FRIDAY
going to a monastery tomorrow thats on top of a mountain, spose to be spectacular
hopefully it will give me some inspiration because this holybook project is seriously frustrating me
bad boy been humbling me
one thing that’s becoming clear to me is that this divination structure im working will not be enough
to inspire generations upon generations to live and die by it, need stories for that, sacred stories
esoterics and good advice will not be enough to move folk from the established religions to adopt this Way,
I got to do some serious biblic quality storytelling to inspire that kind of devotion - which is kinda cool
an interesting craft challenge for a mystically inclined writer such as myself,
i look at it as a creative nonfiction project, divine storytelling, sacred history
this is in addition to being a better Way - that ive already figured out, a new way has to be a better way than the ways it would supplant, if I want this way to be competitive with other global traditions that are already mature, insitutionalized, and devoteed - its got to be a better Way
its got to be better than christanity, better than islam, better than
buddhism, hinduism, et al, its got to be a greater Way
the reason the african way of god has been supplanted all over africa is because its archaic
christanity and islam are better ways - for instance when islam conquered north africa,
mohammed bis saif, mohammed by the sword,
the mossi calvary actually fought off the islamic hordes, but then many mossi chose to convert
because in the mossi tradition nobles had rights to use commoners wives as they saw fit
then you got stuff like animal sacrifice, etc etc - the african way of god has to be brought up to date,
enlightened & illluminated -thats why im positioning hoodoo as the prophetic tradition of the atr family
(also because the prophetic is the power position, & lord knows ima power freak - but then what wouldbe
prophet aint, telling whole cultures do what i say and your generations will thrive, ignore me and they will suffer)
my basic position is if a culture is weak its because its spiritual tradition is weak, the
judgment of a good tradition is the quality of life of its adherent culture and believers
and wherever in the world you got blackfolk they are on the bottom of their respective societies, at the sametime
i got to move beyond tribalism into universalism, got to serve both my families, blackfolk & all humanity
got to be a better Way, thats a given, but in terms of delivery, its got to be some damn good storytelling, that sacred storytelling - so ive moved the storysection up a notch, because I got to get to the sacred storytelling as aoon as possible, whole thing got to be shaped thru sacred narrative
also im being seriously humbled when I think of the bible, koran, vedas, ifa, iching, etc - based on what im coming up with I don’t know that I am capable of that kind of luminousity – previous drafts of this book have failed on that point
and when I compare what im doing to the sacred tarot by the brotherhood of life, another influential work,
my esoteric knowledge is not up to stuff either - man, im just being hammered with my inadequacies
I keep reminding myself its an earlydraft rick, earlydrafts are never
good, just keep plugging away, maybe I will grow unto the task
I need to lower my sights and just write a good spiritual work, basic creative nonfiction, but ive never been able to lower my sights - that damned, or rather that blessed novel took me almost 20 years because it had to be a masterpiece, couldnt just be a good novel, had to be a masterpiece
so ofen in the literary world, consciously going for a masterpiece cause you to overwrite and blow it, but dammit joyce did it, chamoiseau and marquez did it, they went for masterpieces and they created masterpieces, ima try too, and i will accept whatever I get, if i blow it i blow it, damn if i aint gon try
right now HBOF feels like trash, but that novel felt like trash up till about 3 years ago when after 15 years of effort it finally started working - so ima keep my ambitions high for this work but im kinda discouraged it will make the cut - in my heart ive lost faith but that dont mean you put the effort down
feel like one of those reach for the sun, accept the moon kind of efforts,
cept in this case, its reach for the sun and cant get out the mud
one other point, im designing this work to be transmedia, found out thats the word for what I want to do w/my Works, a work that is a printwork and an app and/or whatever - not just an ebook but an interactive app, transmediawork, I want all my works to be transmedia from now on, 21st century stylee
right now this my structure, been working it all week and mostly just giving up on making it ‘right’, I just got to kinda work with what I got and let it work itself out in the doing, I had a 81 movement structure (9x9) but it was just too unwieldy
1M INITIATION
1) CONDITION 18) ADVERSITY 35) MINISTRY
2) CONSCIOUSNESS 18) RESILIANCE
3) TRIAL & TRIB 20) GROWTH 6M DESTINYWORK
4) WILL 21) VICTORY 36) VISION
5) ACTION 37) WISDOM
6) MANIFESTATION 4M EMPOWERMENT 38) CONJURATION
7) TRANSFORMATION 22) MOJO 39) JOURNEYS
23) STRATEGY 40) SIGNIFICANCE
2M LIFEWORK 24) DESTINYWORK 41) STEWARDSHIP
8) YOUTH 25) ALLIANCE 42) IMMORTALITY
9) EDUCATION 26) INSTITUTIONALIZATION
10) WORK 27) POWER 7M IRIE GRACE
11) LOVE 28) LONGGAME 43) SERENITY
12) FAMILY 44) ILLUMINATION
13) MATURITY 5M SERVICE 45) MASTERY
14) AGING 29) CUSTODIANSHIP 46) HOLYGROUND
30) EMPOWERMENT 47) GRACE
3M THE CHANGES 31) LEADERSHIP 48) FA
15) DEATH 32) SACRIFICE 49) GODHOOD
16) CROSSROADS 33) GUIDANCE
17) HEALTH 34) HEALING
this my current breakdown, who knows what it will be tomorrow
then under each movement I got 7 segments - 1) progressions, 2) representatives/haints - an afroam pantheon, for instance harriet tubman, the great conductor, for 39: journeys - o great conductor, she who never lost a passenger, see me safely home - 3) story/hist, 4) the tradition, 5) longgame, 6) illuminations, and 7) thegeasofrickydoc
i actually prefer 9 point structures because 9 a more hoodoo specific number but
that 81 movements was killing me - the puzzle became too complex for me
what im seeing now is that the stories I tell under story/hist and longgame have to be serious
biblic quality sacred storytelling, a coherent sacred narrative like the old and new testaments
sacred narratives is where folk live and breath when it come to holyworks
one of the major challenges im working with is that I got a different relationship with god than those early guys did, they didn’t know what they were talking about, that tribal god made in our own image bit
thats a primitive, silly interp of god, modern folk who have studied the formative dynamics of religion know thats not enlightened - problem is thats the kind of god humans comfortable with - but its not enlightened
folk know in their hearts that god is not some great bearded patriarch sitting on a golden throne in heaven, or olympus, or wherever, and you dont get no 30 virgins when you die - please, spare me -
folk quick to call other folks religious mythologies false but their own they will kill for
I got to be a better Way – I tell you this project more than a notion, im just as lost as I can be
my hope is that even if i fail to hang w/the other historical masters it will still be a uniquely powerful product
either way doesnt matter, ima keep struggling with it, and have faith that god the universe is going to look
out for me, that god the universe is ready for a different relationship with humanity, im just an instrument
im outta here, i got so much work to do, id say a good decade (hopefully not 2) of work, right now all i want
is a full draft before the fall semester starts - i just hope i dont die or am otherwise incapcitated before im done
when you a longgame player, every project is a negotiation w/god
just give me this one more book, lord - then i will be satisfied
finishing my novel was a burden off my soul
if i die tomorrow ima shrug & count my blessings
but 10 more productive years and im good to go
to a certain extent i got to withdraw from the world
im in a race against time - tick tock
my works are consciously designed to evolve w/time
as a longgame player time is my primary canvas
the industry dissing me because my work read strange in my own time, but hopefully
future generations will be like damn flowers, you wrote the hell out that one
all my love
rdoc
THURSDAY
man im tired, between class prep and struggling w/my holybook im wore out
finished latest draft of novel last week & sent it to agent to go back on the market
so now im trying to get a draft of my holybook, the hoodoo book of flowers
a divination structure, a la iching and/or ifa and its kicking my ass
i literally have about 700 pages of notes from previous drafts, et al
and trying to work up a 49 (7x7) movement structure to string them on,
and its just a big mess, i had planned to work it this sabbatical but when Rest kept getting rejected
i kept hitting it again and again to make it stronger, which was a blessing, because it is stronger
which is probably the most important thing in my life and legacy right now, my wouldbe masterpiece, but now its time
to focus on this 20 year effort holybook, ive done drafts based on biblic and koranic formats that did not work
now im using a divination format, which so far is not working either, much less being luminous
but i dont have any choice but to keep struggling w/it, been dreaming of this holybook for 20 years now
the hoodoo book of flowers: the great black book of generations, if i dont do it now when will i
i can hear the clock ticking tick tock, dont have but so much more functional time on the planet
i want to write an african american sacred text, built on african american history, culture and destiny, an afroam
worldview, in a holybook that will stand w/the bible, the koran, the iching, the ifa corpus, the hindu texts, etc etc
so i guess i shouldnt be complaining that its difficult, if it was easy anybody could do it, i fear the final
product will be a shallow farce thats not competitive w/the classics but that wont stop me from trying
when i leave china a month from now i want a draft, rough and ugly it may be i want a draft
last week i bought this laotse bronze that spoke to me for inspiration, one of my fellow travelers
i want to hang with him & jesus & mohammed & buddha & them - i know i know, lacking
in humility - what can i say, win or lose ima go for it, but thats what i like about being a writer
my novel, rest for the weary, is about a hoodoo sorceror who aspires to be a prophet - working on a
holybook - are you surprised - o wouldbe prophet of the hoodoo way - a visionary trained in the line of o killens
in the novel he fails, just as i have to date, but its failure make the best stories dont you think
and holybooks are strictly longgame, the judgement wont be in for generations upon generations
all i got to do is write it, im not going to worry about how its received - holybook and/or novel its all good
as it is my novel just a different type of holybook, either i succed or i write about failing - either way i
get product - either way i win
all my love
rdoc
TUESDAY
okay, didnt realize i could still do this - i have been locked out of fb, twitter and gmail
and my internet connections real real spotty, i assumed typepad was down too
i had fb for a minute, then i started talking about my experience and boom i didnt have it
twitter and gmail have not had period - ima mispell names in case in tripping monitoring software
let me say though, that i been having a ball, a natural born ball, 1st time theyve done it here in chengda (sp)
so there have been glitches, 1st they put us in this hourly motel type hotel w/toilets where you squat over a hole in the floor, that didnt work, wasnt even no handlebars for a brother, i was telling one of the women
professors that you really had to have your aim together, she said at least youve had practice, one dude
from newyork here w/his wife turned around and left with the quickness, other professors threatened to -
so they moved us into a much nicer hotel, my students are cool, students from area getting
summer school creds for schools back in the states, even got one from the cuse
every weekend they take us on some kind of cultural excursion, last weekend we did the wensha(sp)
monastery, the schischan(sp) opera - etc, i had heard whensha had good vegetarian meals so i
asked my TA to take me back during lunch, sun, we went & wandered around looking for the restaurant and
mr clueless wandered into the restricted area where monks and believers eat, so im sitting there in this
cafeteria by myself and suddenly it was inundated with monks and believers, they commence to chanting
and i commence to chanting along with them, 30 mins or so, i enjoyed the chanting as much as i did the food
best meal ive had incountry, broccoli even, my favorite vegetable, and very cool monasterial ambiance
my TAs werent allowed in but nobody threw me out, cause i was already sitting there when it started and couldnt speak chinese so nobody could tell me i wasnt supposed to be there, so they decided buddhanature let me stay,
everybody was really nice to me, indulgent and helpful when it became clear i didnt know
what i was doing they brought me bowls, even brought me a spoon when i
fumbled the chopsticks, the monks kept smiling at me, so did most of the believers
found out later my TAs told them i was a buddhist but i dont think we fooled anybody
apparently this part of the country they dont get a lot of tourists so i dont know that theyve seen many black
folk before, everywhere i go i get stared at and the children (like these two) think im some kind of
walking entertainment system, ive had googabs of folk ask to take a picture with me and i ham it up for
them, people has been very friendly for the most part and then there some dont quite know what to
do with me, i smile at everybody, even the ones that are just staring - most when i smile at them they
break out laughing and smiling and waving, only had one bad experience where i realize dude was
laughing at me rather than smiling with me, the giveaway was when he
yelled something about "the jungle", i believe they was chinese rude boys
i believe ima close down shop, im tired, i been riding buses all around the city all evening
trying to figure out the bus system so i can get around w/o having to pantomine w/the taxis
figured out how to get to whensha monastery on my own today, now i got to figure out jinla
and wide/narrow street, we going to some monastery on qimchi mountain this weekend
ima keep mispelling names and being kinda obscure, being locked out of fb was a wakeup call, dont want
to get locked down any further - some of my collegues were like you can get around that by such and such
and im like no thankyou, i dont want to be playing cat and mouse w/these folk, a month and a half a long time to go without internet, and i might want to come back, dont want to get on no blacklist - im laying low
some of the writers im teaching in my litclass a little more political than im comfortable with but
i couldnt help myself, you know how i feel about literature, if it aint trueforce whats the point
fb is not important to me, literature is
teaching forches 'the colonel' today - carefully
all my love
rdoc
Sounds like a wonderful trip. Thanks for the update !!
Posted by: Karen Simpson | July 12, 2012 at 11:38 AM