MONDAY
3 movements yesterday up to 34:modality
sent off babajohn piece for parker
watched movie: live, die, repeat: edge of tomorrow
mr:hbof research on buddhism
read menuscripts for class today
no novelwork, none
a bad day
speaking of buddhism, did i ever tell you about my experience at the wengshu temple in chengdu, my first year in china and i had been desperate for e veggie meal and heard they had a veggie restaurant, me and my ta went to find it, we wandered around without finding it, i found a cafeteria layout with trestle tables, i sat there while my ta continued to look, soon there were bongs and such and folk started filing in, buddhist monks and layfolk, they sst and we chanted for a half hour or so, me trying to look like i belong, like i know the words, after chanting folk go get two bowls and some chpsticks im still sitting there, the only black in chengdu i believe, trying to blend in, front row one side of room, the other half facing us with a walkway between, so half the joint is consciously not staring at me, when this old lady across from me decides she cant take it anymore and starts cussing me out in chinese, real hardcore, who let this foreign defiler in here, do you not see him sitting there - but no, shes not cussing me, shes chastiizing the monks - one quickly brings me bowls and chopsticks,, i thiank him, i thank her, they bring out these huge containers of food, broccoli, tofu noodles, carrots, onions, rice, etc, all the essentials, and ladle them into our bowls - im in heaven, i dont even like tofu, because of the consistency, but the tofu noodles were to die for, veggie spaghetti was what it was, mostly broccoli, my favorite, so im working the chopsticks, not too well but whose complaining, my benefactor, thats who, she chastizes the monks again, in that irritated tone the chinese do so well, sound like they mad at you but not really - the monks hasten to bring me a spoon, i thank her again, a smile, a little bow, the hand over the heart, i eat my fill, those bowls were just right - so im siting there, empty bowl and wondering what now when my ta comes back in and whispers to me we have to leave, you arent supposed to be here, she told me, i told them you were a buddhist - we slip out the back, bowls in hand to be cleaned, me bowing once again to my benefactor, everybody staring while pretending not to, clearly not a buddist but folk was showing grace - best meal i had in the 3 summers i spent in china, in fact one of my best meals ever in life - i often wear prayer beads these days, for meditative moments, i should think of that day when i do them, remember the grace of buddha
SUNDAY
all day yesterday, got one movement done, fuck
rational, its rest for the weary, 3 hours a day
it embarass me in the world that
im still living off a promise
other projects will get whatever is leftover
including schoolhouse, fuck it all, dont want
another day gone w/o that novel done, or working
on it, patience rick, steady focused patience, use
the hammer to take it to higherground
make it a better novel
another literary comrade of mine died in her sleep this week
barbara summers, i really got to quit fucking around
priority rest for the weary till its done, inclu research stratergies
mojoiredux 1 movement a day - medicineshow, 1 hour a day - if possible
+schoolhouse obligations (+family & domestic) no slack whatsoever, rick
you got to
focus
SATURDAY
optimal is always one major project at a time, but
life is rarely optimal, feeling a little overwhelmed
i need a plan: det reasonable production schedule::
sun mon tue - schoolhouse w/daily 3 hr session
wed thuri sat - full court press, fri day of rest
1 movement a day of the 40 i have left
1 - 2 hours research extraction
3 hrs daily novelwork (6 if possible)
1 hr rdocs traveling medicine show: script & production
search committee: 50 search apps a week: bull thru that
evercise everyday 7 am/pm
next 2 weeks meet with advisees for next semester
consider going on calender/todo list and laying out every day
hour by hour, i got too many critical projects in play, i got to focus
okay ijustlooked at mojo redux and im realizzing i cant do it
i need my mystical headset for that project and my fiction headset for novel
ts two radically different states of mind, ima give it a week, ima bull thru
and finish that draft, ima lower my standards and ima get that done and done
its bad enuf haveing to carry a schoolhouse thead with novelwork, i cant
carry 3 heads, research extraction will have to be deemphasized, next draft
this draft i want to transform notes & fragments into coherent manuscript
im on 32:knowledge, got 50 to go, thats about 10 a day, doable by god, brutal but
doable, once again we must seperate the writers from the dilletantes, you can do
this, rick, even failure will get you close, and who knows, you just might
catch the zone, you just might win, buck up my brother, you can do this
only thing certain is if you dont try you dont win
and the clock keep ticking - tick tock
do it, rick
THURSDAY 10/22
well, i heard from my agent, she wants me to open the novel up some
& im like well i will just be damned, i have so enjoyed being free of that
novel and climbing into projects that have been backburnered for years
first i told her i would finish the current project draft and pick novel up
at end of year - because if you put a project down in middraft you have start
all over basically when yuo pick it back up, then im thinking i cant
have this novel hanging over my head for a year, ima
ima have to put mojo redux on minmum maintenance
finish extracting sacredtarot and iching, keep reading all these cosmos/god books i been reading
and do one movement a day for the 40 i have left, 1st need to reread the novel and start processing it
in my head, had planned to do that this morning but just cannot bring myself to do so to dig back
into this novel after putting it down as done will take an act of will, will also have to go to
the memphis room in memphis library and immerse myself in the period,, one of the things she
asked for is more of reconstruction memphis, but wht it really needs is more of the contemporary
stuff, i knew it was lean but i thought i had stylized my way thru it, so i i will expand but not totally the
way she asked for, which is what she expects probably i willl read thru and see what i think it needs
interesting i had an exstudent who is one of my readers read it and he basically told me the
same thing but i guess my agent is used to dealing w/writers because she told me in such
a way that gave me avenues of moving forward, what he said is - this is not a novel -
so emphatically that he offended me and is on my fuck you too list now and i feel like
i shouldnt go there because im the one who trained him and if he doesnt know how to
critique a work its my fault, i tell my students all the time, dont give a blanket condemnation
because that doesnt give the writer anything to work with, try to suggest ways to fix whatever
you think is wrong, a blanket condemnation you can abandon the work or abandon the reader
and it goes without sayng what that choice will be - im out, im depressed, but such is life
just did a presentation on i see the promisedland for folk in keith gilyards rhetoric class at penn state
keith knows me so well whenever i said something not quite correct he would correct it and i told
them i will never give another presentation with dr gilyard in the congregation, we had a ball
also keith told me is is working on an epic book length poem from louis reyes with blind beggar press
he say its the real thing, im not surprised - when he died louis reyes was on my fuck you too list, too
literary fueds are so uncool, i probably need to forgive my reader fairly soon or he will regret this
when im gone, like i regret louis, sekou, davidearl and other folk i was fueding wth when they died
thats time lost that can never be regained, i miss them all, hanging out with keith, a literary
comrade of some 4 decades, resurrected them in our shared memories, we both
had tales of crippling gout, something we had both thought was medieval, hanging
out with keith reminds me, i can hear the clock ticking - tick tock, whatever
i got left to get done need to get done now - startting w/that novel - tick tock
maybe i can force myself to read that old draft today after all - tick tock
rdoc
FRIDAY 10/17
well, dear regulators, im rolling, shaky but rolling
supposed to be doing research extraction for mojo
but ive been working on my script all weekend
contacting folk about being in my show/play/ritual
and its falling into place, in fact ive got a surplus
of riches, five divas on a small stage, 4 dance
divas, one singing diva, thats a cramped stage
ima have to sit folk, enthrone them - so anyway
i been working on my script, and only this morning
has it been truly a new script, before today its been
a pastiche of some of my greatest hits, but i had a
revelation last night as i went to bed and got up
this morning and started building a real script from scratch
this is the promotional stuff i came up with for the schoolhouse
im making big promises for somthing thats going ot have horrible adhoc
production quality - basically i see this performance as rudimentary
something to tape and use to generate interest/funding for a full performance:
-----------
Professor Arthur Flowers and Friends in a multimedia meditation on prophecy and the hoodoo way. A transformative evening of magic incorporating music, dance, video, installation art and performance poetry. An interrogation, both academic and creative, of contemporary hoodoo, the indigenous African American magical system, and its prophetic relationship with a family of afrospiritual traditions in the Americas. The congregation will engage the evolution of 21st Century hoodoo from folk to high magic and incorporate a brief impaneled dialogue on afrospiritual practice and high hoodoo as cultural custodianship and initiatory illumination. Power and Redemption.
SUNDAY 10/12
hello world
there is this great chapter online about creativity and revision, there been
some schoolhouse discussion that some of our students dont believe
they need to revise their works, the faculty is appalled a young writer could believe that
not somebody we trained - so i googled and found this article thats full of insights
into the creative process of literary legends - absolutely fascinating - speaking of
process, im buried in research: for all practical purposes ive abandoned my push
for october, im dug in deep, works ive already broken down im breaking down
again, w/purpose this time, i had too many holes, the political riffs im the master
the living life riffs im okay, the spiritual grace riffs im okay, i got to be a great deal
better than okay, fuck a okay, so im dug in, got to get thru the sacred tarot
and the iching, too much of my own way comes from them, and i got about
3 other books i feel need to extract their knowledge, and i want to do it this month
so i can be back in the saddle by november, but much more informed, far as im
concerned im still on a end of the year deadline, these 2 works are critical, the sarcred
tarot and the iching are divination systems whose underlyng cosmology appeals to me
its kinda interesting, you start a project, you think you know all there is to know
and you soon realize, no, you dont know all there is to know, and bam, research
again, but its because of earlier immersions in occult knowledge that im the cosmic player
i am today - so on a certain level im kinda tickled i got to go deep again, ima be a
different man, more evolved, more the me i aspire to be, after this process
right now though its just another grind i got to git, in addition to all the others
got 5 key personnel for rickydocs traveling medicine show, got commitments
from 3 of them, did i tell you about my panel that becomes a chorus
this is going to make it something the schoolhouse hasnt seen
i got to go, getting thru the sacred tarot: #5 the hierophant
"expresses the relation of the absolute being to the relative being, of the infinite to the finite,
the trial of man by literty of action within the impassable circle of universal law"
"remember then, son of man,, if the hierophant should appear in the prophetic signs of thy horoscope, retire into
the sanctuary of thy heart, listen to the voice of the sielnce, and guided by it, thou wilt reach the goal of thy aspirations"
i eat this kind of stuff with a spoon, these kinds of initiatory admonitions is what im looking for in mojo
redux, this and ichings kinda stuff, my own movements were sounding too shallow for me, too
self help, and i got to determine what makes them stand the test of time, i dont think mine will just yet
i know its still first draft but i got to up my game, if i want to hang w/the big dogs, be one of humanity's
great teachers, i got to up my game - ima immerse myself in my primary texts, reach for
higher ground - this entail stealing, taking passages like those two above and rephrasing
them in my own words, hope im not busting your bubble but thats how its done
amatuers borrow, professionals steal - they will be my own before its done
stuff like the male orientation, the archaic language, that will be the 1st to go, the easy stuff
then i got to refine the whole thing for a 21st century sensibility, in my own voice and sensibility,
what im doing now is going thru and extracing the passages i need to reconcept, brute tedium, if
i can stay focused i can get this off my plate by late tonight, but i will be behind schoolhouse monday
and wore out tired, fumbling my classes is not an option, lets try to get half done, 11 of
the 22 major arcanum - i will, under the circumstances, consider that a good day
and today i wont feel like a failture - today - but tomorrow
i go to meet the blank page once again, do or die
everyday, do or die
tick tock
rdoc
ADDENDUM: believe i can get something out of that last note
today i won, got my work done, tomorrow
i go to meet the beast again, do or die,
everyday, do or die, everyday, tick tock
arggh, my shit sound so shallow, i cant stand it, is this
going to be another failture of craft, o god - ok i just
got to hold my nose and keep hitting it, trust the process, rick
trust that this will one day be a worthy project, should have
kept it tight and enigmatic maybe, thats
one test of time factor - enigmatic last:
everyday, do or die
tick tock
still sounds weak, hard to determine at this point whats essentialist, okay,
enuf rootsblog, i got to get back to work - weak or not i got to get it done
let the generations decide
all my love
rdoc
MONDAY
caught up w/monday classes
one day ahead of the wolves
checked, just sent novel in 3 weeks ago, she told me she had a pile
i was thinking it was months, i got to get a grip
was not happy w/quality of mojo redux movements, started rereading
brotherhood of lights sacred tarot, big mistake, critical occult knowledge
i want to incorporate, i want to be in this text where they are
also the iching, other works on time, cosmos, etc, i have been
accumulating for just this moment, research, keep driving forward
maintain end of year deadline because i need to get this off my plate
i want to do the hoodoo book of flowers novel
the disciplined move is to finish mojo redux 1st
end of year is impossible but
one never knows do one
even if you fail you will have moved the ball
im gone, all my love
SUNDAY 10/5
hello world, im stewing in a pit of jealousy
been reading marlons james reviews for his new book,folk calling it epic, a must read
700 page jamica epic based on assasination attempt of bob marley, getting raves
one, thats what i wanted to write, an epic 700 history of the african american experience
ende up with barely 200 pages of a hoodoo detective sendup, i jumped in with intent but
this was i got, but the big thing thats bugging me is we have the same agent
the same agent i have no heard from since i sent my piece in, i fear she
dreads having to read it yet one more time
i want to assure her, its a different book,
but i got to be cool, its part of being a professional, patience
stay focused on current project, ima stop calling it the hoodoo
book of flowers, i want to keep that for my next novel, this
one is now mojo redux, the novel will be the conqueror
at the crossroads conccept and i know just the thing for the literary blues
ima get busy today, i got ideas, scribble them down
nonfiction is easy but it dont satisfy, speakingof which
today,i did hbof:4:31:time & timing
tracking production i started 9:28 i did hbof:2:18
today, 10:5, i just did 4:31, 14 in 8 days or so
couting my 2 days a week off this comes in about 2 a day
so thats my baseline, 2 a day, ima try to push it up to 3 but 2 will do
in front of each movement i have an invocation to one of the
81 hoodoo haints, ancestral folk from black culture, i dont
know who im going to assign to time just yet
also for each one i want some historical, mythical, or folkloric riff in the
mode of galeanos memories of fire - dont have one for time just yet
always a balance between driving forward and filling holes
mostly im driving now, got to go on facebook, give marlon some props
remnd myself of what aisha rahman told me so long ago, when i told her i wanted to
be the greatest novelist ever lived and she said, no art, thats not what you want
you want to sing your song the best you can sing it,
that way you can appreciate other folk singing theirs
all my love
rdoc
--------------
HBOF:4:31:time & timing
im ready lord ________, im ready
if im not i will be, im ready
time, the prophets true power
the prophets true instrument
time, the master that rules us all
a construct, a servant that enables
master time or it will master you
time gives us order, time gives us deadlines, the great deadline,
finessing time is the great game, everyday you win and lose
ensure that your work grows with time - instead of being diminished by it
works the generations live in their hearts - let your every act be a legacy
cast your vision, young hoodoo, as far as you can see, determine the
challenges the tribe will face, prepare the tribal soul to meet them
at any given moment you are experiencing life, thinking about life, or
conjuring it: getting your work done – be conscious of the moment
the optimal use of it, every moment and you
will know power – de gift of rickydoc
know then, o pilgrim, when to rest, when to be
ready, know when to wait, when to make
your move, the time
is now
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