SUNDAY
highjohn the conqueror root is the power root of hoodoo, properly dressed it will conquer all obstacles, over the years i have dressed some for folk and attempted to make roots by rickydoc into little works of art, i use cowries and siete potentia elekes, sometimes i use the red black green and gold - i use stones and such, used to use crystals by they fall out eventually, was doing a reading for phils schoolhouse when he pulled out one i had given him some 15 years or so ago, kept it on his writing desk - the cyrstal had fallen out, so i talked him out of it so i could rebuild it, this is what i just finished for him - over the years ive gotten allergic to them so it takes an effort to do them these days, decided ima start numbering them, keep a record of who got what - in my world there are folk who value a highjohn de conquer root worked by rickydoc - so this is #1, belongs to phil lamarche, folk who want theirs authenticated (and maybe up dated) should contact me:
THURSDAY
so im in that lost stage, that whirlpool stage where you have broken the novel apart and its lying there in its constituent pieces, many of which no longer fit your purposes and everyday you work on it you just digging yourself deeper into a hole, everyday you working hard just to generate more confusion - but a good revision, (unless you doing what i call poetry drafts, strictly polish drafts) a good revision you have to break a work down and rebuild it, i advise my students to avoid nip and tuck rewrites where you fiddle with a sentence here and a paragraph there - good revision, you have to tear the text apart, rebuild it, take it to higher ground,
so im in that tear it apart stage, when the harder you work the more confused you get, what keeps you going is the vision of what the novel can be, i might be wallowing in a pit of confusion but my eyes are full of literary stardust - and im just thankful for the 3 months im given every year to do battle, my summer woodshed, the paradise part of academia, when the work get done - legend is 1st time coltrane came out to play he got blowed off the stage, went home and withdrew into this woodshed out back & he practice & he practice until he was the john coltrane, came back and said now blow this - all my love
MONDAY
so I'm listening to some albert king, and i recall early 90s, right before my 2nd novel, another good loving blues, came out - Im in this hole in the wall jook joint on beale, round midnight the mc say ladies and gentlemen, the greatest left hand bluesman in the world is in the house, albert king - man at the table next to me stood up and took a bow - I must say i was tickled, engaged him in conversation & jack & coke until we was both toasty whereupon i asked if he would blurb my novel and he said yeah, no problem, rick, drop it off - two, three days later he was dead - had i known i woulda had him write it on a napkin, far as im concerned that blurb is there, prominently displayed on the cover - congratulations rick, from the greatest lefthand bluesman ever
SUNDAY 5/30
so im woodshedding now and everyday im struggling with the page
this what i live for - course im also wading through fears and anxieties
early woodshed all you can see are the problems w/the text, what need desperately to be done, while
fighting off crippling fears that you will once again prove unequal to the task, constrained once again
by ongoing failures of craft, and i know if i can make this draft do what i want it to
it will be a book that i can live with, ie die on - i know i got to just ignore my anxieties
and get my work done regardless, and i think sometime about all the folk i know
(& love) who want to be writers but they not willing to struggle with the page
its like they think it come easy to those of us who do, its like you think you the only one in
the world it come hard to - clocking pages not only require discipline it require you to go deep
buddy of mine one time say if it was easy everybody would go down the street and get some
but you do what you got to do, every phase of aspiration to the literary there are psychological
blocks that must be gently pushed aside, assuming you actually want to live out this dream,
i woulda paid any dues imaginable to live this literary life i have lived - i fear and have damn near
accepted (damn near mean not quite) that i just might not be the great writer i have always
aspired to be, but ima continue to conduct myself as if i am, ima take myself and
my work seriously and ima get my work done - and whatever writer i am i accept that
long as im true to me (and my aesthetic) i accept that
long as im clocking pages and making books im good to go
the universe has kept its part of the deal, ima keep mine
all my love
rdoc
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