WED: 12:27: thats it, im done, just sent it off, i could redpen it all one more time but im sick of it, its done i feel really funny w/o that novel goading me, im lost w/o a major project in play, ima take a week off and get
back in the saddle w/mojo rising, only willing to give it feb, march im picking up the hoodoo book of flowers in fact what i got to do is thnk of this mojorising rewrite as parts of THBOF:TGBBG
quicker i get thru the mojorising rewrite, the quicker i get to what i really want to do
in fact what im thinking is feb is already a shortmonth, maybe i should just take the weekend off, get back to work monday
WEDNESDAY: 6:37 am
you will perhaps not be surprised dear regulators to know i still have that manuscript on hand im not quite happy with that last 20 pages, gon redpen it, told ellen i would be sending it in wed anyway
i been redpenning my last 20, making significant revision,willing to holdon to it till thur or friday if that what it take
bummer about newt, i wanted newt to win florida, i want him keep muddying gop waters, dragging mitt down
& exposing them for what they really are, & i want him to take it to the convention, i cant imagine he will
win the nominaton but i surely would enjoy that, he would be an easier foil for obama than mitt, who will wiggle to the center as soon as he is able,
but mitt is such a caricature of the raider rapaciousness that got us into this mess that i hope the american people will decide to oursource him too
MON: done deal: ima hold onto it one more day, play w/last couple of paras some more on gp, send it to ellen tomorrow, done deal
SUN: 5:56AM 103:109 of 115: ok, im basically done, got to enrich these last 6 pages or so, lets say wed i send it in
SUN: 5:20AM 103:102 of 115: i see why closure stressful, often to fix closure have to go back in text & fix points leading to closure
SUN: 4:6AM 103:102 of 115: been working same 3 pgs for about 3 dys, but they damn good pgs now - they good, im good, lets roll
SAT: 9:33 AM 103:102 of 115: realize now why struggling w/the page weary a writer so - each passage, endgame in particular, designed to evoke an emotional response - have to put myself in that emotional space to work the passage, and as soon as i finish one movement got to headset the next one, its grinding me down, collapse imminent, hang in there rick, you can do this
SAT: 12:36 AM 110:100 of 116: spun wheels all day, 5 a day not working, try 3 -- 16 pgs at 3 a day be thru by fri - reset pg clock to 100
FRIDAY: 3:31 AM: 105:100 of 115: moving forward again, slow but sho, at this rate id say ima need another week, good lord willing
THURSDAY: 3:10 AM: 100:97 of 115: endgame is killing me, its like this is where the novel goes to die, focus rick, focus
WEDNESDAY: 3:52 PM: 95:97 of 115: rough day of narrative mud & endgame reassessments, lost my cushion, still trying
TUESDAY 5:50: PM: 90:96 of 115: ive gotten very flexible, slogging thru endgame & narrative mud now, a days cushion
TUESDAY 6:35 AM: 90:84 of 115 at 84 only one page behind but starting day 5 pgs in hole, need 90 by days end
so actually 6 in the hole, so be it, step by step, word by word, its trench warfare seperate the writers from the dilletantes
gingrich is frightening aint he, he plays those base resentment codes much too well but i still think he best foil for obama, i cant imagine him winning, romney i can - problem
of course is that you can never underestimate the american publics capacity for self destruction
i got to go, i got 6 pages need doing, only reason i stopped rolling at 84 was i hit a wall - thats still waiting sometime when you get up in the morming and look at a wall fresh its not as bad as you feared, or you
lower your standards - my standards are getting a little more flexible everyday, im not going to miss my deadline
i man do not play that, a week or two behind i still count that as deadline, often thats when i get serious/ie desperate - a week or two i will accept, no mas - i do not miss deadlines, ima professional thru & thru
SUNDAY: 85:71 OF 115
ok, back in the saddle, clocked 11 pages yesterday, actually one day does not back in the saddle make but im thinking positive, also coming into play is my system, thats partly why i have those 2 days a week off
for catch up purposes, falling behind ocassionally is unfortunately part of the deal when you daily deadlining 3 sentences, (or is that 4) ohwell, bes like that sometime -
also something i came up w/yesterday i have to play with, clarify and gain mastery over it , so i can use it systematically in my texts, because i like to do it adhoc & making adhoc explicit is always good:
cascading trickeration - incongruent narrative conjunctions that make for intuitive revelation, back to back & breathless, every phrase, every word blowing the readers mind, expanding it relentless w/layers of speculative meaning, & understanding, o wow
found these two musicians when nyt had review of olatuja, and on one cut he was singing w/eska, so i hunted her down too, they both been added to rickydocs cosmic playlist, give you olatuja tomorrow - its all about pacing
you know one of the things i love about obama, he go against the blackfolk as loud and huffy puffy w/no followtru trope as you know dear regulators de old spiritdoctor been trying to work the black soul/psyche - culture for the more pedestrian inclined - transform its weaknesses into strength
obama is a good example of the new blackfolk that im trying to forge: he quiet, he deadly, serious about his longgame, serious about taking care of business, a new model of blackness
for our youngsters, thats what im talking about
SATURDAY 85:62 of 115
hello world, as you may have noticed ive been in an unproductive funk last week or so, so it may have been the best time, depending on how i respond to it, to receive the following 'fan' email:
========================
uh, mr hoodoo man,
it's been a very long time since i've visited your rootsblog website. to be honest, i really got tired of waiting for you to finish your book. pardon me if a little bit of my frustration, really anger, are reflected in my words. but, Mojo Rising: Confessions of a 21st Century Conjureman, 1 used on amazon.com for $150? WTF! W...T...F?
i really want to give u the benefit of the doubt, because i can't conjure up a reasonable explanation for the above situation. do u have a book publishing or book distribution problem? really, in the digital age of 2012? uh, ebook, Kindle book, or even old school paperback in your longgame?
how are you going to influence a generation of black folks with 1 used on amazon.com for $150? any other hidden back alleys where i may purchase your priceless tome?
and i won't even get started on De Mojo Blues. one of the best books i ever read. let's see, hmm, that was back around 1986. a story left unfinished, no muthaf..k..g sequel yet? 2012? shit, you could have made a harry potter-like series out of that. yea, u really hurt my spirit on that one mr hoodoo man. i still haven't recovered.
again, pardon my words, i must be a vessel dem bones are speaking through. cuz, what they're telling me is that your longgame is now a shortgame,
shake, shake...
=========================
ok, where do i start - one, aint nobody more frustrated than me that this novel not done - so thats that
two, i try to keep production commentary down to 1st two sentences per post, then move on to commentary
so hopefully there is a little more substance to the ride than me me me, but in the final analysis im all about constructing an artistic online avatar/traveling spirit & deep me is all about production
a struggle every wouldbe writer must engage and win
im just trying to make the ride interesting, the old enjoy the journey bit - trying to shape the production commentary so it will be useful guidance for any youngster struggling w/production
but ima have to tell you, like wolfie in amadeus, ultimately this is not for you, its for future generations who hopefully will want to study and understand my process, the struggle of I man working out my legacy
as for distribution issues, just dont have time to fuck with it, every discretionary moment goes into novel
when i finish (and sell) this manuscript, hopefully this woodshed, then i will have time/focus to do a lot of
backed up stuff, including digitizing (as in cuttingedge hypertext) RFTW, but i just got to be patient,
fact that all my books out of print fuck w/my head a lot more than it fuck with his
got to stick to my longgame not matter what it look like to the public, folk got to trust me, and if you dont trust me, fuck you too
i have to say this missive rocked me some - its value depends on how i use it, do i use it to get back in the saddle or do
i let it depress me further - its got to be the saddle, full of righteous i will show you fury - start slow rick, 3 hours a day
ok, is that it - o no, 1 copy of mojo rising: $150 dollars, i think thats kinda cute actually, 1 because that book is dated and i actually rather folk not read it, it embarrasses me, i plan to update it this break - patience puppy
then publish it myself, that one ima keep as mine, full control - im not giving that one to the industry
two i like having a book thats so rare and valued its an investment opportunity, i kinda like that, since its not apparently ever going to be a best seller (or even in print?) might as well go with the red door
and as for speaking to future generations who cant afford $150, or even $5, what the hell do you think im doing here
wasting time i could be working on RFTW is what, of which this post has used more than 2 sentences
hopefully i will be able to add some commentary later, for right now i got to get back to work - frustration? man you dont know the meaning of the word frustration, had to work on my cv today, thought about how
ive given the last decade of my life to this novel, (really two but we not going there) had to take c.v. into the office today and a colleague said hey arthur, i hear you having trouble letting that novel go, whats wrong
insert big sigh here
(i also experiment w/narrative licks here that end up in novel basically, like that little lick just then, ima use that one - insert big sigh here - o that was smooth rick, god i do so love to play - whoa, i believe that was another lick, rick, a boom shaka laka of cascading trickeration - how deep can you go, rick, how many layers can you put in a text, a word, thats what i want to know, just how good are you, i mean really . . .)
i been working on this novel fullcourt for a decade now, folk starting to look at me like my name is ellison i remember my 1st novel, 13 years, folk took to calling it, the phantom - hey art, how is the phantom coming
ha ha
fuck it, i got to get back to work, just put the world out of your mind rick, remember what babajohn said: future generations will not care about the pressures on you, they will not care about bills, tenure, or your ego
all they will have is the work, make it count, do your best
as for the fan i will tell him thanks for the kick in the ass, tell him to send me a mailing address and i will send him a copy of mojo rising, they are all up in my attic, boxes and boxes of them,
the publisher was going to trash them, they werent selling, they were just taking up her space, i trekked down to the city, packed them in the car, put them up into the attic, all i can do
i got to go, got to work that cascading trickeration riff into the novel some where
big sigh here, really big sigh
all my love
FRIDAY 85:62 of 115
hello world, im in a very complicated space o well, let me maintain
my girl etta james, queenmother of the blues, graduated today, may your work serve many generations
also momentus, trebor setag came out of his cave to bring this newsweek article to my attention on fb, he must have thought it was important, so do i, andrew sullivan showing
appreciation for obamas longgame - a must read for all the hardleft purist whining about obama doing this, obama aint done that, so you get a feel for how the longgame is played
and even sullivan dont see the full length of the game, some guy on huffpost was saying do we cripple the most progressive president weve had in a generation, just cause we not totally satisfied w/the way hes wove his game, and will we get a more progressive or less progressive (read romney or gingrich here) one to replace him,
and i might add have you really thought thru what a republican victory will entail, they have to be thoroughly repudiated at the polls or this political cancer of their irresponsible worldview represents will just grow stronger
i been sending obma money regular (which is very new for me) & when i went home i found sheree thomas doing precinct work, i was very impressed, i got to step up my game
obama strike me as a rightuous (as in want to do right) brother in a complicated spot
im tempted to say one more day of sloth and im back in the saddle, but thats just a recipe for never getting work done - its got to be today, tomorrow never comes
progressive friends keep trying to get me to put obama down, not going to happen, just look at the alternatives, i mean really, i agree with casca in a huffpost article this morning:
my progressive friends keep trying to get me to put obama down, he didnt do this, he did that - well, thats not going to happen - i agree w/casca in huffpost this morning:
"Should we undermine the most progressive-minded president in at least a generation and will his failure help or hurt the progressive cause? Will his failure pave the way for a more progressive president or a less progressive president? This is the debate on the left."
WEDNESDAY 75:62 of 115
i been out the loop and off the grid, and have not been productive, bes like that sometime, now i got to do catchup, everyonce in awhile my discipline goes out on me and i dissipate myself
god help me i am 15 pages behind, ok, if i get back to work and make the weekend i can make up the 15 then, maybe get a couple pages ahead during the week, focus rick, you can do this
i believe in you
SATURDAY 60:62 OF 115
hello world - as you can see i took the weekend off, as scheduled, supposed to have 65 by monday so i will be back in the saddle then, all i need is 3, it will be a cold day in hell when i cant get 3 pages - its all good
so, what do you think about colberts ad, i dont know what hes doing exactly with that super pac of his but it sure is interesting, boy taking farce into uncharted territory, no longer satisfied w/being an observer
he is positioning himself as a player, he keep playing this hard and he will be influential, just what that influence will be i hesitate to say, boy got a twisty mind - im impressed
3 pages, not my best day but im still ahead of the game, should be on pg 60 now according to schedule: ran up on a major hole thats going to require rewriting a couple of scenes to fix, bes like that sometime
ran across this photo online, every once in awhile i google arthur flowers just to see what comes up, this photo did, i look kinda impressive dont i, hunted down the provenance, the spitting image bookstore in ithaca,
so, have you seen newts romney/bain video yet, its worth watching - its obvious now why the repubs up in arms against him, if he doesn't backdown this dialogue will expose and clarify corporate raidship far more
effectively than the OWS movement could dream of, it will expose repub rhetoric for what it is and even more so because it comes from one of their own - when newt complained about how hard mitt came at him in iowa,
mitt told him to suck it up - now that they have to deal w/their one of their best kamikazes coming at them its going to be interesting to see how this plays out - it behooves those of us who actually care about
america to stir the pot, do it newt - okay, one more note and im gone,
this nation article, well written i thought, (ima keep an eye on this young brother) says that repub candidates no longer feel compelled to speak in racial codes, they very comfortable 'calling a spade a spade' he say
mostly because their base is cool with that and there is no electoral penalty for it these days, santorum w/his blah people, newts foodstamps (thats alright newt i forgive you, just keep tearing down romney & we cool)
they all pushing that blackfolk living off other peoples money bit (reparations anyone?) according to this article its the election of obama that has totally freaked the repub base out
all the more reason for me to get back to work - 3 page days will not get me to the promised land
well actually it will but not in a suitable timeframe
pray for me
THURSDAY: 55:62 of 115
hello world, im feeling really groovy, my minimum pageage yesterday was 50, i got 59 damn if that aint a groove, had a little time for nuance work, thats refreshing
moving well because its mostly mature manuscript w/rough patches, but im moving into 2nd half of novel now and its going to be tougher going because threads have to be wove
closure have to be satisfying
so far its been a great woodshed, my plan at this point is to:
- spend jan on a moneydraft (turn in to agent) of rest - feb on rewrite of mojo rising - mar: dig into hoodoo book of flowers: this 1 will take some months, lets say mar/apr/may - june - new lowresidency gig univ of tampa w/jeff parker - 10 days, 4 months online crits - jun, july, last draft RFTW - (if novel sold before then & editor asking for changes have to rescramble plan) - aug: annual study of the shortstory, start the hoodoo tales, my book of shorts
by mid aug got to start thinking schoolhouse again, shortstory study will seque into that nicely and somewhere in there will need a couple of weeks of zonked out postwoodshed rest
what i really want out of this is a clean RFTW and a viable draft of the hoodoo book of flowers: the great black book of generations, thats my real prority (viable meaning if i die before i get to next draft its ok)
HBOF: my hoodoo holybook, my sacred text, my african american way - not too many writers have pulled off viable holybooks i pull that off and it will shape many generations - for all practical purposes RFTW is a holybook too, a diff kind of sacred text
and you know something dear regulators, this time off make me realize, ima retire soon as i can been thinking i would keep teaching until about 70 because essentially i like teaching, it keeps me on
my toes, trying to keep up with my fledglings, trying to stay one step ahead of them but i think when i hit 66 im out, hopefully i still got a little energy left, some chops
ok, time to get back to work, the thing about the woodshed push is it doesnt matter how good you were yesterday next morning you got to gird your loins and do it again, the same battle against procrastination and diversion
being ahead of the curve takes out some of the anxiety, if i miss my goal today im still ahead of schedule but i know that weak days do not get you to the promiseland, weak days increase my anxieties about
about not having lived up to my literary potential before i die
not being after all the legacy i so hope to be
when im being productive thats when i feel like im being who im supposed to be i cant do anything (well much) about the way the world receives it, all i can do is
conduct myself as if i were in truth the force i aspire to be
write the books i know im supposed to write
i got to go, i got to meet the beast
all my love
rdoc
WEDNESDAY: 50:59 of 115
at 10 points single space (easier to carry around) novel is 115 pages, im doing 5 a day (10 in a doublespace count) starting today at 45, yesterdays count, todays count is 50 - did yesterdays 5, thats good, the big mo - tried to get a
little cushion but such is life, todays 5 will be hard, some scenes im still too close to, they dredge up emotional unease sometime pain, it take a certain
kind of will to ignore that & plow thru - some scenes/poems/chapters/stories they hard to rewrite, still too much emotional baggage tied to them, they the ones you have to step back & settle yourself, grit your
literary teeth & slog thru the pain, a professional thru & thru: writer got to do what a writer got to do &
a work dont cost you aint worth writing - ok i need to quit stalling, im going in - all my love
TUESDAY: 45:45 of 115
been awhile, been in the delta & on the road - low production, back in the cuse now & lookng forward to woodshed routine according to my schedule 5 pages a day (10 doublespace) will get me to promeland end of january, a draft to send to agent
just finished todays 5, 11:08 am, i think now i will try to get 5 pages ahead of game, a little cushion
ok - some commentary, a break, and back to work:
this my read for 2012: romney, crippled by bain attacks, wins nomination - ronpaul naders him w/3rd party run that sucks away repub voters unhappy w/romney/bain - meanwhile back at the ranch obama gives biden state and takes on hilllary as vice, landslide - or maybe just another fantasy, im good at those too
doing performance for africanstudentassoc univofmemphis april 6, im billed as deltagriot done good -
o im going to enjoy this, the downhome special, full regalia: bells on my ankles, medicine coat & adorned in 101 talismans, rattle in my hand & working the prophetic - & when i step on stage so adorned their initial response will be who is this afroam pretender, then ima show them how we do it in the delta, show them afroams havent lost their chops, ima let myself go, unleash the full monty
this the kind of venue i live for, representing, ima rock the house and elevate they spirits - oldschool
& i believe its the anniversary of mlks death, a day of service got to keep that in mind, while im rocking the house
im out, takes me days to recover from the road nowdays, old boy aint the roadwarrior he used to be - dont mean i aint
gon kick it, just take me a minute to recover - all my love
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