MONDAY
did not work sat or sun, got this section so bad im going to have to go longhand and totally redo it
longhand is when what i have just doesnt work and i have to make it stronger w/stronger narration
when redpen wont get it, when online generation wont get it, when only pen in hand will do
this will be decon 2, but then what will be defcon 1, basically total war
okay, these are the defcons according to wikipedia
- DEFCON 5 normal peacetime military readiness.
- DEFCON 4 normal, increased intelligence and the heightening of national security measures.
- DEFCON 3 force readiness above normal. (9/11)
- DEFCON 2 force readiness just below maximum readiness. (cuban missile crises)
- DEFCON 1 maximum readiness. attack on US military forces or US territory by foreign power.
so my defcons will be:
defcon 5: lifemode: minimum maintenance: schoolweek mode: doing what i can, aspiration 3 hr day
defcon 4: basic production mode: weekends, xmas break - 3 - 6 hr shifts
defcon 3: summer woodshed mode: cleaning up existing manuscript, x pages a day - 6 - 9 hr shifts
defcon 2: woodshed/zone mode: structural changes, filling in raw manuscript holes, major revision 6 - 12
defcon 1: zone mode: longhand, critical raw manuscript generation and enhancement 6 - 12
gnerally woodshed mode is defcon 3 w/defcon 2 being the zone, but the kind of desperation, the kind of focus im feeling now, thats defcon 1 - do or die
i suspect you dont find this as interesting as i do, playing w/production, little tricks to enhance production, this little trick will be good for about 3 weeks before it loses its power to drive, then i will come up with something else, till then, defcon 1: do or die
rdoc
SUNDAY
so bonnie drags me kicking and screaming to some play last night - crowns
its about church women and their hats she say all enthusiastic
to say i am not enthusiastic about this play would be an understatement
but im working i say, what is the book about i say, what is the story
i am attempting of course to make a point with this series of questions
she say its a coming of age but there is not much of a story
i sneer what is it one of those tyler perry plays, a your arms too short to box w/god play
so she say well i will find somebody else to go with me and i know then its a command performance
specially when she go ahead and buy the tickets in spite of all my grumbling
i realize then not only must i go but i best quit grumbling about it
but i get there and its one of the few plays when its over i wish it was still going on
it was wonderful, made you appreciate our history, our struggle, our grace, i enjoyed it immensely
the actors were incredible, singing dancing acting fools - theater folk at their wildchild best - you could tell they enjoyed the roles - the set and customing was exquisite, and it took some bold moves for a church based work
started off with the preacher dude in a redsatin lined dr strange cape, a magicians staff and a red velvet tophat, a black herman mystic w/african witchdoctor overtones and he made it work in a church based format - i was impressed - in fact i took notes
the audience full of hatted churchfolk, which gave the experience a certain flavor - o i enjoyed it immensely - ima trip value junkie you know
and that play had trip value, its been a good weekend
i have to say it took me back to my southern black baptist days as a child
what would i say its about, famiy legacies and female bonding in the church maybe - it covered some ground
novel on the otherhand is breaking my heart, ive hit another brick wall of bad
last passage this bad i fixed it by taking it out of the novel, this one is too critical to extract
this one i got to fix - almost 10 days into june, damn near half way through the summer woodshed
this one is going to take me at least a couple of days, maybe a week - assuming i can fix it - a luta continua - a luta continua
rdoc
SATURDAY
still moving, still moving slow but moving
so me and bonnie both fans of karen savoca, one of my library finds
so we see she and pete heitzman playing at the local unitarian church
turns out she a local, so we trot on down there this evening and its one of the
most memorable concerts ive ever experienced
and i really liked petes guitar playing, you dont really hear it on the cd like you do in person
they give a better show than their cds and the cds strong - they had the folk house rocking
now whenever i hear them, i see them too, now that was what i call a performance
me and bonnie both count that one of lifes memorable experiences - they live in oneida now but the
crowd was heavy w/friends and regulars in an intimate venue, it was a very warm and toasty evening
i shamelessly stood on the love your work line, told them i came here tonight as a fan, now im a fanatic
they liked that, they thought that was cute
they gon be at some local jook called the red house nov 7, rickydoc gon be there too
all my love
rdoc
FRIDAY
hello world, the text of obama muslim speech here
i might go thru at some point and note the highlights
but not today, clocking pages, basically a full court press all day
yields a page or two, which just barely gets me to the promised land
by the end of the summer, everything else has fallen by the wayside
im in a ruthless state of mind, too close to the finishline to do anything but
hanging in there
rdoc
THURSDAY
bummer, just heard from george that toby wolff had a stroke, two strokes actually, wife say when the doctor was giving them the news what happened
his recitation sound like a passage from tobys story: bullet in the brain, toby say next time he will
write about winning the lottery - hes doing well enuf to be cracking literary jokes, thats a good sign
impaired vision and speech, what he calls his dr strangelove arm, but hes been moved from icu to
rehab and one hopes for the best
this is a bummer, toby the one brought me and george into syracuse, toby brought me out of the cold
into the mfa world, otherwise i was still a starving artist at 45 years old, this is kinda deep for me cause i been talking about john o as my mentor and i consider toby a mentor of my literary maturity
brought me and george into syracuse, spent about a year or so training us and told us it was time for him to move on, he was passing it on to new blood and a different aesthetic - this more or less verbatim
i remember when i came here for the audition, im dancing, im jumping thru the hoops, im not that confident cause my credentials shaky but toby was the man then
and when i waa leaving after it was done, toby pulled me aside and said dont worry about it, you got the job
every once in awhile i bless toby wolffs name
and i am glad he survived his strokes with his sense of self intact
my prayers are with him and his wife catherine, and all the folk who love toby wolff
toby one of these hearty but socially awkward folk, brooks say with toby its always like you on the 1st date
1st date with the proverbial heart of gold, toby only 5 years older than i am, man im glad he took that hump in style
im glad he cracking literary jokes - look like he still showing the way
all my love
rdoc
TUESDAY
there i was this morning clocking pages when i ran up on a passage so brutally bad it broke my spirit
it was so bad it made me want to crawl under a rock and i tried to remember if i had shown it anybody
i fear i have
okay, let me take a deep breath and wade thru it, make it work
those of you been keeping up will see i have edited down last couple of days postings
sorry about that but they struck me as intemperate - too much information
basically im in the zone and im kinda out there - best i restrain myself
im gone, clocking pages
hanging in there
rdoc
IS IT MONDAY AGAIN, I THOUGHT YESTERDAY WAS MONDAY
been fallow last coupe of days
was reading one of the 2009 folk, becca fishows musings on fame in the internet age
cause me to ponder that for writers its about promotion, a literary skill ever more important
thought about how babajohn trained his students in the arts of literary promotion
how we were all politicos when we came to him he just transformed our organizing skills
made us literary organizers
taught us successful writers master the skills of self promotion
the internet has just added tools to the mix
these days you build your name on the web like you do in the print world
it was jeff parker made clear to me a 21st century writer has to work with both hands
its always a blend of promotion and substance, hopefully w/emphasis on substance
depends on what your definition of literary success is - fame and fortune - or writing good books - or is it
aesthetic, destinic, cultural influence - influence on the way of things through the power of art
is it all the above
literature to babajohn killens was a sacred calling, i feel the same way about it, i dont treat the literary life lightly, i treat it like the blessing it is
i got to figure out how to best use facebook as an instrtument of literary organization
maximal impact, minimal effort, the minimal effort is always key, who got the time
two days off im feeling a little panicky, if i dont make this draft deadline i will feel bad
like im not serious, like im just spinnng my wheels and dont really have a great novel in me
2 days off and my fears, my desperations, rise up in me
but you know im not going to pay any attention to that, that kind of fear can cripple you, stop your flow,
i tell my students, doubts and anxieties, they never go away, you just ignore them, you write thru them
let me see if i got any quick commentary for you
abortion doctor assassinated- in church no less - bummer
penn paper runs personal ad suggesting assassination of obama - bummer
suffering in darfur grows after aid orgs expelled - where is barack hussein obama - bummer
forget this, im just depressing myself
artwork is john killens as long distance runner by tom feelings, tom sent original to me right before he died - like an acknowledgement of me as babajohns protege, that touched my heart
babajohn supposed to be getting respect thru me, i gotta get busy
all my love
rdoc MONDAY
winter 2009 issue of the literary review is out, contemporary african writing,
guest editor is jeff allen of pan african literary forum
not sure whats happening with palf, jeffs bout with malaria has thrown us off our game
i look forward to picking up a copy of this one though, met most of the folk in it
i see mildred barya is there, she will be coming into syracuse mfa with the 2009 crew, im excited about that
i also have to get my hands on rob spilmans gods and soldiers, the penguin anthology of contemporary african writing, been intending to do that for awhile now
ive decided what im going to do is powerdrive thru these manuscripts on my plate, just added another, that makes 5, im just too behind on that, and the mlk, i really want to clear my decks so all i got to think about is mine, but i feel guilty putting these folk off until spring
im outta here, might not be able to work today, im feeling weary
i always schedule 2 days a week off during a push, otherwise i will take them anyway and feel bad
today might be a day off, we will see
trying to think if i got any commentary before i sign off but i dont think so
probably should be keeping up with the battle to define sotomayor but ive kinda learned something stepping back from engagement with obamas struggles
too close in that and you go up and down with the daily calls of the brutal news cycle
step back like a player should and keep some perspective and you dont get caught up in it like that
applying that to sotomayor too, keeping my perspective, take a hand when i can, but as far as the trenches go, not going to happen
with obama ive decided i will let him handle his game, i will handle mine
with sotomayor, ima let the hispanics carry the ball on that one
still trying to figure out how to use that facebook as an instrument
i dont have time or inclination to be socializing - who got time for that
im out
rdoc
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