SUNDAY
well, i finished the phase, maybe friday i finished, was thinking i had 400 odd pages
but when i printed it out i realize thats at 10 point singlespace, 12 doublespace ive
got 900 and something, what the hell, lets say a 1000, its humongous, no wonder it
was tedious - now ive got to go section by section and make it real, im thinking it
will take a year or so, hopefully not more, so lets give this month and november to
RFTW rewrite, ive taken a couple of blows lately and need the reassurance of watching
rest grow, fumbled my workshop recently, took a couple of body blows
and the whole semester been nothing but catchup
much as i complain about the schoolhouse
i love teaching young writers, even when i fumble
which is often & humblingly so - and i love running
good workshops, sometime i sit there listening to my students discussing
their earnest attempts to engage the human condition thru their works
and im shocked sometime they actually pay me to do this
i have in my life been truly blessed
ok, time to dig back into rest for the weary
only reason i can think of that the gods would
put me on hold like this is that i get a chance to make it
a better novel - 1st thing is to just read thru it, make notes
on what i got, speculations on what i could have
who knows what ima do with it this time
only thing certain, it will be a stronger,
richer, novel - god i love the game
buked and scorned, tattered and torn
god i love the game
working on my holybook feed my novel
working on my novel feed my holybook
its hard to explain - god i love the game
rdoc
TUESDAY
well it look like romney took obama to school
hes now ahead in some polls, obama has lost
all that ground he fought so hard for this summer
it would depress me if i let it,
considered going to an obama phone bank this weekend and didnt, guess i will roll
on by there this weekend, send him another check tonight - boy got his back up against
the wall now, im kinda mad at him for shooting himself in his own foot, but i got so many
footwounds myself no sense in me throwing stones at him, ima have to get his back
as for the polls and the ups and downs, ima tune them out
i remember when i had to tune out the last time he ran
focus on getting my own work done, obama got his
mission, i got mine
i will be thru with this recasting phase of THBOF sometime this week
god im so glad to be thru with this, man this has been tedious
and i had to get ruthless about cutting out some schoolhouse time to do it too
every week is catch up because i take the weekend for my work, i just take it
so the plan was to start on the making this mess of notes real manuscript
but i got about 400 pages of mess and i see its going to take about a year
so what ima do is when i finish this phase ima do me a draft of rest for the weary
rest is a mature work, it take about one or two months to do a rewrite of it these days
my position right now is that life/the industry is kicking my ass, but i dont play that, im flipping that
in the time that ive been waiting for that book to sell, ive rewritten it twice and its twice as good
as it was, as long as ive got it in my hands ima hit it again every time i finish
a draft of the hoodoo book of flowers,
making rest a betterbook is the only reason i can think of that the gods of literature would
have put me on hold like this, and one of the challenges of it right now is dramatizing highjohns
attempt at writing a holybook
i kinda look forward to hitting it again, making it a better book - some folk look at me askance
you gone do what, hit it again, you been hitting that book over 15 years, you are an obsessive
duuh . . . damn right ima obsessive, thats the only way big books get done
and you got to understand i was trained by babajohn killens and one of his precepts was the book is
forever, take the time to leave the most powerful product you capable of - all im doing now is what i call
poetry rewrites - the book is intensely lyrical, a booklength prosepoem, poetry rewrites you just working
the poetry, you working words and phrases when one word can add layers of meaning to the whole text
poetry rewrites are fun actually, for an old literary bull like me -
and im being forced by the industry to do them to my novel
making it infinitely more resonant a literary instrument each time, the gods have
determined that this be so, i thought i was through, but i bow to their greater wisdom
ive got it on the market so ive done my part, meanwhile ima keep working it
that novel is going to redeem me - the industry/gatekeepers/literaryworld/reality & anybody
else who has ever dissed me will have to step back, i am confident my novel
is the real thing, it is a gamechanger
and i dont care if, after it is published, it is not well received and lauded, it is a true work
and i submit it for the judgment of the generations - with this attitude i am pretty much
insured against ever being truly dismayed, i just got to make sure the product is
strong enuf to do what it got to do - be so great a work that i can not be denied
one more draft and it shall even further more shine, be true Work
(and reduce my anxieties but thats not the point) - the point is making great novels is all
ive ever wanted to do - and at this late date making one great novel will have to suffice
this is a win or die situation for me, or rather win and die - that and finishing my holybook, those are
the two victories i would like to take to my grave (and some family matters but thats another story)
can you imagine - if i pull it off, one of the worlds great holybooks - thats a gamechanger too
the other factor im looking at is i have grown in the process of trying to write this holybook
in just the last 3 or 4 months, its been like this effort to organize my cosmology - my vision
of human destiny, my obsession with having in hand in shaping it
this immersion in about 20 years of my efforts to be true spiritual force, historical, mythical
engaging younger versions of myself struggling w/issues i am still trying to coherently manifest
i tell my students all the time to be careful what long form projects you choose
you grow in the direction of the project, it will shape you
ive tried earlier drafts of this holybook
and none of them have worked, much less been numinous, but now, at 62, its like
life has disabused me of so many illusions, now i see -
and i got Craft like never before
reality continues to dis me, and
my body is falling apart but my mind &
my soul my spirit are soaring
i am rickydoc
SUNDAY MORNING
hello world, schoolhouse running me ragged, i had approx 100 pages left of this
tedious moving old text into new structure phase at the beginning of the semester
and a month in, i still got about 90 odd pages, i went from about a 25 page a day schedule to zip
getting tired of being a working man, got to start looking at retirement - after much spinning of
wheels, finally got serious, ie desperate and now im busting pages, inch by inch im busting pages,
looking forward to next phase - making all these raw notes into coherent text
was hoping id get thru this phase this weekend but it dont look like it,
about halfway thru the pile - but i got to prepare for class mon & tues, got to
i do not accept not being prepared for class, looking bad in front of my students
so, one more week and i will be thru with this phase, its been so tedious
im as desperate to get work done w/this thing as i was w/rest
if not more so because i hear that clock ticking away, tick tock, and an ongoing
fullcourt press breaks the body down, you can feel yourself using up
mojo at an accelerated rate - i think when i finish this 'draft' ima do a revision of
rest for the weary, i think i am a different person now than the last time i finished it
and will deliver an enhanced, more sophisticated product,
was trying to figure out how i can say i feel like a different person from a couple
months ago and i realize its the holybook, the project itself, its reprogramming me
also interesting is im thinking my target market is the
generations to come, i would like to impress readers now
and the gatekeepers and the litcrit folk, but the audience i really
care about are the generations to come
and instead of chilling out as i get older i get more desperate
to get my work done, to leave a singificant legacy behind
this holybook and the best rest for the weary that could have ever been
and boy will i be satisfied that i have lived the good life
slide on into home with the crowd chearing in my ears
beat up, tore down, grinning all the way
just cut a deal with tara books to do a brer rabbit collection
i had fun with it, they asked me to do it conventional
but i just wasnt able, wasnt having no fun less i did it like i do it
so i did it like i like, my own stylee, it was brer rabbit for christsake
working the dialect has always been part of the brer rabbit corpus
joel chandler harris took them for his purposes, im taking them back for mine
so i sent in what i had, told them i would do whichever stories they choose
conventional but ima reserve the right to sell it as is - but lo and behold
they said art we like it like it is - boy that tara press they just let me be me
they been such a blessing to me, so i got another book coming out with them
with a ghond(?) artist this time, i have been so blessed in my life
i love being a writer, this is just the best life i could have ever chosen
and i love helping my students make the cut
best i prepare for my classes
all my love
rdoc
FRIDAY
hello all
been under the gun, schoolhouse got me rolling
posting spotty, going to rework rootwork.com
soon as i get a chance, its as embarassing now
as it was before, ohwell, one keeps trying
my read on the debate, okay so obama got had
he didnt want to get into a head to head because
that fucks w/his gravitas but he is going to have to back romney up
and i suspect he was dumbfounded by how blatantly romney was etch a sketching
if it sounds good romney will say it, no matter how blatant the okeydoke
but obama was flat on his feet, he didnt pivot into a new battle formation
he had been prepared for old romney and his teleprompter let him down
got to work on his mackology
obama got a reprieve with the good employment numbers
in about a week they go at it again, i was reading somewhere
that incumbents never do well the 1st debate, they too accustomed to being
leader of the freeworld and kinda resent that they have to clownshow again
but its clear that romney come to play, think he gone work it like he did gingrinch
obama gon have to throw some mack daddy on him
and me, i got to get back to work, im in a tedious phase thats hard to stick with
moving like molasses, swimming underwater, step by step, inch by inch
slowly we turn
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