thur 6/26
hello world, i find yesterdays miss repub primary to be interesting
apparently the black vote made a diff, maybe not as much
as the news reports suggest but a diff, they crosssed over
to vote in repub primary after old boy thad reached out to them
in order to deny the racebaiting tea party guy the vote
wasnt like thad was a bargain but better than oldschool dogwhistles other fellow
was putting out - thats pretty clear game, but the national dems were hoping
that a rightwing idiot nominee would give them a shot at the miss seat
but the local blacks said thats not a chance they were willing to take
blacks are 37% in the delta, id like them to keep this sense
of political agency going, hope they maintain, i was reading
about iraq, said military strategy is clear, hold and somethng else
probably advance, whatever it was the article was saying only reason
the mlitants can do it is if the tribes are cooperating on the hold
let me not get into this, i was going to hook all this up w/the miss vote
but it will require more than im willing to give right now
im gone, my goal is to maintain production discipline while hanging tough in beijing
when i come back im going to have a viable draft of the hoodoo book of flowers, abridged
the real draft is going to be fictional, i already see it, at least the 1st draft of it
this will be like the historical, spiritual, strategic, speculative, framework - nonfiction
then i plan to frame it all in a quest of highjohn the conqueror, through time & space & realities
with stories for each of my 81 afrospiritual haints worked into coherent mythwork, etc etc - its going
to take me a decade at the least to pull that off clean, i cant imagine that im going to make it
but that wont stop me from trying - likely this will be one of those work on it till i die and then its done
projects, need to keep that in mind as i make drafts over the next decade or so, each one might be
the last, which is why im knocking off this abrtidged version, plus that w/destinywork you
never know whats going to take, just might be the work you consider a throwoff, and when
you look at the cultural impact of the bible, the koran, iching, et al, straightup holywork aint bad
its the holywork as fiction part thats a gamble
okay, lets not look at the long focus, thats depressing, lets stay focued on what has to be done
today, this month, this woodshed - transforming all this dreck into a coherent destinical narrative,
straight up holywork, nonfiction
not even a real challenge
nonfiction, you put the hours in, you get the product
as opposed to the phase two tour de force
thats a challenge im likely to lose
thats the best kind
im out
rdoc
wed 6/25
hello world, nothing really to say, just feel like i should
i was telling ana the other day that it was on a bus from ny to la
broke & busted & fleeing a cocaine jones, ie pretty much rock bottom, some 30 years ago
decided to go to la and start over, where nobody knew my names
no money for food, reading free material in busstops, it was a real hardrock place i was in
when i happen upon a watchtower magazine that talked about the bible as holybook
point was why it was such a good holybook, and it had all these criteria of what a good holybook does
said that a holybook must be judged by the quality of the lives of its believers, are they
a blessed people, healthy wealthy and wise, do they build beatufiul communities
do they contribute to the enhancement of the human condition, do they have miracle
making powr to overcome obstacles, within and without, etc etc etc,
it was a revelation to me, the basis for my whole thing about illluminating hoodoo,the afroam
spiritual tradition, my thing about a people being what their culture shapes them to be
i look back on that watchtower, and the notes, that i still have, on how to be a viable holybook, holyperson
or holyway and its just amazing to me how much that moment shaped who i am to do, how that moment
provided the finesse to draw strength and power from a very hard period in my life, a period in which looking back, i was stripped of everything in order that i might begin anew, a pilgrim
well, ive certainly told more than i meant to tell, thats what happens when you start
writing without knowing where its going to take you, might end up on sacred ground
all my love
ps: my favorite closure, an
affection for my readership
& all the generations i hope
will one day love my work
all my love
rdoc
sun 6/21 i think
been in a real interesting space, very productive, i been fa
two decisions got me to this place
one, had to abandon preconceived notion of what narrative was going to look like
had to accept whatever i come up with, freeform, i will structure it
next draft, this freed me up, 2nd big decision is to concentrate on making
manuscriopt, which is hard but i love it, i had 800 pages of raw stuff, accumulated
over 20 years of research and 3 previous drafrts, feeling like i had to do
more & major research before i could start drafting was me just being anal
still need to do the research but its backburnered, i will have a draft of
the hoodoo book of flowers, abridged, by end of summer, put that with
my draft of rest and im good to go, 1st class woodshed,
another awareness thats contributing to production, going thru all these old
drafts has been an exercise in essentialism - what feels dated, what
made the destinical cut - the dated stuff is painful and i can only be grateful nobody
published this mess when it was the work of my youth, and i want to make sure
i dont feel the same way 20 years from now, so im really using that as criteria
what made the cut, got stronger with time instead of weaker, literary essentialism (god i love that concept)
the other thing, (i keep adding them, dont i) is me accepting who i am, i really really want to be an evolved
illuminated soul whose only concern is the enhancement of the human condition
who speaks only for the greater aspirations of human destiny but in my heart of hearts i guess
im just a war prophet trying to save the black race and empower the black generations
i feel so out of step with the times, a raceman in the 21st century, no wonder my work
is marginal and out of print, i try to finesse that by equating the black struggle w/the
struggle for human dignity, define them as a chosen people, guide & guardian of
human destiny, but as you know those chosen people scenarios, they can be problematic too
but i feel like i have to give them a mission greater than their adversity, i have to give them
a destiny
im not quite sure what to do with that, i try to play off the tension of speaking for both my
famiiles, blackfolk and all humanity, but still its not quite the me that i aspire to be - this evolved soul
but the one thing i have had to do in order to be productive now is accept who i am and write whats
in me to write and trust the gods of literature will make it work for me, that
whatever i do is what im meant to do and i can only hope that the final
product is what i want it to be - a universalized african american way
a better way
(if it aint a better way than the ones already here whats the point)
all my love
rdoc
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