hello all

im in my morning grind and enjoying myself again
so let me just hit the highlights, so i been buried
in wisdom research since before summer

still got literally dozens of books i consider

critical reads but yesterday i shut down research
and this morning fought off a one more book urge

read this one beat said read the good books 1st
or you will never get around to them - so i see

okay so it was an act of great will to shut it down
and i am so proud of myself, i feel exhilarated

one of my wisdom beats says you never know all there is to know
information is infinite, got to take action in spite of the foggy road

i been buried deep damn near a year, its showtime
i got wisdom knowledge buried up the ying yang
at this point its begun to feel redundant somewhat

showtime, rick

ima give myself a week to work my notes into text
(which is imposs, i got 80 pages of 1 line beats
that have to be aggregated and placed, maybe two
weeks no mas, then its like a X page a day hump

for a draft that gon be godawful but

a draft

gotta go, serious fucking crunch city
i gotta be superhuman this month

im going for the zone

zora neale wrote their eyes were watchng
god in like a week, she hit the zone . . .

o i almost forgot

being scheduled for colerectal surgery
it is what it is, the hammer falleth,

i respond as i always do
work harder, work smarter

do good downtime
appreciate life

also taking better care of myself
got projects want finishing
got students need graduating

but also there is a certain acceptance
what used to drive me dont drive me
and im not totally sure who i am now
but whatever it is ima roll with it

james tried to cheer me up, said
dont be gloomy when i started
talking to him about my will

told him i aint gloomy im prudent
told him his age death an aberration

my age its process

told him expect the best
prepare for the worst

(5 more productive years
would do me right, lord, but
i will take whatever i get
its been a damn good run)

told him no drama, no social media (you clearly
do not couint as social media, mi regulators)

told him it probably scares
him more than it scares me

parents checking out is
a life passage thing

he got to deal with it

we all do / did

told him to take notes

ima show him how
to do this right

yall be safe