aug 11, 5:36 am (220 of 258)
DONE DEAL
it would benfit from another read
thru but i am terminally burnt out
im eager to do another draft of rest, then
im done with rest, i might coast then
im tired
but if Im not working then all
im doing is grinding out life
we will see
aug 10, 9:57 am (220 of 258)
last push, last day, do or die
aug 9, 11:35 pm (217 of 258)
and still got some strenk left,
ima break and keep rolling
started this morning 160+
which mean this been a 50
page day, my cup runneth
over, one more day
aug , 10:11 am (169 of 253)
ok, hardcore i got 30, which is
mpore reasonable than expecting
to sustain 50 a day, lets say 25
which is 3 days basically
also figured out how ima work samples
was this morning wondering how do i
account for the depths to which the
repub party / trumpites have fallen
its so putrid its hard to capture and
i will work that passage here over next
couple of days cause i think its impo
we see what has happened and never
forget, its an impo passage and it needs
to do duty where is that passage . .. .
------------
OF REPUBLICAN DEATH CULTS
part of increased production of late is nagging sense of responsibility, I been feeling like in the age of trump that it is part of the artists role to provide alternative realities, visions for humanity other than the one we living through, at least we got trump out, so we have a chance of surviving this but his rot has taken root and left behind a republican death cult dependant on racial animus and voter suppression, a party that on jan 6th, 2021, tried to take the government in a coup that failed only because it was as incompetent as anything else he has done, but it further exposed the rotten underbelly of republican governance
whats deep is that in order to validate trumps attempt to subvert the election of 2020 (and the ones to come,) the republicans enact policies designed to remove the roadblocks that sustained our democracy under direct and indirect assault but even more amazing insist on anti vaccine / mask policies / misinformation directly responsible for killing folk and when folk die as predicted they shrug it off, 100s of 1000s of unnecessarily dead americans just optics to them, just don’t count them, say trump, problem solved, one texas senator opine that elders don’t mind dying for the economy, and its like you do realize we watching all this, that you might have the power to suppress votes and validate insurrection now but in the long run this will cost you, an entire generation will be seared by this era, between voter suppression, insurrection and death cult policies the republican party has proven itself incapable of governing, the next time they are in power they will try to destroy our democracy, messy as it is under existential assault you realize how much you treasure it, its not if, its when and how, when I read this passage 20 years from now will it be whew, we made it but we got to stay alert, we see now it can happen here, or will it be, I tried to tell you, you wouldnt listen - every day I consider what i do just a little more important, i believe it is incumbent upon us as artists and visionaries to forge alternative realities to the one we find ourselves in, to provide the generations with healthier social and cultural options, either that or just bend over and kiss your ass goodby, like the republican party wants you to, unless you rich, white and dumb as a post, the folk trump refers to when he said - I love the poorly educated
aug 8, 10:11 am (145 of 253)
doing a read thru, reading clean
50 pages a day is the goal, got
40 pages to get thru today, 41
then one more day and i will
send if off, coulld easily take
1 more draft but Im done
-------------
So that afrofuturist conference, all my memphis folk were on the panel with me, sheree, jamey and troy but danian was in the audience and that’s my boy right, beverl;y bond had sent him my way, got that complllicated literary speculative tension in his work too so I ask him I say man you okay not being on the panel, are they treating you with respect down here and I must have been on speaker phone or something cause in the backgound I hear sheree warpathing, naw they don’t treat him with no respect and thats when I realize they together and I mutter something about I guess he straight, sheree told me the other day that I was the one introduced her and danien, and when they got married on a whim in las vegas they thought it was news to me but I told her when I introduced yall I did the rootwork beforehand, a heaping helping of dr loves special blend goober dust do it every time, 100 years mutual devotion, guaranteed
july 31, 10:36 pm
im basicalklly done
now im like scared
at what ive expposed
maybe for naught
but im proud to be an
artist, it is what it is
ima sppend tomorrow
playing w/it done deal
july 31, 5:31 pm (215 of 244)
inch by inch, step by step
sloowly we turn
july 30, 11:59 pm (192 of 243)
almost but im whipped, im done, it does
not feel special, just another grind, but it does
not matter, im, whipped, i quit, im done
figured out why my page count keeps rising
because i been break up big blocks into
digestible paragraphs
july 29, 11:59 pm (175 of 240)
okay, made my 20, just barely
grinding grinding all day long
25 is out of the question, and
my top number keeps rising?
okay 20 a day means 3 days
295, 115, 140, 3 hardcore days
then ii can collapse,
then i can rest
july 28, 10:03 pm (155 of 238)
made my 20, take a
break and go for 25
july 27, 11 pm (135 of 235)
not sure what to do,, didnt do a lick more work
id sit there annd stare at it till i nod off
i fear Im just burnt the fuck out
tomorrow i will try again
july 27, 8:16 am (135 of 235)
okay, the goal was my birthday, or rather is my bday
the 30th, last two days I feel off my grind, did 16 pages
so now Im behind, 100 pages 4 days means i got to
clock 25 a day, not counting the 5 or so ive already
done this morning, showtime, rick, showtime
(and if i fail being a day or 2 off is okay)
reason i fell off grind yesterday is im godawful weary
been grnding this memoir about 7 months now and
the tires are wearing thin, i do a couple hoours now
and Im ready to pass out but i gotta keep grinding
till its done, then i can pass out noo problem
and i will be out of it a week or so while i recover
i know how this works
i know what im doing
i got to go, i gotta
clock some pages
arf
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