TUESDAY 12/19
hello world, been making posts so rarely i believe ima have to start dating them
been buried as usual, still got manuscripts from last semester i owe folk
cant wait no longer though, been doing rewrite in the morning, manuscripts in the evening
theoretically - truth is if i dont get novel done in the morning nothing else gets done either
period - so right now, bonnie had bunionwork done on her foot and is out for a couple of months
usually im in the delta for xmas but im doing caretaker duties now, bonnie does not expect me to
be a good caretaker, she thinks ima be the self absorbed artiste i generally am around the house, so i call myself
stepping up, prove to her ima be a good caretaker, that i got her back, then blam, right after getting her foot cut
she caught the flu - i been pampering her, she deserve a little pampering and i know she would me
it dont really take that much time out of my work day, and its been a revelation, what it take to keep
the household running smooth, and still keeping my schedule up, the novel is a 25 page a day schedule
reading manuscripts in evening, last semesters leftovers, and prep for my lit success course - its a grind
been back & forth about whether im going to invite all theses alums to discuss their works, the logistics
of it is daunting, but they seem to be excited about the idea and it will make the class special
also it will contribute to the forging of what im calling the cuse mob - its all good
also started my cosmology push, trying to figure out how the universe work, been planning to do this
for sometime now, recently signed up for a coursera course introductory astronomy, but im not a course
kinda guy, but i get these class notices and im keeping up my way, reading and research, reading
an intro astro text now, a very good one - in prep for reading - masks of the universe by edward harrison,
on how art and science has depicted the universe over the years, got
from eternity to here: the quest for the ultimate theory of time by seancarroll waiting,
you get the idea, i want to know how the universe works, enhance my longgame vision of human destiny/evolution, which is what i need to inform my futurescenarios thread, want to think on a bigger scale, make my longgame longer
my concern now is that ima ladden my novel with undigested cosmic speculation and be obvious and
clumsy in my claim to cosmology, but since nobody seems interested in buying the thing anyway i will
have time to let it settle organically, more gracefully inform both text and vision
im kinda amazed sometime that im taking on a new knowledge quest at this late stage in the game, im way
too old and tired to be trying to figure out how the universe works, human destiny & evoution no less
then again it kinda tickle me that industry (and middleaged realitycheck) be damned i still dream big
been a revelation going thru on this rewrite, i was hoping it would be a dotting Is crossing Ts kind
of thing, but its been months since i last looked at it and you know what that means dear regulators -
a real rewrite, curses be
i been appalled at what i been reading, thinking god help me, is this what i been showing to people
it took a minute before i was able to ignore my dismay and keep hitting it, its kinda funny that its only
because its been on the market for so long that i keep hitting it and making it stronger (& stronger)
which is okay with me, cause in the final analysis thats whats important to me, to leave behind the
strongest novel that it can possibly be, its embarassing to keep telling folk my novel still unsold
but im grateful for every chance i get to hit it again and make it stronger, one thing when i hit it
these days i hit it with more literary humility than i have done in the past, thats a good thing
makes me more attentive to making sure my little narrative innovations working innovations
i got to go, i got a 25 pages a day count, which is pushing it, but it will give me a draft by the end of the year
so far im on schedule, but its a daily grind, and if i dont make the daily cut, dont nothing else get done
the literary life, i dont have to tell you how much i love it - bonnie, all laid up w/the flu, foot propped on a pillow
still all concerned about my daily grind, when are you going to get some rest she say, aint no rest for the
weary i tell her as i reel about, only way to clock pages on this level of the game is to be unreasonable about it
reasonable people do not great novelists make
nor high magicians and viable cosmologists
all my love
rdoc
SATURDAY 12/9
hello world
you may have noticed oldboy been off the grid
i been in a funk, end of the year coming and my novel still aint sold
that mean its been a year and a half my novel been on the market
i am truly perplexed, its been clear for awhile now it would be a difficult sell, but this is
ridiculous, and by now my agent must be into the tinhouse/graywolf territory ive always
depended on to come thru, ohwell, i just got to keep pushing - schoolhouse finally let me go
still got manuscripts i got to get back to folk on, these last couple of weeks been all front
just holding on till the bell ring, i figure another week of putting these last manuscripts to bed and i got
about a month of woodshed, not really woodshed, i got to get that forms course together
but it is what it is, woodshed enuf - so i finally this morning picked up REST manuscript, decided
ima give mornings to RFTW no matter what and hopefully work my way to full days in a
week or so, so i started out my usual redpenning the hardcopy then i decide do it digital so i go to computer
and im moving real deliberate and im noting where i can take it to newground and then i struggle with
the text right then and there and so far its working, i believe im taking it to newground, who knows what
im really doing to it, probably have to hit it one more time just to clean up excess corn im laying down
and apparently the industry doesnt care what i do to it, its been soundly
rejected, fortunately my agent is a true believer, a little while back i emailed her and apologized for being
such a problematic artiste, not exactly a profit center, she told me not to worry, she got my back on this one
industry all been pretty consistent in what they ask me to do to win it and i have soundly rejected it
they want me to conventionalize my narration and that just aint gon happen at this stage in the game
i would if i could but i just dont know how, lord knows i have tried but this what the Work demanded
all i can do with this novel at this point is make it do what it does better - so, this rewrite i want to
take it to higherground, make it more surely reflect the vision of what it can be
and you know something dear regulators, i still believe in this novel
with all my literary heart i think i have written a game changer
and aint nothing gon convince me otherwise
i still got a taste of the blues
im still a desperate man
but im doing what i was born to do
clocking pages
all my love
rdoc
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