THURS 6/7 9:21 am
hello world, getting a grip on what i got to do
to address my agents concerns w/novel
goal is still to imbue each para w/
power of stand alone flash fiction . . .
and I desperately want to pull off time folds
where I conflate the past present and future
In the same beat, I figure that's what prophets
do with time and I want narrative to reflect that
I am almost crippled w/fears that I have
reached that stage in a career arc where
writers just become a parody of their
earlier potential but I just have to ignore
the fear, do the best I can do to bring
this beast into fruition this time
god I can only hope im still viable
still doing viable manuscript, im such
a stylist that I might be just fooling myself
at this point, I can not tell you how much I
wish I were a more conventional writer
but it is what it is, I think I still got my chops
and its like this draft will finally tell the tale,
am I the writer I aspire to be or must I accept
thatI am just incapable of delivering the novel
I have dreamed of for some 30 years now,
I think im almost there, I hope I pray that I
am not caught up in an illusion of craft
also keep in mind conversation i had w/kayla where she
said she isgiving herself the freedom to venture beyond
the edges of her own understanding - keep that in mind
showtime . , .
least i finished the hoodoo book of flowers
and sent it off, my novel may be trash but
my afroam holybook is one of a kind strong
nonfiction so easy, you put the hours you get a product,
fiiction you put the hours in its still maybe maybe
there times when i curse the name of iohn oliver killens,
hadnt been for the babajohn i wouldnt be a novelist, ida
been some other kinda writer, some easier kind of writer
I saw a movie about dickens last night
the man who invented christmas, it
was very moving, and inspirational
Just what I needed now . . . .
All my love
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