WEDNESDAY
dear regulators, i been thinking,
about smiley & his porkchop cohorts trying to kneecap obama, been thinking about repub teabaggers trying to take him down, about nina shopes commitment & my own ivorytower coolness that make do w/commentary as my contribution
& im thinking the hellhounds got my boy surrounded & rickydoc flowers aint never sat out no struggle,
im thinking his back wide open, he sincerely trying to take care of business and he need his troops to
mount up, in fact he depending on us to mount up,
its like we a warband and the leadership have to step on out there cause if leadership dont step up
nobody will but leadership be hoping and praying that when folk see im stepping up they wont let me
stand up here by myself, they gon step up with me cause they know we got to step up
and its like obama out there on his own, he got the civilians with him but what about
the players like me, ideological orchestrators with our particular skill sets
the graying veterans of the 60s, for whom struggle was our daily bread
are we to be represented by egotripping tavis smileys
i dont think so
and im thinking rickydoc flowers aint never sat out no struggle
not when blackfolks was truly on the frontlines
this has become a war for the soul of america, led by a blackman trying his best to do good
and i aint been manning my position
look like old rickyoc got to report for duty
one more time
civilrights movement, i was there, blackpower, i was there
empowerment, i was there, still am, but this obama thing
this the face of black struggle in the 21st century, and its
difficult sometime to recognize it as struggle but struggle it is
and oh god you know i dont have time for this
i refuse to cut back production, schoolhouse require its pound of flesh
family and domestics require theirs, where do i find time to engage
not only is electoral politics high maintenance
obama still gon be making decisions that break
my progressive heart - thats about all
you can depend on a politician to do
but i cant leave him out there on his own
with his back wide open, he has stepped up
im got to step up with him
one more campaign lord, surely i got
one more campaign in me
vietnam was a defining moment of my political youth
it was brotherme brotherblood brotherblack
blacinization we called it, me and
you brother against the world
one brother throw down we all down
that the way its gotta be
in the name of the conqueror
thats the way its gotta be
rdoc
MONDAY
okay, i surrender, last 10 pages horrid but i am totally burnt out and got to focus on schoolhouse
maybe when i pick it up next weekend it will have clarified itself, whatever, im done
congrats to obama, pelosi and the dems, w/a little student loan work on the side, aint the best universal
health care bill in the world but i will take the victory for what it is, glad somebody winning
might be a good time to pay some political dues, send off some donations, defend vulnerable dems repub teabags targeting for their vote, maybe send off some money to org for america
the i shoulds never end do they
i should this i should that,
and dont let me get started on the i musts, i must this i must that
i must go
thinking the other day what i want from my narrative play
in this novel, i want to open up minds, souls, make them bigger
when i play wordgames i want the sudden jarring dissonance to force folks
perceptions and understandings to evolve, to be expanded to point they will never again
contract, or be lesser than, im really not explaining this well but i know what im looking for
with wordplay in this novel, and twixt you and me i often get it, it make me tingle when i do
longgame and destinywork: the shaping of generations: a gamble
you likely to lose but what the hell i love the game
i really must go
all my love
rdoc
SUNDAY
“We are proud of our individualism,” said Obama, speaking before
congressional Democratic leaders and the House Democratic caucus. “We
are proud of our liberty, but we also have a sense of neighborliness
and a sense of community and we are willing to look out for one another
and help people that are vulnerable, and help people that are down on
their luck and give them a pathway to success, and give them a ladder
into the middle class.”
SATURDAY
tavis smiley need to go sit down somewhere, everybody understand that obama cant come nationalist, it would cripple him while he trying to effect changes that will benefit us all
coalition politics critical when you only 10% of the population, a weak 10% at that,
viable black leaders 21st century stylee cant allow themselves to be boxed into a narrow constituency,
representing only blackfolk would be counterproductive in this 'postracial' multiculti society of ours, even if your primary mission is saving the black generations
political climate considered we judge he doing best he can, in fact i been impressed w/blackfolks sophistication in this matter - we in it to win it
and too many folk trying to take him down cause he black for blackfolk to pile on too
that dont fly
smiley need to slow his roll
anybody trying to force obama to represent under these conditions just trying to cripple him, or they truly naive
smiley is not naive, he got issues, he playing egogames while the rest of us doing destinywork, tavis need to grow up
about 20 pages now, but quality has deteriorated, right now im just going for a coherent endgame
schoolhouse crying for attention
fullcourt will clear decks for summer woodshed
no way i will do another novel after this one, have to be confident you
will get at least 10 more functional years when you start a novel
least for us slow folk
holybook wont take 10, neither will shorts
i may get 10 i just dont trust 10
so, next ball up - holybook and hoodoo shorts, anything other than a novel
is coasting, maybe focus on institutionalizing, run some orchestrations
my works i consider the seeds of future realities
institutionalization and ideological orchestrations, thats
preparation of the ground
destinywork a gamble you most likely to lose
but what the hell i enjoy the game
in the name of the conqueror
rdoc
THURSDAY
i dont know where my head was that made me think i could do 50 pages
of good strong manuscript in a weeks time, i must have been punch drunk
it was a very productive woodshed so im not complaining, im just amused
boy, you such a dreamer
rdoc
WEDNESDAY
feell ike im about to crash and burn, novel kicking my ass
about 30 pages now, done maybe 20, feel like ive paid for each page in blood,
2 more days i can claim as woodshed
i dont have a chance in hell, wont stop me from trying but i dont
have a chance in hell, banking on desperation now, im looking for a miracle
desperate effort gets you further than you were but not to the promseland
one accepts 'further than you were' for the blessing that it is, and stays on the grind
really wanted to be thru w/draft/phase so i could concentrate last month on schoolhouse
now i got to do both, ie no rest for the weary
boy obama has kicked up his game, got a convincing email from organizing
for america. say now is the time to step up, followed it to this link giving call scripts
now generally i dont do retail politics, call myself an ideological orchestrator, i play for
higher stakes, i vote religiously but im not a full service politico, which is what i would you be
organizing attempts to affect policy on an ongoing basis
i gotten involved occassionally when the heat is on i like to think i step up
man the phonebanks, transport voters, unskilled labor like that
this is one of those times, it has become a war for the soul of america
and i should be doing my part, got no problem asking you to do yours
but i think im too cool to actually call a senator or write the letter
i admire obama trying to use his community organizing skilz to make lasting change
and i deeply deplore the rights ability to outorganize the left
i deplore the america the right is trying to empower, i know what sophisticated politics entail
i hope you do the right thing even if i dont
ima desperate man
rdoc
ps: this the obama im talking about, this the one we need here sunday
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