SUNDAY
man i am struggling w/this text, i am crawling, still on first segment, lets say 1st 9, i found
working them as sections to be more effective, a lot of this wheel spinning is me learning
the right process for turning these notes into text, its such a jumbled mess, but im moving
and its got potential of being something wonderful but i think ima restrain myself from telling
folk about it, ima just say im working on a new novel and/or holybook, but when i try to explain it
to folk its feels presumptuous, ima withdraw from the fray and dig in, other than family &
schoolhouse/paycheck
im out of the game
my level of frustration is climbing, its harder to keep the faith these days
fact that my novel been on the market so long got me questioning my literary
game, maybe just maybe im not the writer ive always hoped to be
maybe just maybe im delusional after all - and all i can do is buckle down and try harder
to produce the kind of work that the generations will not be able to ignore
ause i like my lick and im determined to make it so strong it cannot be deniedand if i fail i just fail, i enjoy my life, i enjoy working, writing my little books of power,
i got basic respect, i get paid, if i dont get no more than this so be it
ima write what i want to write, whats the point of being an olddog w/tenure
if i cant write what i want to write - if i fail i fail, fuck it, ima keep dong what i do
trying to do it better, the gods of literature must want to keep me hungry
ran across this on facebook, just stashing it here:
“Create dangerously, for people who read dangerously. ... Writing, knowing in part that no matter how trivial your words may seem, someday, somewhere, someone may risk his or her life to read them.”
Edwidge Danticat
WEDNESDAY
its killing me, fucker is killing me, im just moving words around on the page
still in the first 9, doing them in batches of nine, was looking for a missing passage
and went into a draft 3 drafts previous and it was reading smoother than what im doing now
you just got to have faith, keep slogging thru the narrative mud and assume it will pan out
so i been claiming obama doesnt really want to go to syria, but imt hinking now maybe he does
but he truly decided that if he does it alone and it goes south he will be severely crippled
i see he got boehner(s) and cantor to go along and i shudder to think what he promised that got them to on board, i see where he promised mccain more support for the rebels, when obama starts promising congree
behind close doors is when i hold on to my hat cause i like my hat and obama likely to give it away
so annie and sara asked me to officiate at their wedding ceremony, i tried to wiggle off but annie
was like arthur please do it and i am not capable of deny annie liontas anything, folk come thru here
and they bond with certain faculty, its a strictly random kind of thing, and me and annie bonded
and im tickled she and sara decided to do the do so there i was, officiating and just as nervous as
i could be, but afterwards a bunch folk (okay, 3) said i had delivered a 'good sermon'
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