in the name of the conqueror

 

MONDAY

hello all, this is a tbr post i did a couple of days ago

this one kinda rough, as you know im busy, i dont have time to clean this up, didnt mean to be so extensive, i just got caught up, what ima do is not read over it, that way I dont have to rewrite

i am concerned about the southern sudan, ever since I read chancellor williams destruction of black civilization, the sudan been holyground to me

january they vote on independence from the sudan, this vote is a given, the question is what happens next, will the sudan willingly give up its primary oil supplies, not likely, will they put aside an ageold contention with the southern tribes

not likely, will the southern tribes stand together, not likely, the historical pattern seems to be where two blacks stand, none stand together,

what about the grinding poverty, the archaic social system, the lack of human resources, and me the armchair player, bemoaning once again my lack of resources in the realworld,

as a young artist politico the soldiers and activists wings would berate the artists and the thinkers in the movement as being ivorytower theorists

and as a young artist i was susceptible to this charge but i am comfortable now in the knowledge that my most profound contribution will be through my works, if i can write works that will inspire generations i will have done what i been put on the planet to do

your organizing efforts might help one or two folk, a given community, but if you want to effect systematic change on the human condition, your best shot is thru your works

but then situations like obama, like the southern sudan, come up where i crave power
in the realworld, when i want to make a difference, my response is nonfiction, blog et al

which is a very poor substitute for some kind of direct action but i got to do my thing

as a young artist i had discretionary energy that often went into political organizing, i no longer have that option, everything i can beg borrow or steal now got to go into getting my work done, assuring my legacy

 anybody can be an activist, nobody else on the planet can do what i do – which is write what i write, work my vision

but i have this lifelong fantasy of founding a thinktank, founding an international consulting firm on governance, assembling a good team, contracting out to governments and blackworld leaders in need of committed guidance – just thinking as i write this, i am part of palf, panafricanliteraryforum,

had a meeting with jeff and mohammed in the city this weekend, we about to make some moves on nigeria, palf been more than a notion, 3 writers do not a viable board make, im the systems guy, the organization guy, which gives you an idea of just how bad a shape we in – we call ourselves going to different african countries, holding literary conferences and empowering literary cultures, couple of years ago we did ghana, our initial run – but we all busy writers and we doing just enough to keep it alive, but when i get this novel done ima have to put that in play

im thinking i can work some institutional goals into that framework….

okay rick, you need to chill, down boy, but you see how my mind run, its my nature to put pieces in play, i just cant help myself, that’s how i was trained, but the fulfillment of that particular initiative will take a full court press and i cant do that and be a great novelist too, least not at this stage in the game

i have to repress that side of me, do it on the side, in my spare time, allow its fullest manifestation in my work

which is part of what i like about being a writer, this prophetic thing i got, this would be prophet of the hoodoo way bit, that’s a recipe for failure, i dont believe a true prophet can be a success in their lifetime, then they become something i dont care for, so my little efforts in the realworld to manifest as a prophet of the hoodoo way are shall we say frustrating, failure is a given,

but that’s okay because on another level whatever i do in the realworld is just research for my books, cause ima metafictional, all i got to do is write about being a would be prophet and a mode that would otherwise be considered delusional has realworld value, in fact i get my best material from failure in life

I did not intend to get this deep into themud

once again i have gotten all involved in a post, i meant to write you a quick note, i got to do manuscripts today, i feel a great sense of relief that i have finished my longhand phase (w/a little cheating), now ima put the book down, focus this week on schoolhouse, domestics and palf, then redpen this weekend hopefully,

would like to take a week or two off and prepare myself for the final lap but until i redpen that last 30 pages or so im not really done and rest wont be restful

so this is the plan – take the week to catch up on schoolhouse manuscripts, palf and some domestics – then this weekend its redpen do or die

dont know about you but ima be clocking pages, do or die

as for the sudan ima do what I can – a luta continua

rdoc

 

 

SUNDAY

i am totally burnt out it appears, have to force myself to the computer, do a para and im ready to quit
do an hour and im ready to nap, i have obviously overextended myself and got nothing left in the tank

at this point im not getting bang for my buck, what i need to do is take a couple of weeks off, get some rest
only problem with that is i dont think im able to take that kind of time off, but it may be moot, as wore out as

i am now its not really my decision, that last scene needing to be longhanded i fudged it, just used the old
draft cause its coherent enuf to fill the hole, i will have to fix it later in the game, right now i just need to be

able to say im thru w/this phase

hopefully i will have enuf energy to redpen last 30 pages or so next week, them ima

have to put it down for a week or so before i do the last draft, the poetry draft

do i have time for a quick commentary, not really but was looking at situation w/dcs fenty
a postracial politician thought he could dismiss his black base, food for thought barack,

in your case your black and liberal base, get your game together brother
saw where he was cracking on his base again, chiding them about the public option

i just dont see the point barack, must be that he is sensitive about it and feeling petulant
come on barack, get your game on - samesame you too rick, get your game on

 

THURSDAY LATER IN THE DAY

i realize, sitting here wading thru students manuscripts that the reason im bummed out is because i havent worked on my own work for about a week now, and still got that 20th deadline, im really bummed out, hopefully i can get a groove on this weekend

THURSDAY

well dear regulators, thats it, sent that barack piece out and im not feeling the love

now i got the why did i even waste my time doing that blues

the everytime i tell a story i expect it to change the world blues

the why do i insist on spitting in the ocean blues - im feeling unappreciated

i know on the realside its cumulative, respect and readership build up over time

but i been doing this almost 40 years now and im still a footnote

i look at all the ink ive invested in rootsblog/tidalbasin/facebook this last month

and i think i could have finished that novel for sure if i had been focused

then i got the schoolhouse taking up all my discretionary time,

between prep, classes, paperwork, dept meetings and student conferences
ive got to invest mon/tue/wed/thur into the schoolhouse full court press

which give me fri to rest, sat and sun to work - thats just not enuf to do otherstuff too
specially when you include domestic and family obligations etc

im just underwater, and everybody want to do lunch, folk want to hangout,
orgs asking me to do presentations, family folk always in crises

everybody want a piece of rick - everybody unhappy w/me when i say i just cant do it

but until i get this novel done i get no respect, none - i call myself writing strong and it gets ignored

which has been the case with my books too, but at least they books, ima have to chill

there is this throw in the iching say the superior personality has two ways of influencing the world
you can contend in the court or you can withdraw to work on  yourself as a model for generations to come

i translate that as a spiral, engagement in the arena and withdrawal for reflection and renewal
i believe ima have to withdraw for a moment, until this novel get done i dont do nothing that aint

obligatory - might be over these literary blues in a couple of days

but for the moment im out, im done

rdoc

WEDNESDAY

well i posted that barack obama over at basin and facebook
was so bold as to note it on facebook which put it on everybodys

wall which i hate but i wanted to make sure it got distribution
sometime you got to go ahead and throw the dice

since i was making the move i needed to make it the strongmove
make sure it get to enuf folk that its truly embedded in the historical flow

but now im embarrassed and wont even look at facebook for awhile
should have just put in the flow and been done with it

i need to focus anyway, shoolhouse got me by the throat, if i dont finish
this novel soon i just wont have any time, or is that the case rick

took a quote off honoree jeffers wall from toni morrison
was thinking for the benefit of students and wannabes but

perhaps i need to pay attention myself

 ‎"I don't want to hear whining about how it's so difficult. Oh, I don't tolerate any of that because most of the
people who've ever written are under enormous duress, myself being one them."—Toni Morrison

ima do one more big post for basin about representing, being a blackwriter in a postracial reality
other than that ima chill

this what generally happen, i step out there real bold, embarrass myself and withdraw

im still not altogether comfortable with this social media thing where you constantly telling everybody your business

but i got a constituency and i got to keep them fed - thats you dear regulators

you know what i enjoyed most about that move, signing it in the name of the conqueror

word by rickydoc

you i can say that to, cause i know you understand what that mean to me

me and you, dear regulators

all my love

rdoc

TUESDAY

beloved photographer ernest withers been outed as fbi informant -

this is one of his iconic images, the i am a man signs of the garbage workers strike that brought king to memphis

man im in a state of shock, i saw him right before he died, going into a store on union,
he asked about my mother, who was mortally sick, i was touched by an elders concern

i called him baba withers, as did much of black memphis,
trove of fbi freedom of information documents here, chronicling black militancy in memphis

during the civilrights/blackpower movement, all provided to the fbi by ernest withers

- this one hard to digest, one of those i dont want to believe it moments

makes you wonder who else did they turn - also i want to go through the files

make sure they got me in there somewhere, a badge of honor

when i went into the army 1969 my files went with me and caused me some grief
when i was adoption process recently they asked me what about this trespassing charge in 68

and i realized they were referring to the takeover of the deans office at memphis state
amazing how long that kind of stuff linger, it will be interesting to see how folk from the struggle

respond to these developments, i find myself willing to give him a pass, i know i shouldnt

but he lived long enough to become a respected elder and thats where ima leave it,

it was me and mine that he betrayed and if sweet willie wine can forgive him i can too

Comments

[BuffaloSoldier]

THEY WERE TIRED OF THE HATRED. BuffaloSoldier salutes HotButteredSoul. Well, SoulDoctor, I see you now share some of the same misgivings experienced by TravisSmiley/CornelWest. Hopefully BlackPeople won't smite you in the person of Playthell Benjamin and realize that yours is the healing voice of a souldoctor. My misgivings began at the coronation er inauguration. And the wonderful SashaObama voiced my sentiment on national television. "So you're the first BlackPresident, huh? You better be a good one!" He hasn't been. Nor was he set up to be. "you be TRICKED," Malcolm might say. "You been had!" The Disney production was in full swing with this version of the LionKing. Reid and the gang, in an almost gloating moment, said "we looked for someone brown who could stick around." No one need apply if you have a history of Blackness beyond your own birth. And believe me, Brother, they factored in the BrotherMe,BrotherYou,BrotherBlood sentiment you and others have. Yes, you'd take a bullet for The LionKing. Would he, you? I say if he would, he'd go as hard as he can right now! Damn the torpedos! Don't whine about them talking about you. Of course they're going to talk about you. When I was little and complained the kids talked about me, my mother said, "Hey, they talked about Jesus Christ. So why not you?" See, for me, by skirting BlackIssues, from the door, it's like saying BlackPeople are some kind of fringe. WhiteClinton didn't skirt it. And remember, they said he and his wife murdered his best friend and dumped his body in the park. Malcolm X. Martin Luther King, 21 year old Fred Hampton. What did they all have in common? Those Buffalosoldiers took a bullet for BlackPeople. They certainly didn't think we were a fringe. I'm BuffaloSoldier and I approve this message.

[masterymistery]

very entertaining (as usual). Get onto that novel, right now!!! d'you hear me? love the artwork, the guitarist.

masterymistery at cosmic rapture