TUESDAY 2/10
so this an example of what im doing, im reading all these books, i call them extractions
i read them and then i let them generate notes which are sometimes not digested, sometimes
me, sometimes a blend, generally if its not digesting i put quote marks around it to remind
me its not mine and dont use it in final text, these are just raw notes, me thinking out loud
will have to edit them down, organize them, put the poetry on it but this is what i did over
the weekend, i can read a whole book of some aspect of spiritwork and get maybe 2 paras
out of it, i have a hundred books i want/need to get thru before the summer where im
going to arbitrarily stop researching and do text only, ima be fiddling at text all along
but this is the generating thoughts off research phase, when i started i thought i had
all the spiritwork knowledge i needed but once i put it in text
i had big gaps, as you can see i bounce all around, depending
on what the books im extracting generate in my head
then i go thru and determine what movement passages go to
most of this i see is love, marriage, death, mojo et al
mojo im playing with like the tao, the chi, ineffable force
off all things that are, alignment, its kinda of nebulous
what im trying to do with mojo but one thing thats become
clear to me if i pull this off i can define a lot of realities into being
and im very conscious that every choice means something
remember these are raw notes, do not judge me, im
just trying to reassure folk who believe in me im working
im so ambitious an artiste that everything i do takes forever
i fear god will clip me before im done, so im full court press now
the hoodoo book of flowers and
rest for the weary and i will be like
cool god, hope you like what i done
cause you done right by me
okay im gone: so much work to do, got to do my daily grind
all my love:
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the great ways prepare folk for dying
reduce the anxiety, make it okay, put
it off as long as you can thru ital. living
but when its time its time – ibayo
time to prepare yourself for the next phase, whatever that is
the greatest thing about death is approaching it with dignity, ibayo
your entire life is a preparation for a good death,
achievement must be legacy
just what is a soul, how does it live on after death
how does it function in the world
what is the significance as a spirit doctor of healing souls
souls arent necessarily sick, they can just be weak, barely there
and everybody need soulcare, just what is soulcare, just
what is soulcare, you have to give it out as an instinctive thing
suffering, evil, injustice, these are all inevitable aspectsof the human condition and must be endured in the fully lived life,
people are evil because they are, most folk arent evil they just weak, though the actions sometimes result in the same end
when you can transform evil in people,
evil in the human condition, or rather suffering, you can only prepare for it then you must endure,
earthquakes, floods, they are no respectors of persons and they wipe away the righteous with the wrong,
when the earth shifts in search of its own equilibrium people sometimes suffer, when the universe shifts
suns die, galaxies disappear
suffering, enduring, the key is to end up stronger than whence you entered
better positioned, then you have transformed suffering into strength, pain
into power
transforming evil is done more thru unconditional love than not
this however puts you in danger and must be done strategically
which I guess means its not unconditional, your call
basic human nature is amoral
until it is raised by socialization
and even further by the pursuit of the spiritual
evil is because it is
as is suffering et al
it can only be a test
how does one reconcile faith and science
does render to ceaser suffice
the goal of a great way is identification with the divine, name it
god, gods, the powers that be, the universal all, the great mojo
partake of the power
god you either accept or you don't accept, don't have to prove god
god is because so many people believe in god and shape their lives
according to what they have decided god wants of them, so god is
real, gods are alive when folk believe in them, they die when folk
no longer care, when folk will die or kill for their god, when they
will suffer for their god that is a living god, it I also the god of
holywars and fundamentalists trying to Impose their visions on others
god is complicated, or rather should I say, the believe in god
cosmological god says reality is casual, that there must be a point
and it had to have started somewhere, god as the big bang
teleological god says the worlds complexity requires a designer
other than what we call mother nature
humanity has step by step removed itself from the center of the universe
well no, looks like the sun and the planets do not revolve around the earth
and no, looks like god is more than a tribal mascot
ontological what is real
if god is real in the world that's stronger than real in your head
pantheism as god the universe, or is god outside the universe, its creator, a bigger leap
and no real why its necessary
regarding the nature of god there are many beliefs, from the abramic insistence on one god
to the many gods of the pantheons, to the belief in the universal transcendent of the tao
im down with the universal transcendent, god as mannfiest in all things, the great mojo
the all powerful god is omnipotent, all knowing, omnibenevolent, all good
completely perfect, even though our realities are limited, the universal god
is not according to traditional belief but if you believe that its all god then
you have to accept the questionable components of the human condition
and within that constraint strive to live the most useful life possible to you
everybody has a mission to leave the world the human condition better than when you came
this is your legacy, this is your fa, to find your calling, to find your destiny in your life
how does fate and free will work
I believe in free will but I also believe in fate, I believe in fa
I believe that you can make choices that accord with your greater self
and that this is your fa, to find your greater self, to make your contribution
and you who would call yourselves a chosen people
it is only in service that you are chosen
the phases of the creative
wishing up on it
incubation/contemplation
vision clarity at all points have to be open to projectal evolution
starting work with disciplined schedule of production
maintaining discipline
drafts
closure
distribution
leveraging
starting process over again with various works in various stages
usually I try to give advice to folk applying for an mfa slot after doing this
it's the same every year, more or less
follow the instuctions, if the guide says 20 do 20
don't make the work harder tor read with smaller fonts
and margins or front to back printing, don't send anything
too experimental if you can help it, steady as she goes
something that will catch attention and hold it, the only
manuscripts I actually finish are the ones I cant put down
the cover letter, sincerity, don't get fancy, sincerely express
your aspiration to the literary life, your commitment to the grind
evidence a tonal personality we will want to make part of our literary family
one guy we liked had to reject because he trashed being able to teach writers
so bad the writing dept wouldn't take him for the teaching practice, we knew he
was just trying to be the artiste but he shot himself in the foot
a new path:
what is th baseline from which you must move
consider alternative paths at every step
be conscious of your demons
articulate your goals
choose and move on it, decisions made, can always change them later
don't wait for the time to be right, it never is, do it and then its right by definition
accept the risk, the likelihood of failure,
accept being a beginner be patient as you move thru to mastery
confront your demons, your passions and your obsessions in your work
that's where the power is
accept and manage doubts and anxieties, they never go away
use them to generate mojo, learn to ignore them, a demon
once named has no power over you
choose project that feed your obsessions
be willing to drive yourself past exhaustion
exploit your appetities, your zest for life
understand when its counterproductive, when
your strengths become your weaknesses
align your internal dialogues with your goals
withdraw allegiance from crippling progressions
deny demons
nothing happens without persistence
equanimity in the midst of stress is when its necessary
no stress, no opportunity to practice art of equanimity, de mojo
marriage, for all the aggravation it can be
it can also be an opportunity for creating
a spiritual union, which is the greatest blessing
but there is a certain attitude, one romantic love
has to be devalued, its good for getting folk together
but not necessarily good for keeping them together
romantic love has to be transformed into transformative love
if its going to endure the longhaul with some sense of evolving grace
you are on the planet to help your chosen mate actuate themselves best they can
live a rewarding life with as many bouts of happiness that you can foster
if not happiness then quality of life, peace of mind, got to accentuate
the positive, eliminate the negative and do not fuck w/the in between
LOVE
the difference between romantic love and transformative love
often the grind of transformative love sends you out looking
for the passion of romantic love but it rarely lasts any more
than it did the first time
the question one is how do you transform it to transformative love
and two, how do you keep romance in the transformative grind
one you have to understand and accept the difference
and think of the experience as a transformative one
designed to take you to higher ground in your life
which means the mate you choose has to be good one
there are very few life choices as significant as the right mate
to benefit spiritually from marriage you have to be brutally honest with yourself
and the need to constantly grow and evolve, this is the challenge, divine partnership
the form of which is flexible, the nuclear family is just one option of many, whatever
works for you and does not stress your partner, choose someboy whose freak matches yours
everybody is freaky down inside, a lot of folk they don't know what turns them on
some folk their freak has to be repressed as unacceptable, there is a way for that too
problem with romantic love is that its not flexible
and too often grounded in the physical instead of the spiritual
at some point physical attraction wears off, then what, do you move on
but what happens when you are tired of moving on, learning somebody new
there are positives and negative to transformative love
you got to accentuate the positive, eliminate . . .
there will be times when you feel quite negatively about your mate
this is not allowed in romantic love, its understood in transformative love
almost anything will break romantic love, transformative love you judge it
is this a deal breaker and you will be surprised to find, that often it is not
things that are a deal breaker in romantic love are not dealbreakers
in transformative love
transformative love is as much as love can be
I like that phrase, transformative love, the real
deal is when you have them both together, romantic
and transformative, it's the ratios that change as you evolve
what was primarily romantic becomes primarily transformative
if youre lucky
conflicting emotions are part of the human condition
accept them, act on the ones that illuminate and activate
the mojo, negative behavior kills mojo
mojo has a moral component, because I say it does
if this work is the work of wonder I would it be then
every decision every word is a crossroads decision
you can focus on your partners irritations or you
can focus on the good moments, your call
mostly it's a grind, married life, mostly you irritated
but over the years you developed a symbiosis, you
know each others secrets and have judged them doable
you know each others strengths and weakness and most
important you can live in the same house w/o doing
each other physical or spiritual harm
being your partners support system is more important than anything
except maybe the children, except maybe the children
I recall once talking to somebody that irritated me and
I was so knotted up keeping this person at bay that it was
stressful and I recall willing myself to loosen up, to let
the experience be and let them flow thru me instead of
trying to keep them out and I remember the illuminatinate
I need a variant on illumination that speak to those moments of illumination
ima call it the illumoment or something, one thing im realizing is since im
doing the full work and a lot of it will be essentialist I can add riffs that are
strictly personal interprets and takes and they will take just because I did it
illumiment maybe, illumoment sounds corn
marriage as holyground
also partnership, again marriage is a flexible terms
should I perhaps say mateship, but its different, i
should also give mateship guidance that's different
from marriage guidance
nurturing generations is the highest calling
preparing your children for the grace that is life
making sure of good socialization, good nutriments
love and caring, a clean comfortable home, a
good education, a good sense of partnership
a good sense of self, a good moral base, what else
viable skill sets
a divine partnership has the following goals:
mutual satisfaction and spiritwork
sexual pleasure and procreation
the raising of children and generations
comfort and companionship
mutual care and provision
you have to be attuned to the comfort of your partner
to the quality of life, to keeping their stress level down
specially that engendered by your behavior, something
you can change, shape, ameliorate
don't try to change folk let them change but don't
like commit to it, if there are aspects of the person
you have trouble with expect always to have that
the partner will ameliorate to some extent, but messy
is messy is messy, grumpy is grumpy is grumpy
equanimity can handle that, equanimity can handle anything
a good marriage is the next best thing to heaven
HOLYGROUND
so there were two brothers working the family plot with instructions to
divide the harvest equally, over the years one married with a large family
and the other remained single, reasoning that his brothers large family would
need more grain each night the single brother would add a little extra to the
married brothers portion, the married brother, worried about the single brothers
care in his old age would slip a little extra onto his pile, one night they bumped
into each other while adding and understood what had happened, they hugged
each other and there god said let me build a temple, this ground is holyground
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