done deal: i can live with this, or die w/it as the case may be

TUESDAY

got about halfway thru novel last weekend so im in a good space
supposed to be going to univ of wisc madison this week for a symposium

on vietvets and music? im not quite sure what thats going to be, craig werner
is the convenor and craig does good academic mixes so it should be interesting

he asked me sometime back for a piece on what music has meant to me as a vet and i wrote
how the first thing i heard coming back to the world was the album whats going on by marvin gaye

and it blew my mind, it was like he wrote that specially for me

was reading about this blogger who got beat almost to death in russia for skewering authorities
and was reading about this blogger on the west bank who got arrested for thinking online

and it once again makes me conscious of just how hard it is to be a writer in so many places around the world
only penalty for thinking here is not getting paid, or low readership, same thing

im out

rdoc

SATURDAY

hello world, im feeling kinda mellow, working on what im now calling the enrichment draft
and its kinda a fundraft, just cant cut the time because of schoolhouse but such is life

got a new book out that is strange and perhaps luminous like i like my work to be
and finishing a novel i been working on for 10 brutal years - im in a fair to middling space

i have decided to ask my 2nd yr workshop to critique my novel, that will severly embarrass me
but they a sharp bunch, i respect their literary opinions, it will make my novel a stronger work

and you know what i think about that - i am however going to wait until the last class
this will be an inevitable loss of gravitas, they will see the professor is not quite as

infallible as i like to imply - the inevitable cost of grace

they will enjoy jumping the old man, other day i nuked one, asked him in workshop what does your
novel say about the human condition - he say he very eager to return the favor, i like my students

they so sincere

i grow as much in my interactions w/them as hopefully they do w/me
its unfortunate i dont give them the time i should, what can i say, ima

desperate man, god help me i got to get my work done, im the slowest writer in america

was thinking of whats likely in new political dynamic: defending the healthcare reform is one
for what it cost us that weak little reform is under major assault, its unfortunate isnt it that the

repubs have latched onto this defund the government thread as a major part of their ideology
weaken the government, that appear foolish by definition, the world will not be kind to a crippled america

i feel about this like i felt about blackfolk and reparations, who thought of this

reparations was a distraction, i remember being excommunicated when i suggested that back when
and im glad to see reparations has faded away, whoever came up w/begging whitefolk as a strategy

ought to be shame

longgame strategies should be designed to transform you into the people you want most to be
all reparations did was teach us to be better beggars, what kind of strategy is that -  for shame

when it come to shaping generations reparations was just a diversion
that wasnt the kind of generations i need my people to be

im the name of the conqueror im out

all my love

rdoc

 

 

THURSDAY

sorry to report still working on this novel, doing one last read thru before i send it off

hope to be thru with this this weekend, good lord willing and the creek dont rise

im comfortable with this, its the outside world pushing me, but im of the line of o killens

and john o used to hammer into us, future generations wont have anything but your novel
they wont care that you are under financial pressure, tenure or ego pressure, your novel is eternal

be patient, give it whatever time it takes  -  i live by that understanding, two weeks will make it
a stronger richer novel, and i will pay any cost for a stronger richer novel, thats how i roll

this is like the enrichment draft,

but the novel itself a done deal, i just want it to be stronger, but at this late point in my career/life when i
start a novel project that i know will take a decade or more your big concern is dying before its done

ive reached that point with this one where its a done deal and thats a big relief off my soul
there are some things i can do to it to make it better, and i will after feedback/editorial discussions

but ive finally reached the point with this novel where i can live with it as my legacy as is

or rather die with it as the case may be

in the name of the conqueror, its a done deal

 

Comments

[Michael]

Congratulations! Well done-I look forward to reading this work!

[BuffaloSoldier]

SO ONE DAY WE WOULD BE FREE BuffaloSoldier salutes Fred Hudson. The Soldier will make the case for reparations soon. It's not that others haven't recieved the reps. NativeAmericans, Japanese, heck, even the founding of Israel. (Can you imagine Israel's establishment without the horror of World War Two? And yet, they'd always said it was their traditional land.) I'm BuffaloSoldier and I approve this preview.

[Datsunflambe.blogspot.com]

Glad to see you on the final stages....