WEDNESDAY
so basically i dont know what to do w/myself now, been
doing maintenance work like taxes (2012) & exercising
(& rootsblog) that get put aside when im crunching it
what i really need to do is slush work for hoodoo book of flowers:
finish getting thru unesco history of africa, 7 volumes
finish transforming about 800 pages of notes into coherent text
but god help me both of those are slushwork phases that i just dont want
to spend weeks and months doing instead of working on manuscript
(just thought, got to put rootwork.com and rootwork press on my to be done
list, too) - but i got to be working on a major project (book) to feel worthwhile
im such an overachiever, cant just write a novel, its got to be a masterpiece novel
cant just write a self help book, its got to be an afrospiritual holybook, an
african american way - who am i to think i could found a Way
i wish sometime i was a well adjusted individual without the cripplingly low
self esteem that drive me to be historical, to reach so high im likely to fail
but as you know, dear regulators, ima desperate man, and
if low self esteem contribute to product & product significance
im cool with that
all my love
rdoc
TUESDAY
hello world, just did a poetry draft and its reading clean, ima do one more redpen
and if it reads as clean as its reading ima send it off, still would be cleaner if i
give it june so i will judge but right now im tired of it, ima send it off to fly
still plan to work on it all summer but if somebody is going to buy it they will
on what it is now, and i want to work on the hoodoo book of flowers
my african american holybook, the great black book of generations
i feel like ive nailed rest, but ive felt that way before, and if its still on
the market next year i might hit it again but i feel like its done
i i was to die tomorrow i would feel comfortable leaving what i got behind
im ready for the next work - the hoodoo book of flowers, and ifeel
my mortality these days, the clock is ticking, got to get on it
tick tock
rdoc
MONDAY
i love poetry drafts, poetry drafts are like linework, so this is the passage i had to work with:
John Henry believe God give every man a gift. The one thing he can do nobody else can. A man fortunate to find his gift in the world and this what I do. I drive steel. And I aint gon be remembered as the man got beat by no machine. Not John Henry. Not today.
this is the revision:
John Henry believe God give everybody on the planet a gift. The one thing nobody else can do. Not like you do it. You fortunate to find your Fa in the world and this what I do. I drive steel. And I aint gon be remembered as the man got beat by no machine. Not John Henry. Not today.
ok, not only did i sidestep that inadvertant sexism charge there, but using 2nd person to avoid it i was able to address the reader, break the wall, and play Fa games, i love it, change a couple of words, add layers of meaning to the text, whats not to love - ok, enuf distraction, back to work
the key thing in a productive woodshed is brute discipline, clocking pages, hour after hour after hour
sll my love
rdoc
SUNDAY 5/18
been reading articles pro and con about inviting/disinviting condi to campus
my position is that if she is going to deliver insightful commentary about her
bush/iraq years, about herself and her party, reflective tonals, i am willing to listen
but if all she gon do, as she has done on forums lately, is parrot repub dogma
like 'benghazi bad' i can give her speeches myself
she got nothing to say to me, she just an out of work
mercenary
SUNDAY 5/17
thought i was thru, made mistake of reading thru
back in the saddle again, halfway thru a redpen
no serious glitches so i aint crying but im tired of trying
im just tired o lord im weary in my soul but i guess thats
what woodsheds are for, mostly these are poetry drafts now
takes about a week id say, ima still send it off at end of month
i guess the goal is to get as many of these readthrus done as possible
wonder if i should give it june too, that will make it tight, im just so
desperate to work on something else, the strong move will be to keep working it
after 20 years whats 20+ more days, if it will make it a stronger work
w/a june deadline i get 3 readthrus instead of 1, 3 layers of polish instead of one
and in the arts, dear regulators, its attention to detail that make a masterpiece
the poetry drafts are kinda amazing, when all you doing is working the poetry
when one phrase, one word, can add layers of meaning to the text
but i got to tell you dear regulators, all the joy is gone, its just slogging
thru the narrative mud now, its just what i do
rdoc
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