dec11 8:18 pm: the cuse
hello world
questing : word ai by rdoc
i dropped my phone, it hit an edge
and now there is a green light hicky
minimal little thing on my screen and
images now and its kind distracting
i assume i can get used to it
even now i mostly dont notice until
every once in awhile im conscious of it
its such a little thing im trying to just
live with it and i started thinking of it
as a hole in the wall to get right w/it
cause its kinda interesting, no matter what -
news, movies, photos, apps, games, etc
there is that little green light hickey shining
thru like its a hole in the universe
like it doesnt follow the basic rules of physics
its unchanging no matter what
and its like a spot between dimensions,
or rather a wormhole (?) between
dimensions and i speculate
i can get access to these dimensions thru
this hole in the wall / hole in the universe
okay this is me just riffing speculative
if a thought pops in mind write it down
decided i was gon let my freak flag fly this
draft and go deep, but trying to go deep
crippled me into writers block, but once i
decided what i had wasnt as bad as the
industry says it is i just revised
as always and im moving finally
not as deep and speculative as i want it to be
but whatever it is im writing it - and i got a dec 31
deadline - and i cant afford no fucking writers block
ima just do what i do,
but when speculative thoughts intrude
make note, come here and speculate
seeds to be nurtured when i get a moment
i want to take this text off the deep end
be safe be productive
ON SPECULATION
i should do a bit on speculaltion
what do i meannw hen i say ima speculate ob this one
i mean that i am going to take conceptual leaps that will
be short on causal logic, ima go deep meditative and
start channeling the great mojo or asomething
okay, interesting, when i started talking
about 'channeling the great nojo that was
an example of what im calling speculative
but when i added - or something
that was my logical intellectual self
qualifying the speculative leap
seems im willing to go specualtive
bt only with the training wheels on
okay what happening here, im free associating
annd geeralling roughly speculative beats
whhst i got to do is lean into this
go forward doing my pedestrian spiritual advice
but venture into the speculative as much
as possinle genearting these little seeds thaT
hopefully will bear fruit
this is what i did yesterday
chatoic, still early draft
but its the content im not happy with
still feels like little basic almanac advice
i want to operate on a higher deeper plane
what i assume is the more i work on it
the more the speculative will come to the fore
i want to start easy and wind them up
introduce them gradually to where i am
okay this is an example of old draft
not bad but not breathtaking
i want breathtaking
i got 12 months to do in 12 days
this is the week of jan 29
11 months to go, 12 days, thats like a
month a day, god help mme, i dont have
a chnce in hell of making that cut
but that wont stop me from trying
want to be a writer you got to be capable
of feats that would defy a normal person
im gon do this, i have never failed to do this
im going to drive myself into a wall that will
threaten my health and well being but ima
do this, and at the end of this process
ima have a draft
thats what i live for
drafts
what will happen (ive done this before)
i will be a week or so behind deadline sch
1st week in january soemwhere, the last
two weeks i will be desperate and fiending on the
page and this is the key to making it happen:
my standards will fall, by the end i will be accepting
work i would not accept as done now, a trashy draft
perhaps but it wll be a draft
it will take an act of god to cause
me to actually miss a deadline
i got to go
i am underwater
be safe be productive
all my love
JAN29: LIFE LICKS & PATTERNS
come, let us build on solid ground
Good Game require a good foundation and healthy lifestyle patterns.
Difficult to evolve if you haven’t mastered the basics of life - shelter, finances, relationships, etc – agency. And what about your daily grind? Does it take care of your needs and responsibilities. If not address this w/the quickness. grounding yourself is a critical 1st step. Establishing a functional life pattern addressing the issues in your life. Identifying life patterns that are not really working for you and tweaking as necessary.
Lifestyle patterns are a mix of behaviors habituated into patterns. Your customary ways of dealing with the challenges of life. Often these instinctive patterns are outdated remnants of earlier coping strategies that are no longer effective - or at least no longer optimal. Isolate and assess - is this a pattern, is it an effective pattern, how did it evolve, when did I adopt this pattern, to address what need, is that need still operative, is this pattern still viable - or is it costing me?
Okay we have pondered the imponderable. We have committed to a spiritual approach to life. Okay, lets get out in the arena. Let’s implement new protocols.
Life – messy exuberant heartbreaking life. Let’s start w/love. A primal force. o love come bless me, again and again.
There is no force quite like love, Love enhances everything it touches. Love of self, love of mate, family and friends. Love of all humanity and all things. Love of love. Consider love in our lives - how can it be enhanced. There are many variants of love, family love, friend love, stranger love but the love folk struggle with is romantic love. The fusion of two souls as one is not without its challenges. There are few human endeavors as prone to failure as love & happiness. A good mate is the very definition of grace.
In particular those with whom you share a home. Ain’t no blessing quite like domestic tranquility. Addressing issues in their infancy, bringing them out into the open, resolving it / them one way or the other. If left alone and unseen it will fester and the offending limb removed.
Long term love is knowing and accepting those irritating imperfections of your mate while consistently calling on their very best. The very conscious decision – I can deal w/this - someone you willing to court for all your days.
Romantic love is good for getting folk together but it take Transformative Love to keep them together, adjustments made, lives coordinated, natures accepted - logic be damned.
Recalls me the time Wisdom and Love was in courtship of Grace. To test them she let it be known that she had died. When they hear she dead Wisdom decided no need to rush while Love set out right away.
Ponder love in your life. Is it healthy love. How can it be healthier. Express it in new and illuminating ways. Be creative on / with / in love. Not just for your mate / family / friends but all god creature great and small - fill your life w/love.
Healthy families are in a constant state of adaptation, maintaining ongoing communication about the difficult things, managing inevitable family tensions, making time for family so when you in need family makes time for you. Be a font of harmony in family matters, calm troubled waters, be willing to make the 1st move, generosity of spirit an absolute must.
On parenting: is it ever done. Your job is to provide a healthy environment conducive to their growth as enlightened citizens of the world. Stability / achievement in whatever life they so choose, encouraging their efforts to find their own way, protecting and defending till they old enuf to protect and defend you.
And you, chillen: enjoy your youthful days on your parent’s dime. Once you have crossed the threshold of maturity you will find the responsibilities reversed, your own children as inexplicable as you once were. Enjoy your days of youth but reach for maturity quick as you can. The future is your responsibility.
And ye grands: positioning yourself as familial resources, repositories of family history and wisdom - honored elders worth your keep. In each generation there will be a keeper of the line, the responsible one, the conscious one, I fear that’s you, Dear Traveler, yeah you, the one w/this book in your hand, ready to walk on higher ground, the one person in each generation that takes on the responsibility of maintaining the family bonds, o ye keepers of the line – we salute you, with all my heart & soul; I salute you
The capacity for Hard Work is perhaps the single most significant indicator of success in life. Without the capacity for hardwork no vision becomes reality. Good work habits are a critical rite of passage.
Most any effort of worth require good work habits, getting a good job and holding it, achievement of any sort. Accept no excuses for not getting your work done. Conditions are never perfect, never right. Get your work done and conditions are perfect - by definition.
Most any serious project will take years to develop / implement / maintain - be ruthless, be strategic, constantly refining your production / discipline / getting more bang for your buck, mastering time management principles, living by the clock - sometimes you feel good about it, sometimes you don’t, what, pray tell, does how you feel have to do with getting your work done.
Constantly retool your skills to stay on the cutting edge so you are not left behind in the constant scruff of change. Abhor marginalization in any shape, form or fashion, be indispensable, twice as good as anybody else, so good you cannot be denied.
I notice that I attach suffix work to almost everything - godwork, soulwork, codework - saying something about effort, I guess. Anything worth having you have to work for it. The fruit of planning / execution / perseverance. Work hard, work smart, then maybe, just maybe, maybe you got a chance.
Always be willing to do a little bit more than anybody else would.
The importance of relationships in your life, on understanding people you dealing with in order to achieve desirable outcomes. The importance of family relationships, your 1st and last line of defense. The importance of family / friends / associates / teammates / neighbors / strangers / all tings. What I call concentric circles of care
I need my money. Everybody need they money, everybody need to be financially astute. Hard to get your head right if you can’t pay your bills. Pay down your debt / or operationalize it, depending on your level of play. And always be prepared for financial reverses, always be prepared to take the hammer, always have a cushion in reserve. Once you have mastered the basics apply yourself to advanced financial literacy, capital formation, institution building estate planning, etc etc. Work it, Playa. But do recall money don’t drive you. Making a difference is what drive you. Don’t squander your life / resources on fronting and blinging. Spending your money wisely is more important than how you make it - get your game on, Playa. So when the conch horn call you got resources to bring to the table.
It's a calling. The one thing you do better than anybody else could, the one thing speak truth to your soul. Determine what it will take to excel in your chosen field, determine if you willing to invest the commitment, the discipline, the years, the training, the positioning. Then again sometimes work just a grind, something you must endure, at this too I will excel, such is life – shalabongo.
Learn how to make a good living in your society, master a skill valued in it, a skill that you enjoy, one that gives you and yours the possibility of a secure future. Try many things till you find the one that fit you, something you like doing, something that utilize your particular skillset, that feed your particular passions and contributes social value. Let that thing become your lifes work and spend your days getting paid to do what you would gladly do for free.
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