JAN31: 6:34pm - pg 69 of 106
on july 2nd, halfway thru
fiending on the page
JAN31: 7:21AM pg 54 of 103
test photo by rukiejumah
interesting, i was concerned text was getting leaner
but as i move into more esoteric levels of life text
is getting more suggestive than explicit, witness
the week i just did, divinity, again i caution, not
even 1st draft yet, aint gon put real work online
again i caution, those who
steal protowork steal trash
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MAY 01: DEAR GOD, I LOOK TO YOU
I suggest you seek divinity
in all things this week
MAY02: I DO NOT KNOW WHAT GOD IS
but I know what god is not, no patriarch
no earth mother, no dysfunctional family
no dispenser of virgins
MAY02: CHILLING IN THE GAP
when times get hard and you feel
like you at the end of your rope
that’s where you will find god,
chilling in the gap
MAY03: DEAR GOD, I LOOK TO YOU
I suggest you seek divinity
in all things, in all ways
all its many names and
infinite manifestations
MAY04: THAT WAS GOD
new york times had a series little while back, humans of new york,
a daily photo with quote, random folk in the city, one day they had
a picture of a guy in a t-shirt, older guy, your basic new yorker park
benching on what is clearly a pretty summer day, said to interviewer -
god sends me little moments all day long to say, youre not alone,
brother, just a little while ago, an old hunched-over chinese
lady smiled at me with the greatest warmth in her eyes,
interviewer: and you think that was a message from god,
t-shirt guy: I think that was god,
MAY05: CENTERING
in your meditations I suggest centering
aligning your center / soul w / the
center of the universe / godhead, which
I also assume to be its circumference
MAY06: DEAR GOD, PLEASE HELP ME
most prayers are requests for assistance
folk reach for divinity in times of great need
but the greater grace is simply oneness
consciousness thereof
thank you, for all
your blessings
demoja
JAN31, 6:27AM pg 54 of 102
did another week last night and collapsed
a week short of a month, woke up, finished
off april, let us now do may, im behind
a month a day, its doable, just barely, let us
now separate the writers from the dilettantes
a month a day is the only way
JAN30, 11:24pm pg 49 of 106
i am burnt the fuck out on this project
raw manuscript is so damn depressing
i just want to put it down and workk on novel
but its just too fucking raggedy to stop here
2 more weeks and i will have a real draft
instead of a skeleton draft
been wrestling w/the page all day
and only on apr 15, did 2 weeks
what happeninng is im fleshing out the
skeleton, the 10 pgs a day doesnt work,
id like to do a month a day
that would be a draft in 12 days
but i wrestled hard with the page
today and only got apr 1 - 15
keep thinking month a day
but it may not be realistic
let me fail a couple of days before
i accept that slower pace
keep trying to do the
impossible, rick
thats where i do
my best work
JAN29, 6:16pm pg 31 of 91
at beginning of march, march 4th, 31 of 91 pageS
those numbers are a problem, 2 months in
and a third of the text, means the early
segments are fuller than later ones
keep in mind as i progress
JAN29, 9:34am pg 19 of 86
okay, so finished draft of pilgrimage text but too many holes
hitting it again, single spaced 11 pts its 86 pages, 10 pgs a day
and i will have a new text, but something happened today, just now
actually, a new voice showed up, check this out, feb 1st beat:
-----------------
FEBO1: WILLINGNESS TO SEE FLAWS
you must be ruthless in your self assessment, you must be willing
to acknowledge imperfections that violate your sense of self
this is easy to say but difficult to do, trust me, I know
and even when you detect critical flaws and limitations
it is difficult to address them, something in that dysfunctional
behavior reflects a need buried deep in your unconscious
when you find yourself acting contrary to your
well being, to good common sense, dig deep
you been fixed, chile, and likely the one doing the fixing is you
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okay that black elder that just showed up there
i like that, ima unleash that voice . . .
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