SUN 9/15 9:18 pm
hello world
i am in a strange space, waiting on physical copies of my book
hoping it wiil be a game changer, assuming that it will not, i have
braced myself for it being ignored like all my other works, whichever
way it goes i will count myself blessed for making it happen
been trying to get into my novel groove, its been difficult
trying to get into it from a dead stop while gearing up for
the semester, ohwell, no sense whining
me and the bonsai still in acquisition mode
i wired up all my jades and my juniper, we will
see how it works out, im gone, im just wandering
i seem to be fighting off the blues
i should have retired this year
all my love
rdoc
Wed 9/12 9:10 am
hello world
in a strange space, finished HBOF, turned script
into wojo, refuse to touch it again revision, had a
major maybe yesterday, last beat, godbeat, i have
this refrain thru it, referring to all thiings as great all
hell, let me show you
7: every morning I raise the sun, I take my mbira and I go outdoors and I listen to the world and I play along with it, and I greet it all with, hello lord, the sound of crickets, hello lord, a jogger, a passing car, hello lord, a neighbors cat stepping gingerly thru the grass, trees branched against the sky like stained glass, this cathedral of a world, hello lord, and every once in a while I feel da oneness, hello lord, I wish I could express to you in words what only comes thru in music, hello lord, be open to the presence of divinity in your life, hello lord, a fey experience, awe, reverence and wonder, hello lord, certainty, clarity, epiphany, hello lord, confusion, a prayer answered and/or denied, divine wonder in places of natural beauty and sacred spaces, hello lord, sudden serenity in the storm, a transcendent response to a work of art, music, life itself, hello lord, a vision, a sense of da oneness, revelation comes in many guises, to those who listen everything has its voice, hello lord, holiness, sanctity, peace, compassion, love and/or joy, a sense of wellbeing, a deeper sense of life’s purpose, gods grace, to those who listen anything can be a door to the divine, hello lord,
so yesterday i was thinking i shoulda said 'hello god'
im trying to get folk in that god the universe mode
and saying god is stronger than lord annd lord i bet
comes from medjeval reverence for nobility whiich
is unsavory to me but then again hello lord feels more
intimate than hello god and this comes from my raising
the sun ritual and i actually say 'hello lord' so i went
with lord but final analysis i just aiint gon change shit
its done
start changing shit i wont stop, fouond book yesterday
parables from around the world, folk wisdom, god i want
to do an extraction on that but will have to waiit until
HBOF 2.0, took a couple of days off, tried working but
syastem shut down, today i about to get back in
the saddle, a week of novel immersion before i do
schoolhouse and taxes and because im so bent
about not getting novelwork done over summer ima
mmaintaiin production into the semester long as i can
also w/hello lord i like the way it rolls off the tongue
hello lord, that la la sound feels prayerful in a way
hello god does not, musically / narratively speaking
im gone, all my love
rdoc
postscript: just thought, should have put 'impending death'
among those triggers of transcendence - fuck it, its done
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