rootwork the rootsblog: a cyberhoodoo webspace

endgame: once more into the breech

sun the 31st, 1:52pm, 81 pgs, done dea
will resist temptation to hit last 30 pgs or so again
will send it off to ellen tomorrow no matter what
i will not 2nd guess myself or falter, its done . .

sun the 31st, 8:57am, pg 76 (5 to go)



part of the anxiety that is haunting me now
is like i think it works now but what will i think
when i let it get cold and look at it again, can

always make it better but if the industry diss me
like they have the last 10 years or so ima be hurt
im inclined to say this is it, i will just leave it
for future generations to judge and move on
 
hopefully this is moot and the industry will
see what i see, a whole new way of noveling
instead of what the fuck is flowers doing now
like they did the hoodoo book of flowers
ohwell, whatever happens ive done my part

ive paid my dues . . .

sun the 31st 8:11am, pg 71 (9 to go)
reason endgame passages get so hard is because endgame
passages are the most important passages in the text, your
endgame is where you leave the reader touched by the text,
endgame its all got to come together, endgame gotta sing

mr im too sick to work been putting in demon hours, im just
too close to the end of this 20 year process to quit now
ima finish today and then i will collapse, a satisfied man

im in the zone . . .

sun the 31st, 7:40, pg 68 (12 to go)
hit a bad patch and a good one, rdoc rolling

sun the 31st, 7:03 pg 63
im so sick i cant do nothing but write
im walking around the house like a
zombie with no energy for nothing
and if i lie down and try to read im
drowing in mucus, cant sleep so
im sitting here at the sacred desk
and im just powering thru and
getting good work actually, in part
cause im moving so god awful slow

my feelings are hurt, memphis is having a
slew of MLK activities for the 50th anniversary
of his death and MLK is one of my specialties

got a book out on it and everything
memphis dont give me no love

i hope one day to be appreciated for what i have
brought to the table, but it apprently wont be in

my lifetime

life is just a grind, there is
no rest for the weary . . .

sun the 31, 6:25am pg 62



im in trouble, this cold has me by the balls
and just a little production wears me out
may have to ride this one out 1st, and accept
drastically reduced production . . fuck . . .

sat the 30th, 9:32pm pg 60,
in order to maintain schedule i am
skimming sections i know are clean
looks like i might have a ny win

i think what i will do is take a break
then start on my last 60, may do a
printout and a last redpen of them
but l ikely i will be burnt the fuck out

im gone

sat the 30th, 11:00am pg 50,
rough patch, i believe its time for a break

sat the 30th, back in the cuse, last read thru

the goal is 20 pages a day which will get me thru in 4 days
hopefully this is just a poetry readthru, ran up on a rough patch
yesterday and didnt get but 17 pages, page 37 of 80, but even
with nothing but rough patch days if i do 10 a day im still good

this is it, im sending off to ellen no matter what it looks like
today will tell the tale, if i get thru 20 today its a done deal
this historicals have been easy, i spec the speculative heavy
last 20 pages will be hell to work thru but if i get slowed down
to 10 or even 5 a day i will still be thru by 1st week in jan

whats amazing to me is that the text does the tricks finally
that i 1st conceived it doing, deconstructing into my endgame
but i had given up on making that work years ago but then
this last draft it just happens like i had always imagined it

my plan was to get thru this 10 or so books of flash fiction
i figure just the process of putting together my syllabus is
going to make me a master of flash, which is what i call
each of my segments in this novel, each paragraph

but i need to take advantage of this next week free
no school, bonnie in dc, its just me and the text
(and my array) i will still be working on it till summer
long enuf to work my new craft into the text

also ima keep flashworks in mind when i redo 
the hoodoo book of flowers, ima make it sing

and an entirely new level of the griotic game,
im gone, got pages need clocking, all my love

 

showtime

 thurs the 20th,

still working draft, finished it yesterday but last 30 pages or so
i bled red ink all over the page so i need to go thru that section
again, you have to be able to read thru a section w/o big changes
to consider it done, just poetry, dotting Is and crossing Ts

but let me take a minute to celebrate, i had a big evening
me and ekpe met at evelyn and olive for dinner, we saw
the blue lights up the street and wandered over, they
were taking the statue down, god help us we been trying
to get rid of forrest since before i was born, its cause
of that statue that forrest and fort pillow play such a
big part in my novel, so a bit of doggerel before we continue

memphis got slick, worked around nashville
and pulled the trick, sold the park, took them
statues down overnight, before the confeds
could put up a fight, i was there to spread the
news, old devil forrest got the memphis blues

the other part of the night, ekpe said he was
going to beale to return a cord and maybe
play some flute with a blues band of blind willie
got to blues city cafe and it was amazing,
1st off blilnd willie and the blues band were
seriously prime time, i mean the rreal thing

then ekpe went on stage and threw down
the blues man kept calling on him to solo
kept prasing his playing, saying he got a
mighty big whistle, kept calling him big
whistle the rest of the night, thats gon

be my private name for ekpe, big whistle
that was the 1st time ive seen him really
challenged and he stepped all the way up
it was a really wonderful night

okay, back on the grind . .

 

tuesday the 19th, 10:57 pg 76 (4 to go)
just ran totally the fuck out of steam, was

at memphis room more nodding than workiing
came home and went to sleep, prepare myself
for what should be the last push, got a couple
of rough spots need cleaning , one more day . . .

had lunch w/nan, she say you should take a rest
i gave her my reasonable folk dont become great
artistes speech, reasonable folk dont write novels
want to be artiste got to do more than a reasonable
person would, but the weary wore me down, when
i do finish ima collapse for a couple of days . . .

tuesday the 19th 7:34 am, 18 pgs to go
having trouble getting my groove on, endgame fear

tuesday the 19, 1:21 am pg 60 (20 to go)
ima see how far i can get before i crash

monday the 18, 11:57

made my 20, pg 60. inputting digital, pg 50
an hour maybe two, i will count that as a win
mostly its a poetry rewrite, which is why im
able to maintain this pace and i kinda like
poetry drafts, when a word or a phrase can
add multiple layers of meaning and you clean
up weak passages in a manner magical
im gone, gotta stay focused, 10 more pages,
20 more tomorrow and im done, a good novel

sunday the 17 

12:13 pm   32 pgs  (8 to go)

thats just the redpen part, then hours of putting into computer
civilians have no idea the sheer bulldog determination
it takes to sit there hour after hour wrestling w/the page
when all you want to do is get up and do anything else

unfortunately its clear i will have to do it one more time
after i finish this draft instead of sending it off, which i
could, its viable, ima do the syllabus research for flashfic
class, which entail reading about 400 flash fiction stories
just the process of doing that will make me a better writer

then i will do my last read thru before school starts
but i will be approaching it w/new chops, it never
ends, 44 years i been doing this and still learning

i am punchdrunk weary but i got to do todays 20 or feel
like im not really taking myself or my craft seriously

im ducking friends and family trying to get me to
socialize, im in the woodshed, i dont socialize

i wrestle w/the page, i clock pages, and when i get
my 20 ima collapse, wake up and do it again

this is how you separate the writers from the wannabes
take an act of god to keep me from my daily grind . . .

 

8:44am  27 pgs

i am beyond tired, pg 27, 13 to go, it is so hard to stay on it
i am so tired of reading this novel and i just want to quit . ..

 

saturday the 16

well dear regulators, here we are

doing 2nd to last read thru, had hoped it was last
but a couple of times bleed ink all over the page
which mean i will have to hit it one more time
but its reading good, im pleased with it

goal is 20 pages a day, which would be 40/50 if
it was 12 double point but its 10 singlepoint and
i have 80 pages, which means in the next 4 days
i will ahve a real novel, im so excited, then one
more scan thru and ima send it to ellen

i had all these plans, finish a rev of the hoodoo book of flowers
read must be 10 books of flash fiction for my class in spring
but i was so unhappy and i realized i got to give this novel
everything i got and do all that other stuff when its done
but dec 31st i got to have a clean draft ready to go

spent the day in the memphis room of the city library
my literary refuge, did fiirst 10 this morning in hotelroom
ran some errands, went to otherlands but too many distractions
i enjoyed myself but didnt get much work done, shifted to
memphis room, no distractions, threw down, made todays
20 and its now 11:57, talk about cutting it close

so, let me get started on tomorrows 20, get as far in
as i can before i crash, the hard 20s will be the last 2

but if i stay focused and dont falter i will have a good novel
a 20 year project finally come to fruition, and all the naysayers

can kiss my literary ass, i will show them all

all my love

rdoc

all my love

SATURDAY the 9th

i have really been out of the loop
had a rough semester and been
maintaining novelwork, finished

a viable draft, working a hoodoo
book of flowers draft while i let it
go cold for end of year push

its a good work but we will see what
it looks like when i pick it back up

got this reading at burkes books in memphis
by array is all out of tune but such is life, ima
make it work, i practice 2 hours a day and im
still concerned i will fuck it up, put you got to
just get on out there and make it happen

i dont have a lot to say, just felt bad
i hadnt said much of anything lately
i been seriously under the gun

one thing that old do i speajk for blackfolk or do
i speak for all humanity is on me again cause
the temptation is to take all the black stuff out
and writer a universal spiritual text, what i have
will never sell in my lifetime and perhaps not
even get published but its a serious work

i have to let that suffice, i will work them
both into the summer, wont worry about
publication till then, all my love

rdoc