a dream speech - deep
im gone, got to get some palf letters out
get that out of the way i can clock some pages
or should i clock the pages 1st - letters kinda critical
do the letters, get
them off my plate
not a happy camper
rdoc
WEDNESDAY 2:00 am: another day another paragraph
way to go obama, took north carolina, lost indiana by no
more than can be accounted for by mischievous republicans
also good news the louisiana dem the repubs targeted
by linking him to obama won his race too - cool
i expect to see movement by superdelegates
trying to put this puppy to bed, but then again
been there done that, lets
see what the clintons try next
this been a helluva ride hasnt it
and we assume its only just begun
may the gods be good to us
rdoc
TUESDAY 10:31 am: disaster, been kicked
back into yesterdays page,
got to work my way back to todays page
got to move forward at least a page a day, at least
40 pages thats 40 days, 1st half of the summer
can use the 2nd half polishing
btw: i was thinking, if obama doesnt get knocked out of the box today - then this tempering by clinton will have been beneficial, because
those folk he courting now are the folk he will have to court
in november, hillary has run the gamut on him
if he survive tuesday he will be better prepared
for what the real dogs of the earth gon throw at him
hows that for a positive read
im gone - yesterdays page
can you believe that - what a
revolting development this is
TUESDAY 9:17 am: clocking words
about a paragraph worth, so far so good
TUESDAY 6:58 am
well here i am again, sitting at the sacred desk and struggling w/the page
you keep hoping you will reach a point where you just coasting
but every morning its the same old thing, a big narrative mess that you got to wade through, trying to make it work
mostly what im doing now is moving segments around, trying to make it work - and struggling with that last 40 pages endgame
struggled all day yesterday - i mean struggled, it was a rough day really rough - got about a page done, which is cool, basically thats a good day,
actually thats a very good day, but not for a man as desperate as me
mostly im longhanding those last 40 pages, 1 down 39 to go - two pages would have been more wonderful more really really wonderful
but instead of struggling with the page all day all day all day
i gave the evening to palf - buddy of mine chastize me about that the other day,
say they would have said no, i explained to them im of the line of o killens
ima organizer, a literary organizer, like john o killens taught me - could no
more pass on palf than paul robeson could, langston, zora, ishmael or babajohn
organizing/empowering writers of african descent around the world
building a global an afroworld literary infrastructure(s) - be still my beating hearrt
as you may know i think writers and literature one of the most powerful forces on
the planet - unto each an army - i love organizing them, empowering them
i love building blackworld infrastructures
that come under heading: the good life
im just thankful jeff ask me to play a role
good longgame is intoxicating to old player like me
i still got it, still capable of answering when the warhorn call, still got a good campaign
or two left in me, just hope palf can deal w/my prima donna ways,
jeff, mohammed and jp, they young, they can afford
to sacrfice a project, i cannot, not at this point
literary organizers, you figure over a lifetime they have
sacrificed at least one major project that could have been
a lifetime of struggle as a literary organizer has cost me
i figure at least one novel, got no more to give
i hear that clock ticking - these youngsters they
dont have the faintest idea what im talking about
tick tock - got to use my remaining time my
dwindling energy wisely
told jeff it would be mornings/afternoons rest for the weary
afternoons/evenings palf
rdoc
doing what i can
a luta continua
gotta go
working day hasnt even started
and im already tired
MONDAY
hello worlld, not much to say today, lets start w/a
useful article, 100 driving tips for saving gas
save you more than that holiday tax, okay
artist zenobia bailey, knitting and crochet, those
her pieces, like afrospiritual mandalas
ima feature her work this week in gallery de rootsblog
that might be it for today, stepping back from the primary
i keep ranting, frothing over hillary or wright, whatever
then somebody like adam banks embarrass me with
the more measured approach befitting a conjureman
got to keep my magical perspective
cant be wallowing about in the mud
caught up in the passions of the moment
what kinda hoodoo is that
finally started working novel this morning, been spinning
my wheels last couple of days, then i realize
i got that woodshed entry fear, that fear that this effort will
fail, and it will be proven once and finally
for all that im not the writer i always hoped id be
that i just dont have a big novel in me
that can be crippling if i let it - just articulating it send shivers down my
spine - accept the fear rick, and ignore it, just
concentrate on putting the hours in, 6 to 9 hours a day keep the
blues away (then i can do palf - no novel no palf)
but when you start an effort like this you by definition in a failure mode
you starting from a dead stop and you got no momentum no juice
and all you can see is day after day of challenge and disciplilne and all
you got to show is pages and pages of last draft manuscript that aint working
now and the challenge gon be making it work and you full of despair
but you just ignore that too - moneydraft do or die - masterpiece or
farce this novel getting done, gon show them all
rickydoc been down, folk think i been
bullshitting, folk have writ me off in
the literary world, i will
show them all
i am rickydoc flowers
wouldbe novelist of historical
stature and significance
my will be done
Comments